To report my 'd'm for theft

[cunningstunnt]

I've posted about my financially abusive DM before. While very drunk last week I attempted suicide and ended up in intensive care.

My mum has been very erratic ever since. From initiating hugs (we dont hug) to screaming at me and reducing me to tears when she knocked over a cup of coffee.

I'm struggling to cope and am very isolated so went out for a few drinks. Which turned into a lot. When I got home I went to sleep, and when I woke up mum had taken my purse with all my bank cards in put of my bag and hidden it.

This morning she's refused to give it back. She's told me to move out but wont give me back my cards so I can! I rang 101 in tears and they wanted to send someone over as it's theft. Thinking that was a bit extreme I asked if we could wait and I'd ask her again. She refused point blank. She even said if I wanted to stay with my dad (3 hours away), she would buy my train ticket online with my money and I could collect it at the train station, but she was still keeping the cards.

I've told the police they can go over there to get them back and speak to her but I'm terrified of the consequences. I'm 29 ffs

[cunningstunnt]

I'm outside and rheumatoid officer has just gone in. I'm so scared.

[BeachyKeen]

Nothing is going to happen to you while you are with the police. Once you have your ID and such back, you can leave either to a refuge, to your father's or perhaps another family member.

[stormytherabbit]

You are going to be okay x

[HeebieJeebies456]

you'll be safe in your dad's house/hotel tonight.....just think of that.

you'll need to change all your passwords for your bank/email accounts in case she knows them.
then close/transfer any utility accounts in your name.
Inform your council tax department you no longer live there and update to your dad's address with everywhere you're registered.
your mum can make her own arrangements re her income and how she pays the bills.

Has your gp referred you for therapy/counselling?

You do need to start sorting yourself out instead of relying on your parents, especially seeing as they are either abusive or in bad health themselves.

[flickertee]

Ah OP what a time you're having!

It sounds as though your dads is going to be the best place for you

Your mother is ABUSIVE. She will only add to your MH troubles

[ohfourfoxache]

Hope you've got your stuff and that you're safe

[stormytherabbit]

@grandOlejukeofYork

Nice to know that you are a domestic violence victim blamer.

[Chocolatekeepsmesane]

I hope you've managed to get your stuff.

It does sound like you would at least emotional be much, much better off living away from your mum. I appreciate it is probably hard to do in reality.
Stay strong

[TroelsLovesSquinkies]

Hope it went OK

[blueskyinmarch]

Oh OP what a horrible situation to be in. I hope the officer has got your purse and some belongings and you can go somewhere safe and calm for a while to get space to sort things out.

[aaaaargghhhhelpme]

Oh op. Sorry just saw all of this. Hope it all goes ok and you get your stuff back and get out of there

Sending lots of and hugs

[GetOutOfMYGarden]

OP, hope you've managed to get your cards and get everything changed. If I were you, my next step would be to withdraw what I need for the following few days, cancel them (in case she's taken pictures of the numbers for online shopping), and wait for new ones. Check your direct debits and standing orders, as DM may have had things set up against your account and cancel any that aren't yours. Change your address with the council, and change your banking and paypal passwords, along with the one for your email.

Additionally, I would be double checking that mortgage you've been paying for so long. Make sure that it's not in your name and that it is indeed in DM's.

Best of luck. Hopefully your mental health will improve by being away from your M

[PumpkinPie2016]

How did it go OP? Did you get your things back?

I hope you are ok and somewhere safe x

[Aeroflotgirl]

Wow grand nice bit of victim blaming there. Nasty post. Op get your stuff, hold your head up high, she has done wrong not you, have nothing to be ashamed of. Then go totally NC with her, is is pure poison.

[Supermagicsmile]

Hope you get your stuff!

[Youcanttaketheskyfromme]

I agree with a pp that you will feel. A lot better when apart from your mother.

[RaspberryMousse]

Once you're at your dad's if you're staying there for the foreseeable then get your mail redirected. It's not very expensive and will ensure that all mail comes to you at your new address while you go about contacting everyone to change it.

[MyKingdomForBrie]

grand did you read this thread with your eyes closed? What a fucking stupid remark.

[GeekyWombat]

Hoping you're ok OP. Thinking of you

[stormytherabbit]

Let us know how you get on. We are all thinking about you. ❤

[cunningstunnt]

Got my cards back. Planned to leave this morning but just got a text out of the blue from dad, telling me not to come up until I seek 'professional help' for my drinking. Basically he just thinks I'm going to be hard work that he doesn't need, even though I don't drink when I'm with him! So now I'm stuck and have nowhere to go. Talk about pulling the rug from under me

[Aeroflotgirl]

Oh no love, can you go to the council or refuge. I hope somebody with good advice comes on soon.

[ChasedByBees]

Could you speak with him and say that you will as soon as you arrive? It makes no sense to start it in the area you're in and then move.