AIBU - OH not taking responsibility!!

[BabyAndBunny]

Backstory: my OH went to get our teething baby (nearly 5 months old) Calpol from the kitchen.

He was going to give it to him and I noticed he'd got 5ml not 2.5ml in those mouth syringe things you get!

I asked what he was doing and he said he thought that was the amount! And had given 5ml two nights ago!

I've since called NHS direct and been told not to panic and we would have seen any reaction by now etc etc.

Anyway - I completely blew my lid but mostly because his reaction was 'why are you being so dramatic'/ 'it's completely fine'/ 'it's only paracetamol' etc etc - just a bunch of rubbish, basically saying it's not a big deal and doesn't really matter!

That's the thing that really pevved me off! If he had been horrified he'd double dosed his son rather than shocked that I was so worried and convinced it didn't matter I would have been fine! I know mistakes happen and it's okay but really it's the attitude!

How can you not feel bad/concerned?! It's just him not wanting to take any responsibility!

Now I'm upstairs in a pitch black room with a sleeping baby and he's downstairs - AIBU to be so angry that he doesn't want to admit he'd made a mistake and just wants to force that it doesn't really matter onto me?!

It's not a big deal, you're over-reacting.

He is probably minimising because you are going so far over the top about it. If you were more rational and less accusing he probably would be more reasonable as well.

I personally don't think it's any big thing. In this instance you are the one being unreasonable to be so angry. Is there a bigger picture?

Getting cross with him that he's not bothered by giving double dosage of medication to a baby is not overreacting!

It shows he didn't read the instructions and isn't bothered about the consequences enough to admit it. It gives the impression that he can't be trusted or doesn't care neither are good options.

Calm down. You are going completely over the top here. OK, he got it wrong. But you're really not helping.

And calpol dosage is way fee what's 'safe' anyway.

Medical dose is 15mcg per kilo. Work out what your child can have....it's normally more than the dosage says.

He's not bothered because it's fairly common sense that if it happened two nights ago and something bad was going to happen, it would have happened by now. It was a mistake and if you hadn't flipped at him he probably would have apologised - tbh I wouldn't apologise for a minor accident that had luckily had no consequences if someone was reacting the way you were.

I'd be pissed too. Are all doses of medication nonsense? Perhaps next time he's on antibiotics he can do the prescription label himself?

We all make mistakes sometimes but we usually admit to them apologise and vow to double check better next time .

If he can't be arsed to take 2 seconds to read a bottle then what else will he not be arsed to do?

Over-reaction on your part imo.

What did you expect your DH to do - fall at your feet and beg forgiveness ???

Obviously not a great idea for him to be giving the wrong dose. However calling 111 for something that happened 2 days ago was overreacting.
Are you saying you're upstairs because you've fallen out with him?
Best thing would be to wait til you're calm and talk about what happened and why you were concerned, and explain the importance of giving correct doses.

She wants him to care!

And to realise it's always important to read instructions.

If he's had him all day and had given him the standard doses every 4 hours that were double the dose then that would he a significant amount of calpol more than he should have had.

And that could well have happens if shed not caught him.

You shouldn't have to babysit another capable adult like that

Do calm down dear. What were you expecting? A grovelling apology.

So, you just want him to admit to you that he made a mistake and you'll all be able to move on?

Out of interest, will you show this thread to him, whatever the majority of posters say?

it's fairly common sense that if it happened two nights ago and something bad was going to happen, it would have happened by now.

Actually that is very very very bad advice when it comes to paracetamol. Overdosing paracetamol won't show any effect until the kidneys start to malfunction which takes a few days. By then its too late. Anything else I'd agree, but please please please do not ignore a potential paracetamol overdose because the person seems fine after a day or two.

I'd say he's pissed off with the kind of attitude that some of you are stating here: as if he is some kind of babysitter that needs to answer to an apologise to the "real parent" ie the mother.

I've made a similar mistake before, if OH has "blown his lid" at me about it I would have told him to go fuck himself.

He could be more aware of the instructions instead of assuming that a 5ml dosage is to be used for all ages but it does sound like you are going a bit ott with your reaction. Nothing bad came of it, perhaps calmly explain why you are upset instead of 'blowing your lid'.

I think you overreacted tbh. He already knew it hadn't done any damage so why go mad? I'd have been annoyed that he hadn't checked the dosage but that's it. Would he have lost it with you if the roles were reverse

Fwiw my DD gobbled half a bottle when she was 2. She climbed up and snatched it off the counter, got the lid off(???) and downed it. We were frantic but the GP said to let her sleep it off and keep an eye on her (really!). She was out cold for 4 hours. So your DH's parenting fail isn't too terrible.

You're over reacting but it doesn't really take much to read the label, hopefully he'll learn from it. No harm done though so time to let it go I think.

Maybe if you calmed down he wouldnt be on the defensive.

People fuck up. There have been threads from mothers who have done this and usually get sympathy.

People want dads to step up to the plate and be equal parents, while reminding them that they arent

A woman posting this would not have got any shit.

Maybe calm down. Losing your shit isnt helping or changing anything.

You called the NHS because your DC got 2.5ml too much Calpol 48 hours ago? I'm not surprised your DH has gone to the other extreme to minimise what he did.

You would probably have made more impact by calmly talking to him about the importance of double-checking dosages, rather than acting like he was trying to poison your baby.

YABU

You are correct to be angry at your DH. Just a small overdose of paracetamol can cause the kidneys to malfunction and can cause death.

Unless he can convince you that he'll be more careful in future, I suggest a blanket ban on him giving your DS medicines of any description.

For reference my DD is 8 so has had many many doses of calpol over the years. Despite this, I check and double check the dose every time I administer medicine.

My middle DD drank half a bottle of Calpol once, because XH had left it within reach with the lid off. He took her to A&E where she had blood tests to check how much she'd had (we couldn't be sure how much had been in the bottle v how much was gone). It was entirely his fault, he'd left the bottle, hadn't put the lid back on...but he didn't apologise. Or do anything much really. But I KNEW he felt bad about it, he just didn't want to be seen to be the bad guy or admit what he'd done.

I didn't push the matter. I knew he felt awful enough. And he was never the kind of man who would admit his mistakes so I'd have been daft to expect any kind of sign of contrition.

ust a small overdose of paracetamol can cause the kidneys to malfunction and can cause death

Not true. Please don't repeat this shit, you are scaremongering and it's totally irresponsible.

Damn the NHS, scaremongering again:

liver and kidney damage, if you take too much (overdose) – this can be fatal in severe cases