To be annoyed at DPs parents

[user1470064958]

Myself and DP spent most of yesterday at a event. This wouldn't of been suitable for DC so months in advance we arranged for DP's parents to look after DC. They are very kind and love looking after him occasionally.

We came home early in the end around 9ish and DC had just gone to sleep. They explained DC didn't want to go to sleep (13 months) and was really difficult to put down.

Currently D.C. Is cutting 4 molars and has chronic ear problems so most likely was quite uncomfortable.

I asked how they eventually got him to sleep and was told they just left him to cry it out in his playpen and then on the sofa until he eventually gave up / passed out from being exhausted.

He is usually cuddled to sleep which I know we need to work on in the future but AIBU to be annoyed they didn't try this and just let him scream instead.

As they left DP's DM said he need to learn so that's what they were doing?

Did you explain to GP about the calpol and how you get him to sleep? If yes, then they were unreasonable. If not, how would they have known what to do?

Well I wouldn't have been happy about it but i wouldn't have asked anyone to babysit a baby who needs cuddled to sleep.

How specific were you in your instructions? Ie DC needs calpol at this time? Bed time is this time? We cuddle to sleep?

I think its a bit harsh to say for them not to look after DC again though

Maybe you just need to be a bit clearer in what your expectations are of them next time.

In fairness, they did you a favour by babysitting

You can't moan having left a child that needs to be cuddled to sleep, who has a problem with their ear and teeth to go out.

Fairly obvious that they would probably cry if left with someone else

" If they are incapable of cuddling a child,"

Do we know that they didn't cuddle him at all?

if it bothers you so much... find another child minder...

The concern is he must have been in some pain and they chose to let him cry it out on the sofa rather than give him calpol; thats different to letting him try and settle on his own (i dont support CIO but there are levels)

Yes, for me this is the salient point. If they knew he was in pain, knew Calpol and Ambesol were available, then to not give them to him and to let him cry it out when he is clearly in pain is very cruel. Presumably you told them he was teething and where the medication was, OP?

Surreylanes no I didn't apologize for asking them to mind their grandchild!!

Why is it automatically assumed they were given no instructions or have no knowledge of his health and sleeping patterns. He was left with his grandparents not strangers.

They were completely aware of sleeping arrangements and how he falls asleep diddl

If they are incapable of cuddling a child

Errrrr you have no idea of they cuddled him or not!

"They were completely aware of sleeping arrangements and how he falls asleep diddl"

Missed that in your post.

Bit of a drip feed going on here. If you said to them before leaving 'DS is ill ATM and needs to be cuddled to sleep every night' and they then left him to howl, then you have a point.

If you went out leaving a poorly child in someone else's care without giving them a heads-up about his health or his sleeping requirements (which as you acknowledge in your OP are a bit unusual!) then YABU.

It sounds as though the actual situation is actually somewhere in the middle of these two.

Your not being unreasonable at all especially if they knew his routine & condition :(

Poor little poppet, hope they feel better soon x

Ok now you say that they were aware of how sleeping arrangements, so could it be that they tried to cuddle to sleep but DC being unwell wouldn't settle for them?

Have you left DC to be cuddled to sleep but someone else before?

Not meant harshly but maybe they did the best they could in the circumstances & maybe you shouldn't have gone out. I appreciate that this was an event planned for a while but if I was in your position with an unwell DC that needed cuddling to sleep I wouldn't have gone as it wouldn't be fair to either party the joys of being a mum

It's really not their place to enforce their own parenting methods, it's actually really counterproductive. Most likely they were just too tired to deal with him.

I think you are very unfair to leave children that need cuddling to sleep at bedtime. It's not fair on anyone.

I'm of that generation and I would never leave my DGS to cry to sleep.
He is now a wriggly little bundle of scrumptiousness aged 2.5 years and I can and do cuddle him.

I'm just wondering why you left your unwell child?!?

I cuddled my DC to sleep and I do the same for my DGC. I am also capable of administering calpol.

I don't see the big deal.

Erm, I'd have major trouble not cuddling or trying to comfort any sobbing baby with ear and teeth issues, never mind one I loved! If you babysit to do bedtime then surely you've signed up for the pasting and singing and rocking and accepting they don't just have an off switch?

My dm's in her 70s and was up most of the other night soothing a poorly grandson she was babysitting, (not mine before I get flamed for it). She couldn't have left him to cry no matter how long it took.

Haven't read rtwft but once you have tried everything, cuddling etc and that are still trying, what else can you do? They have had medicine, presumably food & milk/water and whatever other essentials they might need - sometimes letting them cry it out is the only way they'll fall asleep,
.

If he was so difficult they should of rang you if anyone I left my child with could do that I wouldnt be leaving my baby with them again.

Tbf if you both knew that he was uncomfortable and knew that he was most likely going to be upset as a result then maybe you or dp should of stayed home to look after him as well.... what they did isn't great but they may of tried to settle him before that and became overwhelmed