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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should we have paid for it?

74 replies

ivenoideawhatimdoing · 30/08/2017 11:22

We have just forked out £200 to mend MIL's iPad that DS(1) dropped and the screen smashed.

We were round at MIL's over the weekend and she gave DS her iPad to play with. We took it off him a couple of times and put it on the side because he wasn't really interested in it and he kept leaving it next to him on the settee and then climbing down and it edging toward the end of the sofa and we didn't want it to drop.

Each time she gave it him back, as in, handed it to him. He dropped it once and luckily it didn't break, at which point I said, 'MIL I really don't want it to get broken, it's very kind but he's alright.' She agreed at put it on the side. DH and I were in the kitchen doing the dishes after dinner whilst MIL was in the front room with DS.

We heard her shout 'DS, no! You silly boy!' Went in and lo and behold, the iPad had smashed after she had given it back to him and he had dropped it. She sulked about it and kept repeating 'he shouldn't have nice things if he can't look after them.' DH told her that it was her own fault for keeping to give it him after we told her not to repeatedly but sent her the money to get it fixed anyway.

Ever since, I keep justifying it in my head thinking it wasn't our responsibility. Granted our child broke it and we would never have not paid but she gave a one year old an iPad to carry, what was she thinking would happen? AIBU? More than open to be told I am.

OP posts:
nocake · 30/08/2017 11:25

If you asked her not to give it to him then she has to take responsibility for what happens.

midnightflowers · 30/08/2017 11:26

I wouldn't of paid for it.
If she kept handing it back to your ds then it's her own fault it got broken imo

stretch · 30/08/2017 11:28

Wait, he's ONE?! Stupid woman to have given it him in the first place. Not nice to shout "silly boy" at him either. It's not his fucking fault. He can't tell the difference between expensive gadget and one of his toys. I wouldn't have paid. 😠

Seeline · 30/08/2017 11:30

I wouldn't have paid either.
You had removed it repeatedly after he was given it (not taken it) and you had told MIL not to give it to him - her fault entirely.

GeillisTheWitch · 30/08/2017 11:30

He's 1 and had already dropped it once? She's an idiot and I would have had words with her about taking responsibility for her own stuff and not shouting at a baby when the inevitable happens.

ChasedByBees · 30/08/2017 11:30

Not your fault at all.

Mrscropley · 30/08/2017 11:30

No way would I have paid!!

Pengggwn · 30/08/2017 11:30

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissionItsPossible · 30/08/2017 11:31

What on earth is a one year old doing with an ipad? (I'm putting that to her, not to you)

Maelstrop · 30/08/2017 11:31

You told her no yet she gave it back to him? Why did you pay for it?? It was her stupid fault. I think it was wrong of you to pay for it.

Idontevencareanymore · 30/08/2017 11:33

I wouldn't have paid. Not after multiple times of giving it back!
Sure it wasnt already broken and she's got a free fix by blaming the child?

ikeadyounot · 30/08/2017 11:39

I think you did a lovely thing paying for it, but I would use this constantly in future: "MIL, please remember what happened to the Ipad, and don't give DS x to play with. If he breaks it, we aren't responsible".

AJPTaylor · 30/08/2017 11:39

He is 1?
You would have been entirely justified in not paying
Altough the greif avoided prob worth the 200 quid

ivenoideawhatimdoing · 30/08/2017 11:39

It's nice to know it's not just me!

We paid it because she's skint and wouldn't have been able to get it mended otherwise and she tried to make us feel awful.

The shouting was for dramatic effect. DS is completely deaf and in the 18 months he has been alive, she has not bothered to learn a single sign. That's for a different thread though!

OP posts:
Quartz2208 · 30/08/2017 11:41

No it was her ipad and her responsibility, she gave it to him whilst she was in charge it was her fault.

PeaFaceMcgee · 30/08/2017 11:42

Why the hell did you pay for it? Stupid MIL

notanurse2017 · 30/08/2017 11:42

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Madwoman5 · 30/08/2017 11:42

She may be cross but she gave a £400 piece of technology to a one year old under HER supervision and she accepted payment for the ensuing damage? Your DH was kind to send it but she should not have accepted it. Stupid woman.

PeaFaceMcgee · 30/08/2017 11:43

Cross-post - tough tits if she's skint. She sounds revolting.

PeaFaceMcgee · 30/08/2017 11:44

I think it's even worse that she's shouting abuse at a deaf baby. Utter shit.

KitKat1985 · 30/08/2017 11:47

YANBU. It was her fault for giving it to him when it was pretty obvious there was a good chance it was going to get broken, as obviously an 18 month old doesn't understand that it's breakable and valuable.

4691IrradiatedHaggis · 30/08/2017 11:48

Not a chance. You took it off him, you warned her it would get broken. If she wants to give expensive electronics to a small child, it's her problem if they get smashed, not yours.

This. You repeatedly took it off him, and she kept giving it back? Sorry but she's an idiot. Maybe now she'll realise 1 year olds and Ipads don't mix (although any sane person should know that already)

lottiegarbanzo · 30/08/2017 11:48

Fantasy advice would be to repeat back to her 'I agree, you shouldn't have nice things if you can't look after them MIL'.

Petty but there's a serious point there - about not choosing to own things you can't afford to repair - as well as the idiocy of giving it to your DS.

ClemDanfango · 30/08/2017 11:49

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Agerbilatemycardigan · 30/08/2017 11:52

Bless him. She sounds utterly horrible. She probably dropped it herself and then tried to blame your DS. The shouting was for show IMO.