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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to not wear hot pants and boob tube? he asked me to wear them!

98 replies

Nat123xxx · 27/08/2017 09:04

I've literally been on two dates with him.
I don't even fancy him but I thought I would give him a chance just incase and because I thought I might as well.
After the first date he said ,we will go to the beach for our next date it would be great if you wore a boob tube and hot pants.
I jokingly said "1995 has called and thinks your idea of a good outfit is atrocious"
I met him yesterday and he actually seemed disappointed I wasn't wearing hot pants ..it was 2pm and about 16 degrees.
I'm not even sure what I'm asking but would this annoy you to the point you wouldn't see him again?

OP posts:

Trb17 · 27/08/2017 09:52

RED FLAG

Run a mile.

MrsOverTheRoad · 27/08/2017 09:52

If you're still crying over your ex it is WAY TOO SOON to date someone else.

It's highly inadvisable to look for someone "who'll stop you crying over the ex"

Nobody but you can do that.

Original poster

Nat123xxx · 27/08/2017 09:54

The thing is I don't want to waste time crying of a ex who isn't bothered about me in the slightest when I could meet someone genuine (does that make sense )
Oh he spits when he talks too

OP posts:

FuckYouLinda · 27/08/2017 09:55

You've got to hand it to him - if a date did turn up in his requested attire, it's a clear signal to him that she's malleable, and will do his bidding from the start no matter what he asks.

Could you imagine an actual relationship with this kind of man? You'd be little more than one of those sex robots. Actually he'd probably treat one of those robots with more consideration and care as they'd be more expensive than what he'd ever spend on an actual woman. He's the kind of bloke who would put locks on the kitchen cupboards.

Beyond creepy.

BetterEatCheese · 27/08/2017 09:55

Eurgh

What else would he try and control if you were to be in a relationship with him?

TatianaLarina · 27/08/2017 09:56

He said I like my women sexy as hell but he isn't sexy???

I hope you told him that.

Ttbb · 27/08/2017 09:57

I just wouldn't have turned up to the second date.

PoorYorick · 27/08/2017 09:57

Ugh OP, for God's sake. I know you're hurting, but why do you feel you need permission from us to dump Wayne Slob after two dates?

AnnieAnoniMouse · 27/08/2017 09:58

Text him 'I like my men sexy. Bye'

I hope you enjoy your date on Friday.

GeekyWombat · 27/08/2017 09:59

Definitely not unreasonable, he's clearly a loon!

Yay for another date on Friday. Agree with Birds on page one, dating should be fun. It doesn't have to be a commitment, and if anything feels off you don't owe anyone anything.

WomblingThree · 27/08/2017 09:59

You were with your ex for 6 months and he dumped you, and you are still crying 9 months later?? I imagined it was a ten year partnership or something.

I think it's time to stop "dating" and start working on your self esteem. Learn how to define yourself without a man, and then learn how to weed out the creeps.

Original poster

Nat123xxx · 27/08/2017 10:01

I know 6 months is a short space of time,I just find it hard to get over things.
Wish I didn't.

OP posts:

PoorYorick · 27/08/2017 10:03

That's the kind of thing you can address in counselling.

OverOn · 27/08/2017 10:06

If OP had posted I had a date with a guy and didn't really feel a spark, posters would tell her to give him a second chance. If a guy told me to wear hot pants at the end of a first date, but everything else had been ok (apart from the lack of spark), I think I'd assume they were joking too.

OverOn · 27/08/2017 10:07

An - with latest updates, OP you do need to work on your self esteem. Fixating in a man you dated for only 6 months is not healthy.

PoorYorick · 27/08/2017 10:08

Men should not joke about that kind of thing with women they hardly knpw. It's a red flag however it's meant.

NC4now · 27/08/2017 10:10

He sounds like a controlling slimeball.

Don't worry. You will feel something for someone. You just haven't met them yet.

Enjoy being single and know it's normal to kiss a few frogs. Whatever you do, don't feel like you have to lower your standards. Better to be single than stuck with someone like that.

NC4now · 27/08/2017 10:10

He sounds like a controlling slimeball.

Don't worry. You will feel something for someone. You just haven't met them yet.

Enjoy being single and know it's normal to kiss a few frogs. Whatever you do, don't feel like you have to lower your standards. Better to be single than stuck with someone like that.

WomblingThree · 27/08/2017 10:11

Why on earth would you tell someone to give a bloke they didn't like a second chance? Are some women really so desperate for a man that they feel unable to just say no.

I cannot imagine a man agonising like this for one second, or going on a second date to "give someone a chance" (grim). They literally wouldn't give it another thought, and would move on to the next one.

gunsandbanjos · 27/08/2017 10:11

Wow, just wow! What a dick.

RUN.A.MILE

He likes his women sexy? So, like every other guy then...

It's especially funny as you say he isn't sexy! Bet he thinks he's a total catch, he actually sounds like a total loser who probably still lives with his mum.

TheMaddHugger · 27/08/2017 10:15

((((((((((Nat123xxx )))))))))))))

Whinesalot · 27/08/2017 10:16

I'd have laughed in his face. The worrying thing is that you are actually asking if this is unreasonable.

LuluJakey1 · 27/08/2017 10:18

'I like me women sexy as hell'
After vomiting on his shoes at that remark, I would have left immediately and blocked him from ever contacting me again. He sounds like Fred West.

JetBoyJetGirl · 27/08/2017 10:19

I definitely agree that you should work on your self esteem generally, but this is the second thread you've started on a man you've had 2 dates with, didn't fancy and is obvious a bit of a sleeze.

The very most I'd expect is a "fucking hell what is wrong with some men??" post and not a couple of "ooh gosh am I being unreasonable about not seeing him again?" type posts.

Seriously, post to take the piss if you want, but no more.

You shouldn't be wasting your life crying over a boyfriend of 6 months 9 months later. What as absolute and utter waste of your life!

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 27/08/2017 10:22

You need to drop this idiot, like a hot potato ! 🙄
Just relax and enjoy dating, there are some great guys out there, your turn will come.

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