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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To be fed up of Instamums 2

999 replies

Hmmmmx100 · 02/09/2017 22:33

Continued from original post...

OP posts:
ElspethFlashman · 04/09/2017 22:27

I don't know if it's a coincidence but I was just watching an instastory from a Mum blogger where she said someone had messaged her to say they were unfollowing cos she posted a photo of her child having a meltdown in a large department store. I think the gist of it was "how can you take a photo of your child when they're bawling"

It must have been in her Instastories yesterday which I didn't see, as it's not on her feed. Anyway she was very shaken by it and said it wasn't something she'd do again in light of that feedback. However she seemed to be defending her decision to take the photo rather than the fact she posted it to thousands of people.

Personally I fundamentally disagree with posting a picture of your crying daughter on social media to a hell of a lot of strangers - it's not her choice. She seems to think it helps her followers to see that her kid has tantrums?

I don't understand that logic. As if it's a public service to put a picture of your tearful child on Instagram? So other mums can feel less unique when their kid is being impossible?

My initial thoughts are: can't you just write it in the caption instead? "Here I am in X store, where Little Girl had a tantrum that lasted half an hour and we were mortified. Toddlers, am I right??!"

There was simply no need for the image, which clearly someone found distressing.

So I'm not going to name her as she was upset enough without me doing that tbh. But I find it interesting that Instagram seems to be such a visual medium that there seems to be a subconscious "pics or it didn't happen" position that Instamums fall into where it doesn't occur to them NOT to take a photo to share.

CrazyLittleCow · 04/09/2017 22:30

Marthashappyeverafter or whatever she's called has just called us all bitches on her instastories and said we should all be like men Confused

#womensupportingwomen #unlesstheydontthinkimgreat

Mumsytomy · 04/09/2017 22:32

That's a shame, she's usually so lovely and she was spoken highly of on here.

Ashley121 · 04/09/2017 22:33

Wow you ladies are vicious. I actually think your all incredibley jealous. If you don't like it don't look.

Focus on your own life and let others live theirs. Who cares what other people do.

CrazyLittleCow · 04/09/2017 22:34

Focus on your own life and let others live theirs. Who cares what other people do.

Well you have clearly come over from Instagram to moan at us so maybe follow your own advice eh?

Ashley121 · 04/09/2017 22:38

I do, I respect you opinions but you sound very jealous. I'm not envious of these women. Why do you care if people promote brand etc. It's not physically hurting you.

Just don't follow/look at their instagrams.

Attacking me is not going to provide you with satisfaction is it?

Mumsytomy · 04/09/2017 22:39

Ashley so no doubt on the basis of reading comments on Instagram you've come over on to this page to tell a group of women you don't know, who could also be posting on Instagram that they are vicious and incredibly jealous. The you add 'focus on your own lives and let others live their's. Who cares what others do' ....
So are you trolling or do you not actually realise what you are doing.

CrazyLittleCow · 04/09/2017 22:40

So am I only allowed to care about things that physically hurt me?

No one has complained about brands being promoted. They have complained about brands not being transparently promoted.

And they have since complained about being piled into (viciously) by all the fan girls on Instagram.

Is that ok?

ElspethFlashman · 04/09/2017 22:40

Is attacking us satisfying you?

Mumsytomy · 04/09/2017 22:41

You don't respect others opinions or you would not have made that comment.

Ashley121 · 04/09/2017 22:42

I'm not trolling I'm reading a public thread. I'm not abusing you ladies. Surely this is not healthy for your minds. I'm just saying it's vicious, don't worry about other women. Enjoy your own lives. If you don't like it don't look.

Mumsytomy · 04/09/2017 22:43

If you are happy to follow people who are not being open about their accounts, that's fine, it doesn't bother you, if it did you would unfollow. It's not really vicious or jealousy to discuss it. And open accounts like motherpukka have had very positive comments as their advertising is clear.

CrazyLittleCow · 04/09/2017 22:44

What about Susie Verrill calling us vitriolic psychos? Is that vicious too or is she exempt?

CrazyLittleCow · 04/09/2017 22:44

And how do you know we're all ladies anyway?

GreyBird84 · 04/09/2017 22:44

The daily mail quoted me does that make me famous now Smile

Mumsytomy · 04/09/2017 22:45

I would say 'wow you ladies are vicious. I actually think you are all incredibly jealous' is actually 'abusing you ladies' and is exactly what you are accusing this thread of doing to Instagram.

Mumsytomy · 04/09/2017 22:46

But clearly it's ok for you to do that here, but not for anyone to question anything that happens on Instagram. Double standards.

ElspethFlashman · 04/09/2017 22:49

I'm going to unfollow Martha.

One thing I've come to detest over the past 24 hrs is Instamamas polishing their halos about being so superior to everyone who posts here.....whilst bitching about us and stirring drama and stoking the embers amongst their followers.

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 04/09/2017 22:53

I've spent a fascinating night on Instagram whilst eating frazzles and watching the X Factor

It's obviously going to be the case that other Instagram people disagree with this thread as they have a vested bloody interest.

Turning it around, the instagram approach here would be for me to write a slightly passive aggressive post asking why women on Instagram were attacking me. A fellow woman. And trying to prevent me from just stating my opinion. I would also need to add here that I am totally fine and rising above it all. I'm just worried about my friends who are messaging me and getting very upset on my behalf.

It's bollocks. And not a way to carry out reasoned debate.

It's fundamentally correct that there are clearly posts on Instagram which are adverts and not correctly tagged as such. It's also clearly the case that there are a lot of very small children who are having their privacy thoroughly breached without being able to give any consent to that. Meaningful or otherwise. These are matters of fact and it's perfectly legitimate to point this out.

BubbleAnimal · 04/09/2017 22:57

The problem is now it's been picked up by the DF in the crappy way it has, is it looks like this thread is only about those particular posts. No mention or screen grabs of the discussion which merited instagrammers coming in and say "yes ok you have a point"

So now people are reading the DF, saying bitches, and coming here to post, without reading the 1600 other posts in the discussion. Which is a shame.

Instaslum · 04/09/2017 22:58

Fascinating discussion. Think @mrslister several pages back was spot on. And oh the irony of Insta attacking MN - it's almost cannibalism - would love to see the overlap of MN/Instagram users. Daily Fail totally missing the point as ever.

I've followed MoD and FoD for a while and noticed the shift from midwife/kids/family life to holidays/clothes/product mentions and I'm not defending their choices but It did occur to me that they're being poorly advised. Seemed like a missed opportunity as I think they could have been developed in a much more authentic way and had a successful business without selling out. Feels like it's all spun out of control too quickly and not sure where they go from here but their agent has to take some responsibility too.

CourtneyLoveIsMySpiritAnimal · 04/09/2017 22:58

Marthashappyeverafter or whatever she's called has just called us all bitches on her instastories and said we should all be like men

I think these threads have really hit a nerve with some of these Instagrammers and I think it's mainly the points about pimping out your kids (who are too young to consent) so that you can make yourself a quick buck or two (or more likely blag a free holiday/washing machine).

What's going to happen when the kids are older and a) maybe don't want their every move/headlouse documented for 30k plus followers to see or b) aren't quite as photogenic as they move into that awkward teenager phase?

SideOrderofSprouts · 04/09/2017 23:01

I had a feeling this would hit the DF.

(Been reading)

Mumsytomy · 04/09/2017 23:08

Well it's the first time this week, bar small lovely brands, that I noticed Martha joining forces with Tesco (as did mother of all ads and sprinkle of glitter-who's not sprinkle of glitter any more) so Tesco have hit the instal party.

Mumsytomy · 04/09/2017 23:16

So there's evil bitches on mumsnet, there's evil bitches on Instagram and there's evil bitches commenting on the daily fail. It's a bloody scary world. Is anywhere even safe.

I love Totes on Facebook (is she on Instagram? She sang an amazing song whilst cleaning her loo called 'I'm a grumpy old troll who lives under a bridge') and Gill Sims and judgy dog. Fairly harmless banter.

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