To not want DHs family to come stay 2 weeks before my due date

[Pooshweens]

Just that really. DH booked in for his cousin, wife and kids to stay with us for a night over a weekend less than 2 weeks before my due date

I'm 34 weeks pregnant, fed up, grumpy, knackered, and don't want to be entertaining, cooking, making beds etc in my state, let alone in a few weeks

DH already moved it once so he could go to a rugby match so it can't be that big a deal to him but now he's now got the hump that I don't want them to stay. They live too far away to come for lunch

AIBU?

If he has organised it, he caters for them. Food, beds, everything. You're heavily pregnant & they are his family, therefore you will be sitting with your feet up, being (worshipped) brought tea & cake. If he doesn't like it, he reorganises. His problem.

I think so. Just ask your husband to do all the prep, bed making, cooking etc. It then becomes a non-problem.

Yanbu op.

I take it dh is going to do all of the running around before , during and after his guests?

Fuck that for a game of soldiers. Get them to get a cottage or b&b

I had a house guest for two nights three days before I was due. I found it actually took my mind off waiting to go into labour. He was a friend of my husband's though so I definitely played no part in "hosting". In no way should you be expected to do anything!

His family, his invite, his problem

Let them stay, but you should be putting your feet up while your DH runs round after HIS family.

I'm not feeling very sociable at the moment - a couple of hours is enough for me and then I like some peace and quiet (whereas they'll keep drinking all afternoon...)

DH would say he'll do everything but you know what it's like, I'll end up having to do all the shopping etc or tidying up will take ages if left to him

He invited them, he hosts you are putting your feet up as ordered by the midwife.
Also there is the possibility you could be in labour, I had my DD at 37 weeks and ds at 38 weeks.

I know what you mean op. I'm very pregnant too and would hate people being in my space right now. I'm incredibly uncomfortable all of the time.

Please make sure you don't run around after these guests though. Don't take responsibility for their beds , meals or entertaining them and if they wish to stay up late then simply make your apologies and head to bed whenever you please.

Stop seeing this as your problem. It isn't.

I wouldn't like this either.

But, if they are indeed coming, it is your DH's problem. Tell him what he needs to do, and then sit back. If he doesn't do it, still sit back. Do not get involved in preparing for their visit.

Leeds2- I wouldn't even tell him what he needs to do , I'd just say that I'm not fit to prepare for house guests right now and let him work everything out!

Fuck that. He knew you didn't want this and he has done it anyway. I would tell him I had arranged to spend a relaxing weekend with friend X/Mum/Sister in preparation for the birth, and of course he will have such a better time entertaining his family without heavily pregnant old you around cramping his style.....

If necessary I would just decamp to a local hotel or B&B - you deserve some relaxation. Just think - baths, books, tv. .....bliss.

And don't do any prep - no bed prep/shopping/etc

YANBU. Tell him they stay elsewhere and go out elsewhere or else postpone until 6 weeks after baby - surely better for them too? Can you discreetly and tearfully appeal to the cousin's wife? She may remember how tired and antisocial late pregnancy makes you feel

Its one night, and it could be a month before the baby comes. Providing that your husband does all the prep, and they know you might leave them to it and have an early night, I really don't see the problem.

I don't think you are being unreasonable op.

I'm currently 37 weeks with my 2nd and I don't particularly want to see anyone, even my own parents and sister for a few hours. I'm uncomfortable and feeling crap - all I want to do is lay down all day. I definitely would not be having anyone come to stay (perhaps with the exception of my sister - but she would come and do housework, cook dinner, set up her own bed etc. I could stay laying down if I wanted - definitely would not need to host!).

Could you try explaining to DH again that you really aren't comfortable making any kind of plans so close to your due date and that you'd hate to let them down at the last minute? As a pp said, there's no guarantee that you'll make it to 40 weeks

Bless you OP. I get it, I'm 39 weeks tomorrow and can't bare to around anyone. Having people, even family, stay in my home would be a step too far. If he is insistent on this, then just excuse yourself and have long naps in bed. Kit your bedroom out with books, and snacks, and let him get on with the hosting. It's not fair that he didn't consult with you before agreeing to the dates either. YANBU.

Completely understand this. My dh has volunteered for me to go and stay with the in laws for a week near my due date as he works long hours and doesn't want me to be alone. To say I'm not happy is an understatement. Doesn't matter how many times I say I don't need to no one seems to be listening. Can't stay with my family as they live too far away. Currently 38 weeks and desperately hoping I go into labour soon so I can get away with not staying. We shall see where babies loyalties lie in the next few weeks, I tell her every night to come now

I'll end up having to do all the shopping etc

Nope. Just don't do the shopping. If there's no food in he'll have to either get it in or they all go hungry. You're pregnant, they should absolutely not be expecting you to be waiting on them hand and foot - if they do, tough. If you have enough of them, say you're tired, go upstairs and leave them to it.

And yes, your Dh is a twat for inviting them without checking it was ok with you first. It's his relatives but it's your house too.

I agree it is your Dh problem but not to look after them but to tell them no they can't come! You are pregnant and want some quite time before baby arrives, end of, doesn't matter is oh cooks or not you want your home to yourselves, end of. He shouldn't have agreed without speaking to you. Both of mine were two weeks early so what if you start to get pains as they arrive, no thanks. If he can move it for Rugby he can move it for you!

Let them come. Do NOTHING. No prep. Let the house be a state. Let there be no food. Let your DH suck it up. Spend a little time with them then say you are knackered and go up to your room. Go and see a friend for a few hours. His guests, his responsibility.

What sort of people think it's ok to descend en masse to stay with a woman who'll be 38.5 weeks pregnant? If they're that inconsiderate I wouldn't hold out on them not expecting to be waited on hand and foot either...

Agree with minoanddolphin, you let your DP do. all. of. it. If he fucks up then it's on his shoulders - it might make him think twice before inviting people to stay when he has to do all the work himself

Baby blues - just don't go. You're an adult who chooses how to spend her time.

OP, you don't have to do shopping. If your DH doesn't, that's his problem. They're not going to look to the heavily pregnant wife to blame.

Yes to Lelly's solution above.

Every time I was 34 weeks pregnant I wouldn't have even entertained having overnight company. Your husband is a clueless twat. If they do come, your idiot husband has to do EVERYTHING. Meals, cleaning, entertaining, the whole enchilada. If you want to stay in bed then that's exactly what you do.