To not let dp go out...

[muddylettuce]

It's my mother's 60th birthday celebration this weekend, she has booked a house that sleeps 10 so all her children, plus partners and grandchildren can stay together. There is a meal booked Saturday at 3pm and a big picnic the next day. Dp has been invited to a party by a friend Saturday night from 6pm. He thinks I am being unreasonable in saying he can't go, says no one will miss him for a few hours and we live locally so physically he can do both. I think he is being unreasonable for thinking it's ok to leave my mother's bash! She's paid a lot of money so everyone can stay under one roof, it's obviously important to her we're all there.

Yanbu

LTB

I don't see the problem with him going out tbh.

She's your mother not his I doubt she's going to miss him for a few hours when she's got her children and grandchildren around her

Yanbu. He wouldn't duck out of his own mothers party, would he?

He is b u. He's committed to your mums celebrations. Full stop. Because something else has come along doesn't mean he should do it.

Put your foot down OP

Haha! Puppy monkey

YABU to say he can't. One would assume he has the manners to know where his priorities lay.

Who extended the first invitation, your DM or his mate ?

It's worrisome that he doesn't realize how completely disrespectful and rude this would be.

If he does this for your mum's celebrations, then you and the kids get to return the favour at his family's celebrations. It's only fair right?

I should add, it's his mother in law to be. We have two children who will be there. It's not like we're casual bf and gf at this point.

What's the party with his friend for?

He would be so rude to do this. I don't suppose you can stop him but you can tell him how disrespectful and selfish it would be, and how bad he would look to his ILs.

Stilldrivingmebonkers My DM. She's had it planned for the best part of a year. The invite for his friend's bash came out last month.

Purpledaisies house warming/just because.

Was he told he was going to you mums bday party weekend or was he asked if he wanted to go

He was already committed to your mums birthday bash so should decline friends invite.

Chipsandpeas to be fair he wasn't asked directly. She told everyone what she was planning, asked me when we were free (we're shift workers so leave is hard to get) and sent everyone Facebook invites well before the event. Which he accepted. We are attending as a family of 4.

Yanbu, it's very rude of him to ditch your family that he made a commitment to because he got a better offer

Is he the type who could go to the friends party for a couple of hours and return and continue the celebrations with your family? Or will he get wasted at the party and be useless for the rest of your mums weekend?

YANBU

If it was his best friends engagement party or something it might be ok but a house party!

You shouldnt treat a partner like a child. If he goes he goes. But i would tell him he needs to be the person to tell your mother and let him have the in law fall out.

YANBU.

He is very unreasonable to even contemplate it.

Well he's accepted the invite so to not go would be rude however I wouldn't say to him he wasn't allowed to go, I'd point it out it was rude and I would actually consider the relationship I'd he did go to his friends party

So he will still be there for the meal and BBQ parts?

So no reason he can't do the main parts of both then so going against the grain I can't see a major problem.

chipsandpeas the relationship is difficult right now as it is. That's for a different thread though!

Yanbu