To not sending dc to nursery when he turns 3

[NotAnotherUserName5]

No big reason for not sending him really. I'd just like to take him for days out to farm parks, beaches, mother and toddler groups etc.

The nursery he would be going to would mean we couldn't do any of these things anymore, as everything's a good half hours drive away (rural) and I have older dcs to collect at 3pm. Set over 5 days, the sessions would mean I'd be stuck at home with my new baby.

I had this scenario when my older dc went to nursery and I got very withdrawn at being stuck at home with the baby.

Family all think I'm holding my dc back/mad for considering this.

AIBU?

Private nurseries depend on quality Op. The local montesourri near me charges around 1,000 for 5 half days but is rubbish. A little acorns charges the same for 3 half days.

Surely they can't compel him to go to all 5 sessions? Just send him for a couple of the morning sessions a week, I am sure that will be fine if you tell them in advance.

we're in East Anglia and a full day in DD's private nursery is £50 per day 7.30am to 6pm, though DD (3.5) does 9-5. However she qualifies for the 30 hours funding so this is reduced to £12 per day during term time.

Ask the private nurseries in your area if they will allow you to use funded hours to attend a full day or two instead of lots of shorter sessions.

And a say that as a teacher.

Lady it isn't "tosh" for every child. There are many children who would be held back. Read Nutty's post below yours.
Not all children are like yours, believe it or not.

OP you're best to look on the nursery websites, they will tell you how much a session is.

I think there is benefit to do 2 or 3 half days so he gets a balance.

Have you asked the nursery (I'm assuming it is what I would call a pre-school) if he can do shorter hours?

Just ask them if you haven't already, though when I say ask I mean be pretty firm that this is what you intend to do.

I think rather than 2, 3 half days might offer more benefit. You'll probably get a better price and a better quality nursery.

"You'll be horrified how many non-nursery kids who start school at 4 who don't have any idea how to interact with other kids on a sustained basis over more than an hour or so. Or who don't get used to eating school dinners by themselves (teachers won't feed them) or aren't familiar with proper meals that haven't been mushed/cut up. All of that holds a kid back from learning."

But the OP is taking her child to mother and baby groups/playgroups so her child is used to interacting with others and they certainly don't need to go to nursery to learn how to feed themselves or sing nursery rhymes as some of these posts are suggesting.

I teach in a primary school and see both children who have and haven't been to nursery, those that haven't are certainly not always disadvantaged at all.

luminaries I know in England funding is linked to attendance so if a Child was regularly missing a lot of sessions (without medical reasons etc) then the nursery would lose the funding for that Child.

It all depends on your preference. When we were little nobody went to nurseru until they started at the school nursery or reception. The holding back thing is rubbish, as long as your dc interacts with other children at baby groups, does lots of outings with you, etc. 3 is still so little, unless I had to I wouldn't send mine either. They've got another 15 years to be away from home at school every day, it's a lot for little ones! If you dont want to send him thats entirely fine. Yanbu.

I definitely wouldn't send my 3 year old into nursery for 5 days but I would look into private nurseries or play groups as a few sessions a week would be the best of both worlds. I would also take the opportunity to do some activities/baby groups with the baby whilst your 3 year old is at nursery rather than be stuck at home with the baby.

If there are no other reasonable nursery options then going to a few toddler groups/pre-school activity classes a week will be enough socialisation for your 3 year old.

You have to spread the time over 5 full days however do you have to attend all 5 days? It's not compulsory so I don't see why.
We had this same exact situation last year. What I decided on was...
One day off a week to do a day out, one day after school a week straight to the cafe, one day straight to the park. I know totally what you mean about keeping them at home a bit longer however my girl loved nursery, had so much fun, made so many friends, really developed in so many ways and isn't worried about reception however we've had lots of tears and anxiety from her friends who didn't go at all so with my next I'll do exactly the same again. Nursery didn't mind at all about us being out one day a week. Maybe chat to them.

Which year do you teach Lady?

IfYouGoDown I am fully aware that all children aren't like mine, but just as you say some children would be disadvantaged, there are many others who do not need to go to nursery, it's not "essential" to development as a lot of posters are suggesting.

I don't see why he couldn't go 2 days that way you've got a cleaning day and washing day plus time with him. Personally I would use the time to go to the gym and catch up on my tv.

Who are all these kids who have school dinners at nursery? Mine didn't, one only did 3 mornings a week and the other 2 mornings and one full day with a packed lunch. Local primary school doesn't do school dinners for nursery kids, they cope fine in reception. I understand your thinking op, I sent mine to nurseries that still enabled me to spend quality time with them, getting out and doing things. Once they start school everything changes and you never get that chance back. If you choose not to send him, make sure you help him along with letters and numbers, and try and socialise him at playgroups, with friends etc.

Who are all these kids who have school dinners at nursery? Mine didn't, one only did 3 mornings a week and the other 2 mornings and one full day with a packed lunch. Local primary school doesn't do school dinners for nursery kids, they cope fine in reception. I understand your thinking op, I sent mine to nurseries that still enabled me to spend quality time with them, getting out and doing things. Once they start school everything changes and you never get that chance back. If you choose not to send him, make sure you help him along with letters and numbers, and try and socialise him at playgroups, with friends etc.

IfYouGoDown I've taught in all primary ages over the years, why?

Nursery is a good thing IMO.

TBH there is nothing stopping you from doing all those things if you fancy and your DC being in nursery.

In the days when the weather was nice and I wanted to visit a beach etc with DS, he simply didn't go to nursery on that day. In fact the nursery teacher said to take every opportunity to do things like that when we could as nursery is NOT compulsory.

Perhaps I could pay for a couple of sessions a week in a private nursery Mine went to private day nursery but I didn't pay after 3, just used the 15 hours free sessions. Do you get that in Wales?

In England you don't have to take up all 15 hours of funding. When you apply for a place, there's a funding form to be filled in, and on that the provider states how many funded hours you would like to take up.
I'm sure it will be be the same in wales. All you have to do is state that you'd like 3 mornings and then decide with the nursery which mornings you'd like.

You could spend some of those mornings doing things with your little DC, a walk around town, meet some other mum's for coffee, go to a baby groupmaybe? And your DS will be enjoying the benefit that good quality early years education can bring.

Who are all these kids who have school dinners at nursery

Mine did. Dd did 9-1 so had dinner

Ds does 2.30 till 5.30 so gets tea.

Both are a mixture of hot food and picnic style

Dd starts school on Tuesday and gets a hot meal every day

@Lady - where I live 90 per cent of the kids who start school at 4 have been to nursery for at least a year. The ones who haven't ARE held back and probably never catch up because while the nursery kids are learning stuff the teacher has to catch the non-nursery kids on how to do basic stuff. Things were different years ago because most kids didn't go so you were comparing apples to apples now you're not and OP would definitely be doing her son a disservice by not sending him.

Also a lot of my family are reception/year 1 teachers in cities and have basically complained time and time again that play groups are never a substitute for nursery, as it's an hour tops. A lot of non-nursery kids simply can't deal with other kids for longer and so will get violent/throw tantrums/not make friends.

Completely unnecessary tbh, not every child needs to go. The age for 'necessary' keeps getting younger and younger, it seems bonkers to me. If you lead a normal life, out and about and interacting then he will be getting everything he needs.

Who are all these kids who have school dinners at nursery

All nurseries here serve breakfast, lunch, tea, and dinner. It's done properly too in a family setting where kids are taught how to be sociable. Only pre-requisite is that your kid needs to know how to sit up and have been weaned.