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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Crowdfunding for a new car? Seriously?!

92 replies

iammargesimpson · 28/08/2017 11:35

So an acquaintance of mine 's car died and a crowdfunding page has been set up to buy her a new one...I'm gobsmacked!! She doesn't work, has two primary school-age children, lone parent. Now I understand what it's like when you're faced with sudden and very large expenses (my car died suddenly about a year ago) but crowdfunding for a new car?! Has the world gone mad or am I alone in thinking this is just??? Words fail me they really do

OP posts:
Lweji · 28/08/2017 13:05

She didn't even ask. Her friends probably thought it would be a good idea to set it up to help her.

TeachesOfPeaches · 28/08/2017 13:12

What a rude thread. Your 'friend' didn't even know about it. Some people are very generous and like to help others and that is their choice.

Has she asked you to buy her a car?

AlmostAJillSandwich · 28/08/2017 13:24

Without a car, im unable to leave the house because of both physical and mental illness. I can't walk even the half mile to the shopping precinct near my house. As for anything further afield, due to severe urgency issues with both my bladder and my bowel, i can't rely on the waiting time for a taxi or bus to show up, nor the actual journey time with regard to buses. When i need to get home, it has to be NOW. I'm also very wary of public transport for all the stories i've heard of people wetting/shitting themselves when in them drunk. Plus people having incontinence issues in general, i don't like sitting on seats strangers have sat on.
So yes, a car can be absolutely essential, even if you live in the middle of a city with everything within walking distance for a regular person.
It's just me, my dad, and my also mentally ill sister who lives in assisted living flats elsehwere but also needs my dad to take her everywhere. My dad has been my full time carer for 11 years and my mum, who was the sole earner, was diagnosed terminally ill out of the blue 7 1/2 years ago and died 2 months later. We live off my disability benefit, and my dad gets carers. We're on less than minimum wage for one person between us, and have to fund a car.
We were actually at the point earlier this year our car was old, had done over 90,000 miles, and big fixes were starting to be needed, like a new clutch (cost over £1000) and we were starting to get very worried how we would replace it, when we actually got in to a car crash, completely other drivers fault, and our car got written off. I was left completely housebound by the accident and was physically quite injured, as were both my dad and sister. We were "lucky" in the way we got enough from the actual cars value and personal injury claims (genuine ones) to be able to buy a brand new car, as second hand was not an option due to not knowing the hygiene practices of previous owners or if they had any "accidents" in it etc.

There's absolutely no way we could have ever afforded to replace it if we hadn't had the accident. As such, i would never judge someone crowd funding for a car, because i understand how vital it can be for some people to have one. A holiday no way would i donate, but if i was close to payday and could afford a fiver and the person genuinely needed the car, i'd donate.

gillybeanz · 28/08/2017 13:36

I'm going to set one up for dd for her study and living costs.
Chances are she'll end up in London, then America.
There is no way we can afford it and the debt would be enormous if she took it on herself, and at least 5 years study.
People won't have to donate if they don't want to.

How to you publicise it anyway?
I've never seen one before, but haven't really gone looking.

nina2b · 28/08/2017 13:43

Good God. Some people are truly shameless.

nina2b · 28/08/2017 13:44

Anyone asking other people to pay for something you want is just utterly awful.

GinnyWreckin · 28/08/2017 13:48

She should wait for Santa like the rest of us, eh? Wink

Maybe she kisses frogs too? And tries on crystal slippers for size?

Honestly, I wouldn't stress about it. She's made her choices in life, you've made yours. Live and let live.

jobergamot · 28/08/2017 13:49

I kind of admire the gall of anyone who does it. I'd be way too embarrassed to do it foe myself!!!

WhamBarsArentAsFizzyAsTheyWere · 28/08/2017 13:50

Anyone asking other people to pay for something you want is just utterly awful.

Except she didnt ask. A friend set it up for her and she wasn't aware of it according to op.

tararabumdeay · 28/08/2017 13:52

It's not exactly an 88k tax dodge Range Rover she needs is it?

Our £30 scrapper/classic was written off by another driver. We got enough to buy a clean, low mileage Punto for £350 and to upgrade my Ford slightly (I need it for work) to one with many more miles but didn't need the amount spending on MOT that would have made my lovely car a scrapper too.

We're all ,always, hanging on by a thread - even if one drives an 88k Range Rover to the shops.

Janeismymiddlename · 28/08/2017 14:04

She doesn't work, has two primary school-age children, lone parent

So it's ok to ask for money if you do work, have no children and have a husband? Or if only one of a partnership works with 4 children? Or working with 2 senior school,aged children and a lone parent?

MissEDashwood · 28/08/2017 14:10

I don't know about a generation of snowflakes, but generations, sometimes people from age groups who should know better.

Something bad has happened, woe is me, here's my CF page, please donate, usually with the tagline I've 500 friends, £1 will buy you a bottle of pop, if everyone donates £1 I'd be sorted and recovering from this traumatic time.

The same as labels, ailments, the list is endless. My name is Michelle I'm bisexual, due to 'x' I suffer with 'y' life is oh but such a struggle.

If my Grandparents used social media or went to one of the many sites they would be shocked at the audacity of people.

I'm sure it's an inconvenience not having a car, but you can walk or use public transport. The whole notion seems beneath some people.

It makes me despair for humanity that this is where we're at. It can only get worse.

So to sum up YANBU - shocking.

nina2b · 28/08/2017 14:11

WhamBarsArentAsFizzyAsTheyWere

Anyone asking other people to pay for something you want is just utterly awful.

Except she didnt ask. A friend set it up for her and she wasn't aware of it according to op.

I should have made it clear: the IDEA of crowdfunding by anyone - or for anyone - is awful.

Re. OP:
If the person knows, she should ask that the gimme gimme page is closed at once.

user997799779977 · 28/08/2017 14:15

This is ad bad as someone at work who earns 400 pounds a day asking people who earn a quarter that to fund his half marathon? I happily ignored him.

wannabestressfree · 28/08/2017 14:24

@AlmostAJillSandwich you are not going to like me saying this and I decided not to private message you. I have written on several of your threads or when you have commented.

You have to sort your situation out. I am horrified your elderly father is your and your sisters carer. And for how long? You refuse testing and yet your life is so limited.

It cannot continue. And I do understand as have crohns, a colostomy, a gist. Your mental health issues have dominated your life.... please save what's left of it.

user1490465531 · 28/08/2017 14:25

charity starts at home.
I look after mine and my dd needs why the hell should I fund someone else's lifestyle.
The people that donate are mugs and if you have more money than you need give to some worthwhile registered charity.

Threenme · 28/08/2017 14:51

The thing I think is I love my best friends a lot! If I had money and they needed money I'd give it them so I cannot get worked up about this. It's not compulsory and you don't look bad if you don't so why care!

CarolinePenvenen · 28/08/2017 15:04

Not something I could do but you don’t ask, you don’t get. Some people may be in a better position and/or want to help. So what, donating isn’t compulsory. I never understand the fuss around this. Why do you care if someone else does this? I can only think there’s a little green eyed monster going on.

Originalfoogirl · 28/08/2017 15:08

The reason I put in her working situation is for context

Still not clear on what context was added by it. Seems more like an invitation to judge.

limitedperiodonly · 28/08/2017 15:15

It makes me despair for humanity that this is where we're at. It can only get worse.

Grin
Lweji · 28/08/2017 16:11

She didn't even ask.

I might post this on a loop.

IrritatedUser1960 · 28/08/2017 16:21

Disgusting, when I was a single mum I had a series of £200 cars and if they broke down and I couldn't afford to get them fixed then I had to take the bus.
Why can't she get a job while the kids are at school? I went out to work to buy my cars and made them a priority over other luxuries.

Threenme · 28/08/2017 16:52

I think calling it disgusting and despairing for humanity is a bit OTT she's not crowdfunding for crack!Confused

Lweji · 28/08/2017 17:23

Why can't she get a job while the kids are at school?

Maybe she can't. We don't know her. We don't know of her circumstances. And it's just an acquaintance for the OP.

Mivery · 28/08/2017 17:30

Man, you people are savage. "The world doesn't owe anyone anything," who ever said it did? Wasting your energy complaining about it is such a better use of your time. If you don't like it, don't donate.