I'm thinking you don't need to wish someone 'happy anniversary'?

[finderkeeper]

Every year my batshit crazy sister in law has a tantrum or passive aggressive rant on social media about how not everybody has wished her and my brother 'happy anniversary.'

When did it become a thing that we all had to wish each other happy anniversary? Mine matters to dh and I, and I can see how you'd like a 'happy anniversary' from your kids on a big one like 30 or whatever but really? A tantrum because not everyone fills your timeline for your 3rd wedding anniversary?

Or am I socially inept and everyone actually does make a big deal of each other's anniversaries?

Has she ever wished you a happy anniversary?

And neither of them have ever ever sent me a birthday or Christmas card. 😂 You are kidding? OK. I retract my opinion about trying to be kind. Sod them!

We forgot. We're so bloody busy we're lucky we remember ds's birthday!

My god I hate this. Me and dh will have been married 14 years this September the erm....27th? It's touch and go whether we remember it. I can't imagine why anyone else would.

It's ego-centric in the extreme. My SIL sends cards for everything and posts about 10 times a day when it's her wedding anniversary. Often her and BIL talk to each other over Facebook when they're in the same house! It's show-off lovey-dovey romantic nonsense. I wish they'd keep it private.

She's never wished me happy anniversary. You have to laugh!

YANBU, it's a private thing. Nobody else besides you and your partner give a flying turd on which day you were married

@finderkeeper It's only Wednesday. Plans may change. It could end up being Argos and McDonalds...

No honestly, I really got some reason can't totally remember the date I got married. Mind you, I sometimes have to think twice about my own birthday.

It's not that I'm not happily married. Sometimes one of us remembers, sometimes we both remember and sometimes we both forget.

Yes, that really is attention seeking behaviour, totally ridiculous. Unless it's a major anniversary, like 25 years, it really only matters to the couple concerned.

I like to make my own comment on Facebook, there are a few messages in reply, then everyone moves on.

YANBU op. A perspective from someone who celebrates gpil anniversary and pil anniversaries. Ever since I met my DH we have given cards and gifts on the wedding anniversaries and it's because as a couple I really really like them and also think longevity in marriage is something that absolutely should be recognised and celebrated in what seems to be a throw away society. Not that divorcees have done anything wrong obviously. Perhaps your sil has a family/friends that make quite a big deal out of anniversaries so she finds it odd that you and her inlaws don't mention it?

YANBU as you I always wish colleagues or friends well if they say it's their anniversary, but sm gushing is probably false anyway.

Marriage is frequently bloody hard work. Keeping one going successfully is worthy of celebration

1. Yes, worthy of celebration for you two as a couple. It's not really anything to do with anyone else, though.
2. Plenty of people don't find marriage hard work at all and just roll along harmoniously with barely a cross word. Do we not have to acknowledge their anniversaries then, because they didn't have to put so much effort into not dumping each other?
3. What about people who have been living together for decades but aren't married? They don't have their relationship milestones celebrated formally by anyone. Why do you think special treatment is in order because you put rings on each other's fingers?

YANBU...I forgot ours this year (for the first time in 19 years!).....

Yanbu...what a selfy little madam.

First lesson....

Step away from BookFace etc. It is so toxic, judging by its impact on so many people here. And sometimes it is an outlet for people to rant who have nothing better to do. Me Me Me. yuk.

I have no accounts on SM apart from here and one or two other niche boards attached to my interests. So liberating.

My family is lovely. Just to mention that. Staying off SM has freed me from so much crap.

I forget what the second lesson was!

Happy Anniversary from me OP whenever it is.

My aunt is like this she once went on an epic rant because nobody got her and her husband gifts on her anniversary, she posts reminders on Facebook for about a month on the run up to it.

My dad purposely sends a card for the wrong date every year, just picks a random day each year

YANBU. There are no words

I can't step away from Facebook because DH and I both need FB to tell us when our anniversary is. Without FB congratulating us, we'd be none the wiser.

PILs, who are absolutely lovely people, have always made a huge deal about their wedding anniversary and yes, they do expect cards. I've never understood it.

I think I may come off fb and other sm. it mostly makes me annoyed/sad.

Hassled,

that is funny about FB reminding you of your anniversary! I love tongue in cheek comments like that.

I don't know when my sister's aniversary is. I mean, I remember they got married in the middle of August, but I couldn't tell you the date. We don't do cards or any other big celebration in our family.

finderkeeper so did we! (Only married 8 years). Didn't realise until SIL text to wish us happy anniversary. MIL does it too, she reminded us the day before it last year! I don't get it. I don't know or care when anyone else's is either!

I usually send my parents a card/flowers on theirs. They've been together once 30 years and have had some really tough shit to deal with. I think they're testament to the hard work marriage can be, so I think they deserve it!

Passive aggressive FB statuses however are - would avoid wishing them a happy anniversary on a point of principle!

anecdoche I only know how many years by adding a year to youngest's age!