Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Taking my baby to a wedding....

65 replies

Escargot82 · 27/08/2017 10:58

Posting in AIBU for traffic! Need advice on how to manage the day....

DH, myself and 9 month old baby have been summoned to a short-notice family wedding.

I wish the baby wasn't invited but the bride and groom like the baby more than they like me and are insistent that all kids must be there and dressed in fecking peach (for the photos - stick needles in my eyes now).

Here's the details:
The wedding is a casual small beach wedding (I'm in Australia). It's a bit of a hike to get there.

On Friday morning we will be driving 5 hours to the nearest airport, getting a lunchtime flight (2 hours) then jumping in a hire car to drive 4 hours to the town where the wedding is located. Spend night in a hotel.
Saturday morning the wedding "starts"? at 9.30am on the beach for photos. Ceremony at 11am. Lunch at oceanside restaurant at 1.30pm. End at 3.30pm. Escape at 3.31pm and repeat travel details in reverse.
How the hell do I keep my 9 month old from melting down by lunchtime? How do I get a nap squeezed in? Will have a small pram but obviously can't take it on the beach.

The family members getting married are a nightmare and will be deeply offended if and when I try to sneak baby off to nap (these are people who think I am selfish for breastfeeding because it's hogging the baby). Augh I don't even think any of you can give me any advice I just don't know how to handle the day. Sad

OP posts:
MsGameandWatching · 27/08/2017 11:00

I'm sorry I wouldn't go. I know that's not helpful if you feel you must though.

Brisk and don't make eye contact to see the disapproval. "Well we are off for a nap/feed/etc, see you soon!"

Allthebestnamesareused · 27/08/2017 11:01

And don't wear "peach"

expatinscotland · 27/08/2017 11:02

I have no idea how because I wouldn't travel like that for some 6 hour event no matter if it were the Pope. I wouldn't care who was offended, either.

kittybiscuits · 27/08/2017 11:02

Peach is illegal.

justilou1 · 27/08/2017 11:02

Maybe because they left it to the last minute you can't get a flight?

Glumglowworm · 27/08/2017 11:03

I wouldn't go

You don't sound like you like them anyway, and it's an awful lot of travelling with a small baby

LouHotel · 27/08/2017 11:03

You do whats right for your baby, if a nap is needed you find somewhere for the baby to nap. If they need feeding then you feed.

MaitlandGirl · 27/08/2017 11:04

I'd tell them the baby is sick so you can't go - it'll be a nightmare, and unless you're headed to QLD or the NT it'll be bloody cold on the beach that time of the morning, actually unless you'll be in the NT it'll be bloody cold!

AlpacaLypse · 27/08/2017 11:04

If you can't face the family row, vomiting and diarrhoea is your friend. Come down with it the day before.

Original poster
Escargot82 · 27/08/2017 11:05

They are my husband's dad/stepmum.

Does this change the "don't go" suggestions?

Though those comments have made me smile - we are both dreading this.

OP posts:
Redsippycup · 27/08/2017 11:06

That's a lot of time in the car seat, even if she's on your lap on the plane! I wouldn't be happy about that with my DD (also 9mo)

Wedding day itself - is a nap likely to coincide with the ceremony? That would be ideal...

Mine always falls asleep in the sling but totally understand if you can't use one with your posh outfit.

How close is the hotel to the reception? Could you go to your room with her for feeds etc to avoid people that would interfere?

Original poster
Escargot82 · 27/08/2017 11:08

@MaitlandGirl it's in QLD Sad
We'll have a hire car so I'm thinking when bub needs a nap I might need to go for a drive for a while... augh...as if a baby is going to want to be stuffed back in a carseat again.

OP posts:
chickenowner · 27/08/2017 11:08

Send your DH, you and the baby stay at home

Original poster
Escargot82 · 27/08/2017 11:10

@RedSippyCup good idea I'll take the carrier (there shall be no posh outfit here - and no fecking peach) - though I'm preparing for the worst and assuming she'll be too overstimulated with everything to fall asleep. If she napped during the ceremony though that may help...

OP posts:
Original poster
Escargot82 · 27/08/2017 11:12

@chickenowner unfortunately they are the type of people who would tell us not to bother if the baby can't come. They ate excited grandparents who don't really want anything to do with their own kids.

Oh god why did I post in AIBU? When I type all of that it's so obvious they are twats that should be cut off.

OP posts:
EsmeMargaretNoteSpelling · 27/08/2017 11:14

I think I would say the baby has come down with some vomiting bug and you couldn't possibly travel and attend a wedding. Send your husband.

EsmeMargaretNoteSpelling · 27/08/2017 11:16

Just saw your last post. What I said x2 if there is a chance they will say don't come!

scrabbler3 · 27/08/2017 11:17

You've just reminded me that my mate had a peach shell suit in the late 1980s and used to team it with a lipstick called Pecan Peach.

I completely understand that FiL wants his grandchild there, but honestly, I'd send DH on his own or leave your DC behind (if that is possible and you're comfortable with the childcare available). It won't be s pleasant experience for a baby. Your FiL and his new wife can see their grandchild some other time - stick something in the diary so that they're appeased.

SerendipityFelix · 27/08/2017 11:17

Wowza, I know that in the UK we're not use to large travel distances like people in US/Australia are but that is fecking ridiculous! 9 hours driving and 2 hours flight?!?? Twice in 2 days....NO way in hell, but especially not with a little one and to attend the wedding of people you clearly don't really care for. I'd do it for a very close friend/family member, but incorporate it into at least a week away to justify the travelling.

If you've already accepted the invite, perhaps you can all come down with vomiting & diarrhoea bug the day before.

flumpybear · 27/08/2017 11:18

I'd say too short notice and just tell your DH to go alone

Fluffycloudland77 · 27/08/2017 11:18

I'd give the tantrumming baby to the step mil to deal with.

onalongsabbatical · 27/08/2017 11:19

The family members getting married are a nightmare That's easy then, isn't it? Just say no.

MaitlandGirl · 27/08/2017 11:20

If you're in NSW you can always say bub has gone down with gasto - it's sweeping through the state at the moment and so many people have gone down with it.

I really wouldn't go - it's a very long time for your DD to be in the car seat and if they wouldn't be happy to have your husband there alone then they don't deserve your DD to be there (especially as it just sounds like it's for the photos).

dustarr73 · 27/08/2017 11:20

Peach on the beach,classy.

i would blame the baby,hes coming down with something.You cant go .blah blah blah.And leave it at that .

Mulberry72 · 27/08/2017 11:21

I wouldn't go, nor would I dress in peach either.

You don't sound as if you like them anyway, so would you really bothered if they threw a shit fit because you didn't go? I wouldn't be arsed.

Swipe left for the next trending thread