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AIBU?

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Original poster

Taking my baby to a wedding....

65 replies

Escargot82 · 27/08/2017 10:58

Posting in AIBU for traffic! Need advice on how to manage the day....

DH, myself and 9 month old baby have been summoned to a short-notice family wedding.

I wish the baby wasn't invited but the bride and groom like the baby more than they like me and are insistent that all kids must be there and dressed in fecking peach (for the photos - stick needles in my eyes now).

Here's the details:
The wedding is a casual small beach wedding (I'm in Australia). It's a bit of a hike to get there.

On Friday morning we will be driving 5 hours to the nearest airport, getting a lunchtime flight (2 hours) then jumping in a hire car to drive 4 hours to the town where the wedding is located. Spend night in a hotel.
Saturday morning the wedding "starts"? at 9.30am on the beach for photos. Ceremony at 11am. Lunch at oceanside restaurant at 1.30pm. End at 3.30pm. Escape at 3.31pm and repeat travel details in reverse.
How the hell do I keep my 9 month old from melting down by lunchtime? How do I get a nap squeezed in? Will have a small pram but obviously can't take it on the beach.

The family members getting married are a nightmare and will be deeply offended if and when I try to sneak baby off to nap (these are people who think I am selfish for breastfeeding because it's hogging the baby). Augh I don't even think any of you can give me any advice I just don't know how to handle the day. Sad

OP posts:
PovertyPain · 27/08/2017 11:21

Don't tell them you're not taking the baby. Not your fault if baby got sick an hour before you were to leave so your mum/dad stepped in and looked after baby. They'll be so wrapped up in their day you'll probably get ignored anyway. If they act like arses on the day, just leave and have a nice day out.

SerendipityFelix · 27/08/2017 11:21

X-post......I guess your FIL is kinda a close family member......doesn't sound like they actually want you there though, just want your baby for cute photos.

honeysucklejasmine · 27/08/2017 11:21

Yeah....no. Don't go.

Blondeshavemorefun · 27/08/2017 11:22

Wow 8hrs driving plus 2hr flight

Sounds horrendous

Thondont understand why you can't have buggy on the beach? When tired jiggle baby asleep.

gingerbeerd · 27/08/2017 11:22

They do sound like twats and I'd distance myself but if you've already booked I'd go to keep the peace.

Peach, however, is absolutely bloody vile (YANBU)

gunsandbanjos · 27/08/2017 11:22

Why are you trying to stop him having a meltdown, I'd let him get on with it mid ceremony preferably...

They sound entirely unreasonable and I suspect wouldn't go to all that hassle if the tables were turned?

Laiste · 27/08/2017 11:23

You're not beholden to these people! If they'll get the hump and say don't bother at all if you won't bring the baby then let them

They're idiots.

(like my mum used to say - if they told you to stick your head in the oven would you? No! Because you're a grown adult and you do what's best for you and you do what's best for the baby)

MaitlandGirl · 27/08/2017 11:23

Have you checked the weather for the weekend? It's only going to be 15C at 9am at Surfers (no idea if that's where you're headed or not) and that's too damn cold to be on the beach!

Laiste · 27/08/2017 11:24

It's 11 hours of traveling the day before the wedding and 11 hours of traveling to get home.

Bugger that with a baby. Even for the most grateful of family. Which this isn't.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 27/08/2017 11:26

Yep,, I'd go with "baby has gastro, nasty, both ends leaking like a sieve, would be disastrous. Sorry an' all".

EssentialHummus · 27/08/2017 11:26

Absolutely don't go.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 27/08/2017 11:28

Sorry, just realised my first words could be taken the wrong way - I wouldn't go to the wedding at all, but I'd give the excuse of the baby having gastro.

whinetime89 · 27/08/2017 11:29

baby comes fiwn with "gastro" nighy before you fly and sadly DH has to take one for the team and go on alone

SeaCabbage · 27/08/2017 11:29

I am assuming you can't tell the truth so I would go with the baby having a vomiting bug and none of you can go.

It sounds utterly utterly horrendous.

and they don't like you anyway, so what's to gain?

MissHavishamsleftdaffodil · 27/08/2017 11:29

peach on the beach Grin

I agree that a sudden bout of gastro for you and the baby (and dh if he's feeling in need of you being highly contagious) is just suddenly going to strike about 24 hours before you need to leave.

Drat. What a shame. But obviously no one needs you and baby upchucking colours that won't match the colour scheme.

That would be a heck of a journey for you and the baby to go through even if you were going to have a fabulous time once you got there to make up for it. If it's going to be that trek for a day of peach beach misery..........?

Glumglowworm · 27/08/2017 11:32

I still wouldn't go. Send DH alone if he feels too guilty to not attend. And I agree with all the previous suggestions of telling them baby has come down with d&v

Original poster
Escargot82 · 27/08/2017 11:32

MN I think I love you and your unanimous response on this one. DH is strongly leaning towards no.

I feel it's necessary to mention we were cut off from his mother and her husband 5 years ago because we couldn't travel a similar distance for the funeral of a great-aunt my DH hadn't seen since childhood.

Bit of a pattern here.

Also I can't recall who asked why we can't take buggy on the beach - the one I'd be flying with has small wheels and that + deep sand = me sweating my arse off dragging it not wheeling it so I assumed it should stay away from the sand.

OP posts:
AnnieAnoniMouse · 27/08/2017 11:32

People old enough to have grandchildren should know better - on several fronts.

How would your DH feel about either going alone or none of you going?

I'd either brave up to saying 'No, it's too short notice, too expensive & too much travel for DD' or chicken out & say 'DD has an ear infection, Doctor has said she must not fly'.

Don't put yourself & DD through all that for people like that. DH shouldn't go either the way they're treating him, but that's his decision to make if your finances aren't too tight, then it's a joint decision.

SouthPole · 27/08/2017 11:33

Dh goes alone and that's the plan all along.

You say that you're all coming but baby has an ear infection and now can't travel on the plane and is in shit form anyway.

You're GUTTED etc...

AnnieAnoniMouse · 27/08/2017 11:36

Double bonus then if they cut you off Fiona another 5 years. You can spend that 5 years gearing up to say 'Fuck off' when they try to get back in touch!

Don't go. They only want DD there to show her off & be in the photos. It's not like they really want you all to be there.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 27/08/2017 11:37

No. Definitely DO NOT tell them you're 'gutted' etc.

TheFaerieQueene · 27/08/2017 11:40

Are peach fabric/clothes still made or have I slipped though a time portal to the 1980's? Grin

Don't go OP.

Aebj · 27/08/2017 11:45

I'll send the nasty cold that's spreading around WA at the moment. Although it's horrible it's better then wearing peach and going to a wedding you don't need to go to

onalongsabbatical · 27/08/2017 11:45

They cut people off for not being able to haul themselves all over the planet because they think they should?
Let them go from your life. Class one narcissism.

sourpatchkid · 27/08/2017 11:50

Oh my god, just don't go. "Sorry that's too long a journey for the baby we can't come" simple

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