I'm thinking you don't need to wish someone 'happy anniversary'?

[finderkeeper]

Every year my batshit crazy sister in law has a tantrum or passive aggressive rant on social media about how not everybody has wished her and my brother 'happy anniversary.'

When did it become a thing that we all had to wish each other happy anniversary? Mine matters to dh and I, and I can see how you'd like a 'happy anniversary' from your kids on a big one like 30 or whatever but really? A tantrum because not everyone fills your timeline for your 3rd wedding anniversary?

Or am I socially inept and everyone actually does make a big deal of each other's anniversaries?

And actually dh and I both forgot OURS this year!

YANBU.

Yanbu. Attention seeking nonsense.

Yanbu. Anniversaries only matter to the couple involved.

Yanbu!

I mean if I see someone and they say 'oh it's our anniversary today' of course I say 'happy anniversary' 'how long?' 'Well done' blah blah but cards and gushy social media declarations seem ott.

Plus I wish he'd not married the mad bitch so feel it would be hypocritical anyway

Agreed. Wedding anniversaries are for you and DP

She's a twat, ignore her.

YANBU! After the first anniversary where a few people close to you may remember, therebis zero social expectation for anyone but you (the anniversary holder) to give a shit!

My in laws (who I love to pieces) genuinely expect a card from my husband and his sister- A CARD!!!! They weren't even born when their parents got married so who gives a shit?!!

If it's a big anniversary that they have actively let people know about then fair enough, but other than that it's ridiculous!

This year's was "thanks for those of you who took the time out to wish us happy anniversary. Meant alot to us that some of you bothered."

Ffs.

YANBU and I have experienced the same rant from family members. I don't understand why anyone would want to be wished a happy anniversary from anyone other than their spouse!

It's bang out of order for your SIL to bang on about it, but IMO it is kind to acknowledge someone close's anniversary and show you are happy for them. Marriage is frequently bloody hard work. Keeping one going successfully is worthy of celebration. I probably didn't think like this myself until married a while!

It's bloody hard work for my brother that's for sure. I should actually send him a medal every year. 😂😂😂

Some people need to get over themselves.

And neither of them have ever ever sent me a birthday or Christmas card. 😂

I'm on the opposite side of this in a way. Every year a host of in laws send us anniversary cards. It's very sweet, but WHY??

Wedding anniversaries are one thing (though I agree that they are for the couple concerned, not all and sundry) Even worse if it's one of those stupid 'dating' anniversaries

YANBU. I think anniversaries only matter to the couple (except perhaps big ones...25, 40, 50 60...). My DH's family are the opposite though and like your SIL expect annual plaudits. I don't understand it.

Mil and TwatFil asked what we were planning this weekend when they were over yesterday. We looked at each other like and said, IKEA maybe? It was only when Mil said no for your anniversary! That we twigged.

(Its still IKEA. Maybe a curry too if we remember).

My family don't bother, DH's parents do and we fall somewhere in the middle.

YANBU. It's polite to wish someone a happy anniversary if they happen to mention it, obviously, but that's it. It's not like a birthday. Anniversaries are really just between the actual couple - unless it's a special one like silver/golden or whatever, in which case you'd expect an acknowledgment from your kids or you might have a party or something. I don't think most people have any expectation that you make a big fuss about anniversaries otherwise. Your SIL sounds mad.

that said, i really think that when it comes to people you love then what matters to them should matter to you. so i give my parents something on mother and fathers day. give them cards. because it matters to them.

I totally agree with the above.

Also I don't understand how people proudly say "i never remember my own" how can you not? I mean we don't do anything major, occasionally a meal out and sometimes a card but we always know when it is. Do people (the ones who are still happily married) really not remember the date they got married?

I haven't been to IKEA or had a decent curry in over 5 years so that sounds like an amazing anniversary!!

In that case OP tell her the anniversary card is with your birthday card 😎

I think (oddly) a thing amongst some families, I know a family that all send each other anniversary cards - so to/from Mum & Dad, and siblings. Our family however don't, and I don't actually remember my sisters even though it is the same day as mine!