I am a quintessential fuck up

[LEMtheoriginal]

My life is just one big fuck up - the trouble is It affects the people that I care about and I fuck then up to. I am not a nice person and although I know I don't deserve to be happy I still feel entitled to it -selfis

laura all MH problems are on the continuum of 'normal', just at the extremes. When I
was tested for PD the psychologist explained that most people have traits of PD- it's just whether their issues are at a 'clinical' level. You can have traits of a PD, without having a PD, as a person might not have enough traits, or at a problematic enough level. Explanation here

NB I don't have a PD, just in case I seem overly invested.

I know all about PD thanks, my ex has one. I've researched extensively but as I said, as OP's problems do seem quite severe it is an avenue worth exploring by a professional, as I've said.

I went for a run!! My dd sent me a you tube video of funny animals and it made me so happy - it's a tiny little thing that said she was thinking of me. One day at a time.

I felt sick running but I did it!!

Thank you so much for the advice and support it means so much.

Keep running LEM!

Can you find a timeslot in your day that is assigned to LEM's run?
Even if it's not a long one , I think it would be helpful to you, and therefore to all your loved ones, too

LEM you are obviously very intelligent and very analytical. You think you might be over thinking things a bit? I certainly do the same when I'm bad. I'm the same age as your dd and have a strange relationship with my mum. Her mh issues when I was a teen effected me so it's a slightly similar situation. Your dd is unwell, as her mum all you want it help her get better I know. But you can't right now, all you can do is send her silly videos and pictures to let her know you're thinking of her and be there when she's ready to get better.

But the best thing you can do to help her, is to work on getting into a good place mentally. You can't give from an empty cup, you need to be strong and stable so when dd is ready you can support her. It's not selfish to put your well being first you know! You can't give your best to people if you don't look after yourself.

Cuppa's advice is literally the best advice possible here- the stronger you, the more you can anchor others around you. Plus, you are an important person in your own right, you also deserve to be mentally and physically happy on this earth, as well as your children. Model it, wish the best for them, that's all you can do.

well done for going for a run LEM. And I'm glad your DD has been in contact with something lighthearted. Keep going.

👟👟🏃🏼‍♀️Excellent 👏🏻

Great about DD1 as well 😊

That is great

So pleased to hear it.

Hope to hear about run number 2 any day now!!