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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Neighbours moved out without saying goodbye

98 replies

CommonFishDiseases · 25/08/2017 14:47

Our neighbours appear to have packed their stuff into a removal van and moved out today... Is it weird that they didn't pop round to say bye or even put a note through our door? Their house has been on the market for over a year (on-off process, sales falling through, etc). So we didn't know if/when they were moving out and we didn't want to keep asking for info as we felt it wasn't our business. Equally though it would be nice to know if someone new is moving in, and also wish the old neighbours well in their future plans. We've lived next door for 1.5 years and haven't had much to do with them, just attempted a friendly "hello" now and again. They were courteous but not overly friendly. We were nice neighbours, I think! Is this rude on their part or AIBU and precious?!

OP posts:

Nikephorus · 25/08/2017 16:09

Why would they make a point of saying goodbye to someone they'd barely said hello to?!!! Definitely precious.

LondonNicki · 25/08/2017 16:10

That was my first thought also...maybe they suspected you would be asking for a back history on thew new neighbours (as you admit yourself) and didn't want to get involved in that whole discussion.

AntheasAcquaintance · 25/08/2017 16:17

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Laiste · 25/08/2017 16:18

Reading with interest! Trying to decide what to do re: goodbyes when we move next month. Been here 4 years and one side barely say hello, the other side (elderly) spend most of the time away, and the lady opposite always chats for ages but it's rare we cross paths.

I might do the note option. We're renting so there's no sale sign to warn them.

Katedotness1963 · 25/08/2017 16:18

I've moved a few times and never gone to say goodbye to the neighbours.

SheSaidHeSaid · 25/08/2017 16:20

I kind of said bye to one side as she saw us hanging around waiting to go (she was a very nosy neighbour anyway and part of the reason I didn't want to live there any more) and I didn't say a word to the other side. They were just neighbours, not friends to me.

Laiste · 25/08/2017 16:21

When we moved to be here it was a different kettle of fish. We were good mates with the neighbors on one side (so consequently they knew all about our plans anyway and sent a card, kept in touch ect,. coming over for coffee tonight actually) and the other side were very matey over fence and again they knew we were going and wished us well the day the van turned up.

Yes, i will just do the note this time.

missmollyhadadolly · 25/08/2017 16:22

Wow, a year and a half and hello-basis only? I wouldn't have expected them to give me a second's thought.

I'm sure your other neighbours will say goodbye if they ever leave, you seem closer to them.

Whatawaytomakealiving · 25/08/2017 16:23

In the past as the person staying I gave my next door neighbour a card as she moved on, to wish her luck and also a welcome card and a bottle of wine to the new family.
Maybe there is a family, recently moved, wondering why their ex NDN didn't wish them well as they left😳

SandyY2K · 25/08/2017 16:23

Considering you weren't friends with them, it's no big deal.

expatinscotland · 25/08/2017 16:28

My kind of neighbour - courteous but minimal contact. You are a lucky person. And YABU.

Original poster

CommonFishDiseases · 25/08/2017 16:31

Beyond the Page they probably sold to a developer, an airbandb landlord or a group of junkie party animals

That's what we thought too!!

OP posts:

AmberStClare · 25/08/2017 16:32

I felt a bit of a heel when I didn't say goodbye to the neighbours one side. But then they had annoyed me intensely when I was selling by being complete PITAs with their building works. I did put a change of address card through their door though.

Other neighbours all came to me however to say goodbye, wine, cakes and cards were produced.

I wouldn't waste time fretting about them, concentrate on your more friendly neighbours. Maybe your new ones will be nice too.

HateSummer · 25/08/2017 16:33

We did this 😂...I don't think they cared and were probably happy we left (3 noisy kids and 1 loud mother).

Liiinoo · 25/08/2017 16:37

We lived in our last house 18 years. Not only did we say goodbye to our NDN and the people next door to them, we had a leaving party and we all hugged and cried.

The people on the other side to us however we didn't say goodbye to as we weren't friends with them. After nearly 20 years of just waving and taking in parcels occasionally it would have been odd to knock and say goodbye. So yes, given you didn't have any sort of relationship with your neighbours, YABU.

Gorgosparta · 25/08/2017 16:39

i think we are just a really friendly family and come from warm or friendly cultures/backgrounds.

Eh?

HateSummer · 25/08/2017 16:50

..we had a leaving party and we all hugged and cried.

Sorry but that's put tears in my eyes from laughing 😂. Hugged and cried 😂😂. Oh man.

ButchyRestingFace · 25/08/2017 17:03

We've lived next door for 1.5 years and haven't had much to do with them, just attempted a friendly "hello" now and again.

WTF. It sounds like you barely gave each other the time of day.

PetitFilous123 · 25/08/2017 17:04

you've lived beside them for 18 months and the house has been on the market for over a year...maybe they just don't like you much (joking)

I wouldn't find it that odd to be fair. Hope you get nice new neighbours

gillybeanz · 25/08/2017 17:12

You didn't know them so the fact they happened to live next door to you is immaterial.
You and they were little more than randomers to each other.
I think close neighbours usually tell each other quite a bit about their business and life.
I know quite a lot about ours as we have lived next door for 16 years now, have drinks at xmas, have keys to look after houses during holidays, take parcels and milk in for each other and socialise over the fence, daily.

Original poster

CommonFishDiseases · 25/08/2017 17:20

Butchy Resting Face It sounds like you barely gave each other the time of day.

They weren't around much (working away) but we did take in quite a few parcels for them and had the odd chat on the driveway.

OP posts:

BananaSandwichesEveryDay · 25/08/2017 17:21

When we moved here, we were very sad for leave our old neighbours and definitely made an effort to say goodbye. We'd only been neighbours for a couple of years but had become good friends and are still in touch, 30 years later.
In our current house, we have very good neighbours on one side, we are all friendly and look after each others' pets when we go away. Our children grew up plating together and are still all friends now, even though they are not all at home now. On the other side, although nice enough they make it clear they don't want to be friends. That's fine, they are much younger and we probably don't have a lot in common.

Original poster

CommonFishDiseases · 25/08/2017 17:24

We have moved loads and have had some amazing neighbours, some of whom became friends and we are still in touch with. So I guess I always hope for that kind of relationship with neighbours. However to be fair we've had some shockers too and wouldn't have bothered saying bye to them. I guess it's all relative!! Hopefully we haven't been awful neighbours to them but I will get over it and move on

OP posts:

greendale17 · 25/08/2017 17:25

Is precious the new buzz word now?

FluffyPineapple · 25/08/2017 17:33

There's your answer OP - Not all neighbours warrant a goodbye hug and promises to meet up soon

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