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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at DPs parents

71 replies

user1470064958 · 27/08/2017 07:34

Myself and DP spent most of yesterday at a event. This wouldn't of been suitable for DC so months in advance we arranged for DP's parents to look after DC. They are very kind and love looking after him occasionally.

We came home early in the end around 9ish and DC had just gone to sleep. They explained DC didn't want to go to sleep (13 months) and was really difficult to put down.

Currently D.C. Is cutting 4 molars and has chronic ear problems so most likely was quite uncomfortable.

I asked how they eventually got him to sleep and was told they just left him to cry it out in his playpen and then on the sofa until he eventually gave up / passed out from being exhausted.

He is usually cuddled to sleep which I know we need to work on in the future but AIBU to be annoyed they didn't try this and just let him scream instead.

As they left DP's DM said he need to learn so that's what they were doing?

OP posts:
GinIsIn · 27/08/2017 07:36

It's absolutely not what I would choose to do, but it's really very simple - if you don't approve of someone's methods, don't use them as childcare.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 27/08/2017 07:36

Such a horrible thought that he cried himself to sleep if he was in pain, I truly don't know how anyone can do this to a child.

Angelicinnocent · 27/08/2017 07:38

Don't agree with it but a lot of that generation swear by it.

Don't ask them to babysit again.

Shoxfordian · 27/08/2017 07:38

It sounds like they were trying to sleep train ?

I think as they're doing you a favour that you have to accept they have different ways to deal with children. Must have been very difficult to deal with your child making a lot of noise and not sleeping. I don't think they did anything wrong.

steff13 · 27/08/2017 07:40

Did they know he was teething? Did they give him something for it?

YouRat · 27/08/2017 07:40

13 month year old cutting molars ? I think they would have been exhausted and tried their best.

Foxtrot92 · 27/08/2017 07:44

No sorry, not acceptable. Just because someone is babysitting for you doesn't mean you have to shut up and put up with their methods. People shouldn't agree to babysit unless they are happy to respect the parents wishes. After all, if one of the GP slapped the DC would that be acceptable because they were doing you a favour? No!

MessyBun247 · 27/08/2017 07:47

I would be really annoyed. I dont think babies should ever be left to scream until they pass out exhausted. But especially not if they are in pain.
Just dont let them babysit again.

Bluntness100 · 27/08/2017 07:48

It sounds like they probably tried if he was moved from playpen to sofa. I wouldn't be too harsh. I doubt they did it out of cruelty. The fact you even had to ask how they got him to sleep indicates you knew they were in for trouble.

FartSmeller · 27/08/2017 07:49

I'm not saying I agree with what they did - but they're given a teething baby who won't go to sleep. I'm guessing they did their best if they are generally nice people. If they only have him once in a while they might not have known how he likes to be cuddled, he might have been stressed out at being somewhere different.

I wouldn't judge too harshly.

Whatsername17 · 27/08/2017 07:50

Not ok. My parents and in-laws would never do that. Yanbu

Gorgosparta · 27/08/2017 07:51

Did they give him calpol? Did you give them some when you dropped him off?

I wouldnt be happy about it. But i would also recognise that not everyone knows everything about all babies. If I have truates someone with my child, i would trust they did their best at the time.

BertrandRussell · 27/08/2017 07:54

"Don't agree with it but a lot of that generation swear by it."

What generation is that?

NormaSmuff · 27/08/2017 07:56

he will forget about it in the morning op. dont stress. next time warn them how you want him to settle may be? suggest calpol if necessary

NormaSmuff · 27/08/2017 07:57

perhaps he cried because he missed you?

Sleephead1 · 27/08/2017 07:58

Do they know how you wanted him to go to sleep? Did they know he was teething? Had you left them anything to give him. I dont agree with it and if you told them how to get him to sleep and they couldnt they should have contacted you and got you to come home. If you didnt tell them then i would make it clear you do not find this acceptable and do not want them to do this again. If you believe they would do it again anyway i would not let them babysit again.

highinthesky · 27/08/2017 07:59

What generation is that?. The generation that had better things to worry about than FWP.

OP - accept that no one is going to cosset your child in the same way you do. Unless you're lucky enough to have my mum Halo

Original poster
user1470064958 · 27/08/2017 08:12

We had left calpol and anbesol ready on the kitchen side if needed. He wasn't given any. Daytime baby sitting from now on Smile

OP posts:
thethoughtfox · 27/08/2017 08:18

This is awful but unless it was an emergency, I wouldn't recommend leaving an unwell young child to be looked after and put to sleep by someone other than you two. They will be much more distressed outwith the home and without mum or dad and people looking after them deal with it however they can.

dolcezza99 · 27/08/2017 08:21

YAB a bit U to leave a baby that needs to be "cuddled to sleep" with someone. You must have known it was going to be a lot of work for them? It would have been a shame to miss the event but them's the breaks of parenting - that sometimes you don't get to go to things you've planned.

Cailleach666 · 27/08/2017 08:24

I wouldn't have gone out leaving someone else to look after my ill child.

Ilovetolurk · 27/08/2017 08:26

YAB a bit U to leave a baby that needs to be "cuddled to sleep" with someone

I agree. As you suggest yourself, daytimes only is the way to go until baby is sleep trained

SleepFreeZone · 27/08/2017 08:27

Perhaps they weren't comfortable administering medication. I really can't get myself too upset about a one off event. I doubt he'll remember it when he's 18.

WhatEaglesWear · 27/08/2017 08:27

How essential was it that you both attended the event?

Gorgosparta · 27/08/2017 08:30

He doesnt sleep during the day?

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