To ask how you deal with people who just don't stop talking?

[MainFlamingo]

I am normally quite an assertive person but there are two people who both talk relentlessly that I cannot avoid, and just wondered how you deal with people like this?

Person A is an ex colleague of mine (who was known at the workplace for talking and doing no work), and is now a neighbour. Whenever she sees me she starts talking rather like Mr Chatterbox does in the Mr Men books! On and on and on. It's impossible to get a word in edgeways. If I excuse myself or say I'd better be going now she carries on talking. If she does this then I start slowly walking away whilst saying things like 'Got to be going now, see you soon' and she just talks at me until I've walked away. It sounds easier to get away from her than it actually is; I find it really hard to get away from her. She stands really close to me and keeps constant eye contact.

Person B is the grandfather of DS's school friend who picks DS's friend up from school 3 days each week. He always manages to find me at pick up and talks and talks. His talking as well as being constant talking at me, is full of put downs and digs about DS and I. Again it is really hard to avoid him as he lives near to us and so walks home the same route as us from school and as the boys are good friends they want to walk together. When it's time for me to walk to my house and him to walk to his the boys are always talking and playing and the grandfather keeps rabbiting away and as with person A I have to physically say 'See you tomorrow then' and walk off! Sometimes he still keeps talking to me once I've crossed the main road to go to my house! He's not lonely, he has a wife, children, grandchildren, and an active social life so I know it's not that.

How do you deal with this type of person? Obviously my preferred method is to just avoid them and believe me I do a lot of sneaking around to avoid them, but it's not always possible. I also get really panicky being talked 'at'; I really hate it, and feel resentful that someone is basically just stealing my time talking at me.

I had a phone call at work from another professional about one of my clients where I was disagreeing with something she'd done. She talked and talked and talked. When I got bored and cut across her to get my point over, she told me off for not letting her finish .

My grandmother was like this. I used to switch off and daydream. From time to time, I would add a uh huh, mmmm or yep into the conversation.

But once for my own amusement, I invited round a friend's mum who also never stopped talking. Then I left them to battle it out...

Close relative does this. I strongly suspect some Asperger's syndrome traits but they are older and I haven't got the courage up to suggest getting this assessed via the GP yet.
It gets worse when they are in social situations they are not sure about or meeting new people so it was kind of excruciating when they met my dh's relatives for the first time. They are quite quiet people so this person dealt with conversation pauses by going into complete random chat overdrive-aargh.
To be fair it's not always about them but it is usually something that you are totally not interested in like the detail of someone's life that you don't know or some other random topic and they seem to find it difficult to read cues to stop. I was not well after the birth of dd and had them round when a friend and her mum stopped by, I remember a rather intense monologue about a type of sponge they like and we all were a bit powerless to end it.
Liked pp's advice to just be direct and comment that they are talking a lot in a lighthearted way, might give it a try.
I think sometimes people like this are trying to connect and are not aware they are actually kind of harassing the listener with the way they talk.

I've come across this a few times. Initially I get embarrassed and pretend to listen, then I resort to avoiding, hiding and pretending to be on my phone. Finally, if "I'm sorry to cut you off but I must go," doesn't work (I've been body-blocked a few times to stop me from leaving), I reach the breaking point and use a trick that I learned from a family member: I just talk over them.

Of course they'll keep talking. The trick is to not stop talking either, getting louder and louder until you're nearly (or actually) shouting to finish telling them you need to go, and when you're done, push past them nicely and leave. Keep your tone the same, keep smiling, and don't sound angry. It can be kind of funny. I've never had it not work, especially in a public place.

My neighbour is like this too. She is in her 60s I think, and has no one to talk to so I feel badly but it's so fucking outrageous.

I hate being talked at. It's so frustrating.

Fucking YESSSS!!!

I also have a neighbor like this. Just on and on and on!
However she dislikes me now. I parked in front of her house once (it's a public road, no allocated parking) and she spent ages glaring out the window at my car. Now, I'd have happily parked outside my own house, but her daughter had parked there.

The grandad one is easy, I wouldn't let someone slang off my child to my face 3 days a week . 'Your being incredibly rude about my son, stop'

Boring people, take note.

I sometimes catch myself "over talking" at people, particularly when I am nervous, and I struggle to find a good stopping point. At work I find it hard to go from a full on conversation to working silently again, it just seems wrong.

Find something they don't like to talk about. Better that they hate. And always talk about it. Be that person.

They'll avoid you.

One of my brothers. Every family get together involves hours of monologue from him about films, amateur dramatics, Star Wars, Dr Who or Marvel universe, the movie industry's business dynamics, etc. It drives the rest of us potty. He is also obsessed by London and rambles on about how amazing it is for hours, despite only ever going to the Southbank or Covent Garden. No one can get a word in edgeways and if someone talks over him he glares at them and carries on.

i honestly dread visits sometimes and I don't think any of us know what to do about it. Our Dad has tried talking to him about but he just shuts him down and carries on. Even DS who, at 15, is actually interested in this stuff can't bear it. Any suggestions would be really welcome as it is a real problem.

I live in fear of being this person. I am terrible at reading social cues and constantly have to remind myself to stop talking, let the other person have a turn, and look for signals they are trying to end the conversation. I'm slightly better about it now but when I had two toddlers at home I was so desperate for adult interaction I might have resembled A or B.

There's another dog-walker who's like this - she'll talk at you for as long as she can (happy to repeat the same stories (about herself) over and over in the same conversation & they're not remotely interesting) & you really struggle to get a word in. She came round for a cuppa once, talked about herself for a whole hour (I had clear view of the kitchen clock!) and then as soon as I started to talk about myself she made her excuses and left! I now look out for her in the park & go the opposite direction if I see her (usually at speed, dragging DDog if necessary) but if I do get caught then I get in quick with a "can't stop, got a supermarket delivery between x & y and they're always early" - you need to know what the time is though so you can pick an imaginary delivery slot that fits. Everyone avoids her but it's her own fault.

I cut them off i know it is rude but you never get away if you stood there listening i had a woman at work go huffy on me when i said firmly i need to get on

Be rude. It's the only way!

I have a colleague that just wanted to chat in my office for ages and ages. I started closing my office door right up and let it be known the reason why. She soon stopped popping in.

Or start looking at your phone 😂

OP people like this are just the worst. My MIL is a bit like this in the sense that she has NO concept of how long she's being talking, so a simple story about making a cake can result in you sitting listening to a monologue for 10-15 minutes. I also have an uncle who's similar - in his case I suspect a combination of undiagnosed ASD and loneliness. Then there's simply the hopelessly self-involved person who loves to drone on about themselves - and as a PP says, when you finally get a word in edgeways, you see their eyes flickering back and forth until they can talk about themselves again.

It's very difficult - and far easier advised on an Internet forum than done - but you do have to be rude and cut them off and/or refuse to engage in conversation. Your time is precious.

Ooo shutting the door harsh

Do people who talk AT you not realise they are doing it they must know they talk non stop and not care or something

Wow 😲 this all seems very mean. You know a lot of people who talk incecently (sp?) do it through nerves and lack of confidence.

I'm not sure how you deal with people that talk non stop it's a really hard one as people that talk non stop just don't know when to shut the fuck up or actually recognise when people are becoming bored if their non stop jabbering it's like they don't even take a breath between sentences and just go on and on and on and on I bet they don't even use full stops when they write there is just no filter is there it's bloody annoying especially when you are trying to get something done or have to be somewhere and they are like blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah and half the stuff coming out of their mouths is just total pointless bullshit it gets to the point where a you see is their big fat lips moving at 100 mph jabber jabber jabber then they all have annoying laughs that fill any gaps they have the mistake to leave in their long boring tiresome one sided conversation you are pretending to look vaguely interested in and every time you try to get a word in they just talk right over you so fucking rude and self important after half an hour all their words just merge into one and you start secretly thinking to yourself please just fuck off and die

GreenTulips - I often wonder where these people actually 'hear' gossip ? They obviously don't listen!!*

I second this! My DM doesn't listen to anything i have to say and yet will regale me for bloody hours about everyone else's boring details. So she must be listening to them!

I am not totally heartless i realise people might nervously chatter but even if you are anxious you need to take a blooming breath and realise you need to stop talking sometimes. Woman i was on about hardly speaks to me now i probably didn't handle her very well but when you have work to do before people arrive you do need to get on with it.

MrsJay I hear ya. It's not mean. If people at work have the time to stand around gossiping and chatting for hours on end when you are trying to get your work done, regardless of whether they have confidence or nervous issues then they are bloody rude not the other way round. I like a bit of a chat and a catch up at work but it's the ones that camp out in your room.

Just get on with your piggin work for fuck sake 😂😡