AIBU to think my son's name isn't that hard to pronounce?

[SailorByTheSea]

Or is this an acceptable pronunciation!?

We live in London, so 'fear' is 1 syllable (this is relevant!)

My son is called Theodore... You know, 3 syllables, 'The-uh-door'?

All he gets is 'fear-door' please tell me that this isn't an acceptable pronunciation? It makes me regret his name massively

Really Dame. Where is your accent from?

Really Dame. Where is your accent from? Bit of West Country and 20+ years in London.

don't call someone Helen if she's called Helena.... The poster earlier who wasn't happy that people dropped the H on her son's name (Harry) was being ridiculous,

So it's not ok to call Helena Helen, because it's not her name, but if someone's called Helen, it's all right to call her Ellen - which also isn't her name?

'There is very little difference in sound between fur, fare, fair, spur, care'

Fare, fair, and care certainly rhyme in my (Dublin) accent. Fur definitely does not rhyme with them though!

No worries.

Fur and the other 'err' words are totally different from the 'air' words in my accent - can't rhyme no matter how much effort goes in. Language is a funny bastard.

The insufferable arrogance of people grin.The assumption that if anyone does something different to you, makes them wrong is hilarious.

Yep. But then I have a Northern Irish accent, and I long ago reached my tolerance limit for people telling me that it's "wrong".

So it's not ok to call Helena Helen, because it's not her name, but if someone's called Helen, it's all right to call her Ellen - which also isn't her name?

Yes, because you're not saying Ellen, you're saying Helen, but dropping the H. It's OK to say " 'ell's bells! Can you give me some 'elp with this 'elmet, 'elen."

Fur and the other 'err' words are totally different from the 'air' words in my accent - can't rhyme no matter how much effort goes in.

Same for me.

I can make them rhyme but then they're totally different words to me. :) Care and cur, fur and fair/fare.

What's most interesting to me is what we don't notice about the way people with different accents pronounce words. It's often only if we're trying to reproduce them that we really stop and pay attention to the vowel sound, for instance. So if I'm listening to someone with a strong Devonian accent I would be aware it was different, but unless I was really thinking about it I wouldn't know exactly how to say which vowel.

DH is from the South West and, after university and years in London, he has a pretty standard modern RP accent, except for a few short vowels, most noticeably a short 'u' like in 'shut' for words such as 'bully' and 'put'.

Same here SenecaFalls.
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Imustbemad00 Sun 03-Sep-17 14:15:09
I live in se London. I genuinely do not know the difference between 'th' and 'f' I thought they were both pronounced the same. Can anybody explain what the difference is?
TH is pronounced with the tip of your tongue just barely touching the tip of your top front teeth.
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F is pronounced with your lower lip touching the tip of your top front teeth.
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I live in se London. I genuinely do not know the difference between 'th' and 'f' I thought they were both pronounced the same. Can anybody explain what the difference is?

Thanks to mathanxiety for the very helpful explanation

But as to the point about not understanding the difference and thinking th and f were pronounced the same. Do you really think the Queen would say fing and fought and fursday and firsty (instead of thing and thought and Thursday and thirsty)? Once upon a time the only accents you'd hear from newsreaders were RP so that's not a useful barometer. But even then, very few national newsreaders would say funder and lightning, because not many BBC news presenters have an estuary English accent I am categorically not saying one is 'right' and one is 'wrong'. But surely you can mentally conceive of the fact that not everybody says th- as f-

Just keep correcting and correcting! Especially at school :)

I am categorically not saying one is 'right' and one is 'wrong'. But surely you can mentally conceive of the fact that not everybody says th- as f-

This is what I would've assumed, as well.

People from English speaking countries that aren't in the UK say 'th'. Many accents within the UK say 'th'. Even in London, where 'f' is common, it's still not a blanket rule.

Received Pronunciation is widespread in London. That accent pronounces it 'th'.

You would have to have never left your neighbourhood to think everyone pronounces 'three' as 'free'.

Oh dear ... if we had another boy we were going to call him Theodore - having second thoughts now!

the sound in bear for some accents is an open e like in air or claire, in others a closed ur like in Ursula or the beginning of earned.

but in some accents air and claire are also ur, cilla black is famous for saying 'clur' for Claire for example. again, regional variation in vowel sounds.

so, the 'e' symbol is the sound in bear. the thing that looks like a backwards 3 is the uh sound in fur.

NC4now in the animated film Beowulf, they actually animate Ray Winstone as saying "strengf"! 😂

I have a Theo and have only noticed 'Feo' from a few of his friends in nursery and Reception who cannot yet make the correct 'Th' sound, and his great grandma who is originally from London (mind you, she sometimes called him Leo too!). We live near Bath. I would be annoyed too, OP. It's such a lovely name. My MIL is married to someone from the Welsh Valleys and he says 'Thee- orrr'... Gah! What is WRONG with people?! ;-)

So it's not ok to call Helena Helen, because it's not her name, but if someone's called Helen, it's all right to call her Ellen - which also isn't her name?

Yes, because you're not saying Ellen, you're saying Helen, but dropping the H. It's OK to say " 'ell's bells! Can you give me some 'elp with this 'elmet, 'elen."

I'm not so sure this is OK, though. Unless you're telling me that people from the north or from London (the two accents I'm hearing this in) are physically incapable of pronouncing the letter H, which I don't believe for a second. The name is Helen, not Ellen, and should be pronounced as such. An effort should be made.

Where I draw a line is where it becomes something else, especially when the incorrect pronunciation of someone's name leads to them being called a name that is not theirs. That's not charming dialect - it's arrogance: "My roots are more important than calling you by the correct name".

I think YABU to expect people not to use their own regional accent to pronounce a name.

it's arrogance: "My roots are more important than calling you by the correct name".

I don't think so. It's exactly the same as the 'Jane' conundrum upthread - in some accents, it is pronounced in a way that to me sounds closer to 'Jean' than how I say 'Jane'.

Should a Jane who lives near me call a Jane in some parts of the north 'Jean'? Chances are she couldn't really replicate the northern Jane's vowel sound, as it's not her accent. Will she just sound patronising? Weird? 'Hello Jean, it's Jane here.' Clearly not - it would be ridiculous.

If it holds true for vowels, it holds true for consonants.

You could equally say it is arrogant to ignore different accents and insist people say your name with your accent.

I also pronounce 'dew' and 'due' the same as 'jew'.

Now that one is quite interesting.

My mouth makes different shapes but I can't hear much of a difference.

The whole thread is hilarious or tragic, depending on your point of view - several people have pointed out that regional variations in pronunciation is not the same as incorrect pronunciations, that there is an internal order, grammar, system to the variations etc etc. All from, I assume, mostly English-speaking people, who infamously mangle foreign names all. the. time ("we'll just call you John") and, if English, have managed to mangle their own language to the point where they don't pronounce the letter R at all. If you think about it. Is nothing sacred?

Also, English words are, again famously or infamously, not pronounced the way they're spelt.