People who think catcalling is flattering

[CumberlandSausage]

I know some people, both men and women, who think it's flattering when people in vans or workmen catcall. That women should 'take it as compliment'.

I am completely floored by this because I feel completely mortified and worthless when it happens, and full of rage!

AIBU to think that these people who think it's flattering need their heads checked?

men dont feel intimidated by gangs of men? really? of course they do.

you arent a man so you cant really comment on what they feel are issues to them.

No I'm not a man 🤔 but I think I can fairly confidently say they don't get intimidated by cars going past shouting 'get yer tits out'.........or honking their horns at random men because they approve of them. If your self esteem is dependent on turning the heads of men who are stranger's than crack on!!

not minding doesnt equal being "dependent on"

If you feel flattered about some random man whistling at you as though you're a dog, then you need to take a look at yourself!

www.upworthy.com/a-french-film-showing-men-what-being-a-woman-feels-like-kinda?c=reccon1

I've been beeped at and the bloke has given me a beaming grin, I must be "that sort of person" as I didn't mind it and it actually made me smile.

by that person I mean very low self esteem, thought I was ugly and had no confidence at all.

The catcalling is part of a wider rape culture.
At best cat callers are ignorant.
Same for those who enjoy it.

I hate it. Last time it happened to me some bloke stood outside a shop yelled, 'nice arse' as I walked by. I kept walking and didn't acknowledge it, so he followed up with 'fucking rude tart'.

On the other hand, there was a guy behind me in a queue that caught my eye and told me he loved my hair colour and that it really suited me. I thanked him and he said 'you're welcome!' and that was it.

Guess which one made me smile and which made me despair?

I work at a uni so lots of young women around. At the moment we are in middle of refurb so lots of work men about.....lots of ogling, blatent ogling! I worry for my daughter I really do!

'Last time it happened to me some bloke stood outside a shop yelled, 'nice arse' as I walked by. I kept walking and didn't acknowledge it, so he followed up with 'fucking rude tart'.'

Exactly, Morbid. It doesn't take long for the true feelings of the man/men doing this sort of thing to surface - most times the aggression/distaste for women is bubbling away beneath the original comment and any kind of rejection seems to justify the abuse surfacing. It's actually crazily sinister.

I used to like passing motorists looking my way when I was in VI form, mostly because I was desperate for male attention as it was the basis of my self worth. Now I look back and think they were creeps and feel a little nauseous and something else that I cant articulate.

Well, I might shout 'morning gents' depending on the situation. But I do take your point. I don't think 'morning ladies' is necessarily offensive (unlike "I'm going to fuck your arse till you break in half" as someone upthread was subjected to). However as I said upthread the tone and context could make it so. So, OK, I retract that bit of my post and stand by the other bit.

I really can't bring myself to get so het up over random weirdo people calling out in the street. I've got bigger things to worry about.

I always say 'pick your battles carefully' and this is one battle I'm not prepared to waste my time on.

I was the lucky recipient of vile catcalls from age 10 upwards. I was a very shy child and I had no idea what a cocksucker was, which I sent what one middle aged man said to me in the street when I was on my own. I had to ask my mum what it meant.

It got worse as I developed. I was blessed (cursed) with a large chest and the comments were grim. It made me painfully shy and self conscious. Without fail if I walked past a building site (which I tried not to) I would get a crude comment.

When I was about 18 I had this hideous blue anorak. A more sexless outfit you could find. And yet a man felt compelled to call me a whore.

In central London I have had cars with young guys in it keep pace with me asking me to get in.

I am now 52 - largely (thankfully) invisible. I started doing morning walks to get fitter at the start of the year. I got a few white van man comments along the lines of fat cow. But now I am losing weight, I have had a few Hello Darlin'. I enjoy getting fitter but the increased attention is a worry. It is not something I welcome. I loved being invisible in middle age. It felt liberating, to go about your business without some Neanderthals shouted "compliments" at you.

Genuinely if you get some sense of pride or ego boost from random knobs shouting at you, your self esteem must be non-existent.

I find men extremely baffling, strange, disappointing, one dimensional.

What is even more strange and baffling is how some women put them on pedestals and would do anything to attract them or keep them.