AIBU to not go to this concert with DP?

[thekittensmittens76]

DP is meeting up with his brother to go to a small gig. It's rock metal music or something. They were going with another friend but he dropped out, so there's a ticket spare. DP asked me if I wanted to go, but since he hasn't seen his brother in a while I initially said it would nicer for just the two of them to go and spend some quality time together. Important note - I have met all of DP's family but this brother, because he lives in another country.

Anyway, DP has really been digging in his heels about me going. To keep the peace, I half-heartedly agreed BEFORE he told me the specifics of this concert (he originally phrased it like it was a casual meet-up with brother). However, after learning the full story, there's a whole load of reasons that I don't want to go. I am tiny and hate crowded spaces like gigs because I get crushed or trodden on. DP's also said that I should bring ear plugs because the music will likely be too loud for me?! Plus I hate rock metal music. He's also said I will need to wear clothes 'I don't mind getting ruined'. I take great pride in my wardrobe and all my clothes are lovely and expensive! Basically, I really do not want to go, concerts were never my thing and never will be. I thought it was going to be a chilled out drinking session with music, but it's not.

DP is utterly insistent that I go. AIBU to not go?

Sell the tickets, go out somewhere nice instead.

Or tell your DP to stop bullying you and go on his own.

Why isn't he insisting that the others go?

I do feel very a bit bad. Oh God, am I a complete pushover?

He could go by himself if he is that desperate to see the band. Hash is brother pulled out too?

I am struggling to imagine a relationship where one partner says 'I don't want to do that' and the other partner says anything other than 'fair enough dear'.

Has he always been a bully?

Tell him to go and sell the tickets at the door to a random stranger, if there are any around that want tickets.

If he actually wanted you to go, you'd have been the first on the list surely?

Tell him you are not a substitute and are staying in as planned.

Think about it. Everyone else has dropped out of something they like.

Why would you then step in because he insists you go to something you don't like?

Say no.

What kind of gift is that?? How is a gift you hate a reason? If my dp got me tix to motor sports I wouldn't go.

Think about it. Everyone else has dropped out of something they like. Clear thinking there!

It´s not a gift. You are stepping in for someone who couldn´t go. How come they are allowed not to go but you aren´t? Another one saying tell him to piss off. He needs to learn to accept "No" as an answer and to stop trying to steam-roller you into doing what he wants. It will be a good lesson for him for other occasions.

It sounds like he just really wants to go, and he can hardly go on his own. I don't see the big deal, it sounds like a laugh even if you aren't a diehard fan. You could always go home if you hate it.
I've insisted on watching films other people haven't really been into at the cinema, it doesn't mean I'm a controlling bully! What's the worst that could happen? You might enjoy yourself.

I still think we need to know the band to give final advice. It might be a great band to watch (even if you don't enjoy the music)!

Tell him no. He's a twat by the way.

I have been to many concerts on my own.

DP likes the same bands but cannot stand how loud it is.

No way would I go!

I arranged to take DH to a Bowie cover band in a fantastic seated venue. That is my limit and it was for his birthday.

No way would I go to that sort of venue to see I band I didn't like!

No. You don't have to go to anything you don't want to!

I'm with you - I hate gigs where it's too loud and crowded - and the prospect of getting drinks sloshed over me doesn't make it any more attractive!

It's not your fault someone dropped out.

Don't go!

If it's not your type of thing, (it wouldn't be myn either) you don't want to go and you've been told of lots of things you wouldn't enjoy about it then don't go.

Foot Down!!

Even if everyone else has dropped out, you still don't have to go. He's a grown man and he should be able to go on his own. Go and have a drink and something to eat with him first, kiss him goodbye and then you go home and he goes to the gig. People - particularly men - go to gigs alone all the time.

I would rather go to a gig on my own than go with someone who I know full well is having an absolutely miserable time. Where's the pleasure in knowing your partner is there with you being forced into something they hate?!

If you do go, on no account let him have a go at you for being 'miserable' or 'no fun' if you really hate it, and don't let him make you stand near the front if you don't want to.

Please support your OH - it obviously means a lot to him

I foresee you're going to have a blinding migraine that day.

Even as a self-confessed metalhead, it can be bloody awful being forced to see a band you can't stand.

why is he being so weird about it?

If he's worried about the money tell him to sell the ticket.

Please support your OH - it obviously means a lot to him

He's not five years old.

I'd back out. And the wear clothes you dont mind getting ruined is a red flag for me. I recently learned that at these types of gigs people throw urine at the stage from the floor or something like that. So you could end up covered in piss. Yuck.