Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put my four elderly cats to sleep even though they are not dying?

427 replies

Turningtiger · 30/08/2017 16:11

DH lost his job and we've had to move to a cheaper area of the city we live in. The house we have found to accommodate our family and within our price range does not allow pets. We will also probably have to move abroad next year because most of the jobs that DH can get are in Europe.

We have gone through periods of boarding our cats while we have been looking for somewhere new to live and all the turmoil it has brought about. It has been expensive boarding as each cat has a different health condition which needs a lot of attention, giving meds, vet visits etc, so we've had to pay extra for the very kind lady at the boarding to do that too.

I have volunteered for animal rescues in our area for 20 years, and I know what pressure they are under. I know that most people abandon their animals without a second look, and if they do make a donation to the shelter before they disappear, it's usually just enough to cover the initial vaccinations and perhaps a spay. I've also had these cats so long that I don't feel I could trust someone else to look after them in a way that they wouldn't suffer. I know that doesn't sound rational, but I've just had them for so long, I know them so well.

There is also an element for me of feeling terribly embarrassed, after all these years of volunteering and donating, to present the same story as everyone else who we have rolled our eyes at over the years. In the "rescue" world I volunteer in, there is no excuse to abandon your animals.

I am temped now to put them down, so that I can know that they had a fantastic life and that they did not suffer. It will save me a lot of anxiety (yes I'm aware I am thinking about me). I know also that this doesn't sound rational either. But to me it feels like the right thing.

What do you think? The cats are all 16 from the same litter.

OP posts:
maxthemartian · 30/08/2017 18:55

If they have always been together then it seems kinder for them to all go together.
At 16 years and with various ailments, attempting to rehome would mean at best an uncertain and at worst a distressing future for them. I can't imagine that any rescue would manage to rehome the four of them together.
Theyve had a fairly good innings and presumably a happy, loved life with you.
Putting them down would be the closest to a happy ending you can give them.

I feel for you though. It's going to hurt you but it's to spare them the pain.
You've got a lot of stressful stuff going on by the sound of it, I hope it gets easier for you.

Mittens1969 · 30/08/2017 18:56

I was haunted by having to put my lovely cat to sleep but there really wasn't any other option. She wasn't well enough to be rehomed, and I couldn't keep her at our house because she found it too stressful. The vet reassured me that I was making the right decision but she'd been my faithful companion for so long.

RhiWrites · 30/08/2017 18:57

My cat is 19, three years older than your OP. She has stage 2 renal failure. But she loves her life. I couldn't do it.

Your reasons seem to be that they might be departed and wouldn't get a lot of strokes in a shelter. But they could also be adopted by someone lovely. I think they should get the chance.

AllToadsLeadToHome · 30/08/2017 18:57

There are sanctuaries that take unhomeable pets and let them live out their lives.
I have supported one for 12 years, and seen many animals newly arrived of all ages and in various states of health. They stay until they pass away and are loved and cared for to the end.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 30/08/2017 18:59

Husband and I are 58 and 63 respectively. We have always had cats and know that if and when the current 3 eventually die we will almost certainly get another cat or cats. But it is possible that this won't happen for at least another 5 years, possibly 10.

We would be very happy to take an older cat as we would not want a kitten to outlive us and be left behind. As we get older this will be even more the case.

Aeroflotgirl · 30/08/2017 19:01

If you really really cannot find pet friendly accommodation and have no choice, than I would look for one of those sanctuaries that take in sick pets, or Cats protection league. If not, PTS is the last resort, considering they are at the end of their life.

TeaChest100 · 30/08/2017 19:02

I think you should have this conversation with your vet OP. It does sound to me like a reasonable position to take given their age, health history, and the fact they've never been separated.

mydogisthebest · 30/08/2017 19:06

Lyin, where exactly are all the posts saying "I would if I could but"? Quite a few posters, myself included, have said we may be able to help. The OP has been asked what the health issues are and where in the UK she is.

Steely, not that I see the relevance but I am vegetarian as is DH and we have been for over 30 years. I also do not wear leather or use leather handbags or purses. Is that ok with you?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 30/08/2017 19:11

mydog, there are a few. I paraphrased because I didn't want to quote anybody given that they're being well-meaning in giving OP another option to think about but if they can't help then it's just twisting the knife a bit.

Frouby · 30/08/2017 19:12

In your shoes OP I would absolutely PTS. It's not a selfish act, it's an act of love. The final kind thing you can do for your pet.

I had dpony pts in June for similar reasons. She had a couple of lifelong conditions that were only going to get worse with age. She was requiring more care than I could realistically provide. And was beginning to get very expensive to keep out of pain.

I could have kept her going for probably another 3 or 4 years but there does come a point when you have to make that decision. If our circumstances were different and I could have had her at home and care for her and check her every few hours every day it would have been a lot easier to give her those extra couple of days.

As it was she went with the sun on her back, at home with people she knew and trusted around her. I have absolutely no regrets and she had a lovely life.

Don't let anyone tell you any different. It's not the length of the life that matters. It's the quality that matters.

SteelyTesticlesOfObjectivity · 30/08/2017 19:12

Steely, not that I see the relevance but I am vegetarian as is DH and we have been for over 30 years. I also do not wear leather or use leather handbags or purses. Is that ok with you?

Strange you can't see the relevance

BertrandRussell · 30/08/2017 19:13

"Where are posters suggesting the cats be treated cruelly?"

All the posters who are talking about uprooting 4 elderly cats and putting them for an indefinite time in a shelter where they will be parted from everyone and everything familiar. Those are the people suggesting the cats should be treated cruelly.

LineysRun · 30/08/2017 19:14

I'll take them all in. I'm a great cat owner.

Ivymaud · 30/08/2017 19:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 30/08/2017 19:16

All the posters who are talking about uprooting 4 elderly cats and putting them for an indefinite time in a shelter where they will be parted from everyone and everything familiar. Those are the people suggesting the cats should be treated cruelly

The Cats Protection League use fostering. The cats we got from them were fostered not in a shelter.

Ivymaud · 30/08/2017 19:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

13bastards · 30/08/2017 19:19

The fact you are hiding behind posting it on here rather than openly telling people in the rescue centres you volunteer at is because you know you're being incredibly unreasonable.

People like you disgust me.

Mia184 · 30/08/2017 19:22

13bastards I absolutely agree wih you.

Mia184 · 30/08/2017 19:23

*with

imjessie · 30/08/2017 19:24

Frouby as I said above , I've known quite a few people do that . It is exactly that , the last act of kindness . My elderly cat ( who died recently at 19) thought I was his mum.. I going him and his brother at a few weeks old ) and would have been totally distraught and confused without me . I absolutely would have said goodbye to him in kindness rather than never know what happened to him .. I had my pony until she was 37. She cost me a fortune in full livery but I could afford it so I did . I always said if I couldn't I would have her pts .. old animals are not desirable and cost money . I wouldn't take the risk someone would care for them like I did !

LineysRun · 30/08/2017 19:27

There's four of them though, apparently.

alltoomuchrightnow · 30/08/2017 19:28

What AbiMichelle said. This is shameful. I can't believe I'm reading this.

And yes, vets will put down healthy animals, I've worked for two that did, and it still haunts me.

MsJudgemental · 30/08/2017 19:28

Just out of interest, why are you always moving? If the cats don't fit in with your lifestyle, maybe you should have sorted out alternative accommodation sooner?

MariaWaria · 30/08/2017 19:29

I understand where you are coming from OP.

But could you put aside your embarrassment and discuss your situation with people you know well at the animal shelter?

tehmina23 · 30/08/2017 19:30

I hate these kind of threads.

Anyway my view is that a pet is for life, my rescue cat has behavioural issues & would have been pts if I hadn't adopted her.
I would live with her anywhere even in a tent if it meant being able to stay together.

But then I don't have children so my cat is very important to me.

All I know is that when my old cat was pts (end stage kidney disease) she struggled with the vet as he gave her the injection and it was really upsetting because as ill as she was, she still had that spark of life in her.

I don't think any animal should be killed unless they are so poorly they are in pain.