To lie to people

[champagnesky]

Is it unreasonable to lie when you can't be arsed with the truth?

I lie a lot. How bad is it really?

Depends on what your lying about?

I lie to my mother constantly. Only because I can't stand the judgement or the sniffs of disapproval

What are you lying about and to whom?

Why are you lying? Bored, anxiety or shame?

It's bad when it becomes a habit and you will likely be caught out eventually. . People will have no trust /faith /respect for you. . And your self worth will likely plummet. .
Being truthful is better unless it's over use of the truth and you go around telling people they are fat /spotty /have a huge nose!!

lie by omission?
White lie?
will it effect them?

I couldn't be bothered to keep up with a lie, it's hard work. What's the point?

My ex habitually lies, even stuff that there's no need. People don't believe a word he says and treat him with contempt.

Depends on what you're lying about really.

There is a psychometric test that tests whether you are an inveterate liar. One of the questions is something like, "do you sometimes lie about small things to people close to you". If you answer "no" that is considered a fairly good indicator that you ARE a liar. Because EVERYONE lies about small things to some people.

However, if you find yourself lying about bigger things, sticking to lies when the other person needs/wants to know, wanting to lie a lot or it makes things difficult for you or others... you may have an issue.

"How are you?"
Truth: "I'm terrible. I have my period. I've been awake all night. I had an argument with my partner. I might lose my job. I've just had a cry in the loo"
Lie: "Fine thanks, you?"

I lie a lot like this Not because I am any of those things. I just can't be bothered to have a conversation about stuff like that.

It depends what you're lying about and to whom. Almost everyone tells lies occasionally (e.g. to avoid hurting someone's feelings).

But if you're lying about a lot of things for no real reason, I think it's a problem. My exh lied continuously about both big and small things, it gets tiring for everyone else after a while and tends to destroy people's trust in you. Most liars also fail to keep their lies straight, which can lead to additional problems (not to mention being embarrassing). If this is the sort of lying you're doing, it will probably cost you relationships, friendships, and jobs in the medium to long-term.

It depends what you're lying about, who you're lying to and why you're lying. What sort of truths can you not be arsed with?

If you 'can't be arsed' to tell the truth in response to simple, harmless, non-intrusive questions and habitually make up lies for no good reason, you might have a compulsive lying problem. But if it's more a case of something like people asking you (for example) why you split up with someone and you don't want to explain that they cheated on you or you cheated on them or they hit you or someone had a drug problem, then the simple lie of 'Oh, we just grew apart really' is pretty harmless and understandable.

I try very very hard to never lie.

I have occasionally been known to obfuscate or deflect when someone is rudely pressing for an answer which is none of their business though.

Isn't lying all the time difficult? Don't you get confused about what you've said to whom?

Never, Ben

A lot of the time I feel I need to lie in order to have things to talk about. Then I lie a lot to husband to stop him getting pissed off. Its never anything massive. But that in itself is weird I suppose!

My mother lied all the time. It's damaging and problematic and people close to you will know the tyou are lying and will respect you less and listen to you less. If you have problems in your marriage that mean you have to lie to prevent him getting pissed off, you have serious relationship issues you should consider dealing with.

I also don't understand lying so you have something to talk about? What does that even mean? Most of my conversations with people are either about day to day boring things (I couldn't believe how much cheaper certain things at Lidle were than Sainsbury's), my opinions and thoughts on issues of the day (no point lying there). So I am not sure how I could make up stuff in order to have things to talk about.

Op, I'd rather a thief than a liar, you know not to trust a thief.

You are a liar. Simple as that. I have no time for liars.

What happens when you get found out?

Integrity is massively important to me, I value my own integrity and I don't trust those who don't value theirs. If someone has shown themselves to be dishonest then it really affects how much I can trust them. Especially over small things. How can you trust someone who doesn't value smeone enough to be honest?

I realise my views are probably old fashioned and out of date. I know very few people who value honesty these days. But that's how I feel. Such a shame when values and morals go out of fashion.

I know a compulsive liar and a loath him, I literally can not trust a single thing he says as he will lie, he lies about pointless things like what he ate last night, stuff that there is no need to lie about at all.

I don't like lying, the occasional white lie to save someone's feelings I understand to constantly lie is a problem, and one that people get sick of very quickly.

Give me a polite liar over an honest arsehole every time. People who make a big deal out of their own 'honesty' are always the most judgemental, critical and fucking rude, and self-righteous about it.

It's fine to lie to nosy strangers about anything and everything. It's fine to lie over unimportant things when the truth would cause more trouble. Also, when it comes to lying about your opinion (does this cake taste nice, do I look like Peppa Pig in this dress, is my poem good?) then politeness over honesty is the right option every time.

Nobody is perfect but IMHO it's best to tell the truth where ever possible, gotta try and be true to yourself at least. If someone lies to me it puts me off them and I try to steer clear in the future.
You may think you're getting away with all these lies but in most cases people can sense the BS.

Reaninamted - that's a very broad and sweeping statement to make. Because I value my honesty it means I must "always" be judgemental, critical, "fucking rude" and self-righteous? 😂

Herschellmum I'm the same as you. I value integrity above all else, along with fidelity. I am trying to bring my kids up to tell the truth, and to instil in them a sense of responsibility in admitting their mistakes and having the courage to do so. It's hard in today's world when they see so many of their peers lying their way out of trouble.
Dishonesty is one of the most insidious traits, unchecked it can seep into all corners of life and you end up either disbelieving everything or wondering if you're going mad.

Reanimated I do agree with you about politeness trumping rude honesty in opinion based questions though...

Can you give examples of the lies that you tell?

It's a bit of a vague post!