To report my 'd'm for theft

[cunningstunnt]

I've posted about my financially abusive DM before. While very drunk last week I attempted suicide and ended up in intensive care.

My mum has been very erratic ever since. From initiating hugs (we dont hug) to screaming at me and reducing me to tears when she knocked over a cup of coffee.

I'm struggling to cope and am very isolated so went out for a few drinks. Which turned into a lot. When I got home I went to sleep, and when I woke up mum had taken my purse with all my bank cards in put of my bag and hidden it.

This morning she's refused to give it back. She's told me to move out but wont give me back my cards so I can! I rang 101 in tears and they wanted to send someone over as it's theft. Thinking that was a bit extreme I asked if we could wait and I'd ask her again. She refused point blank. She even said if I wanted to stay with my dad (3 hours away), she would buy my train ticket online with my money and I could collect it at the train station, but she was still keeping the cards.

I've told the police they can go over there to get them back and speak to her but I'm terrified of the consequences. I'm 29 ffs

[peachgreen]

Excellent post @MargaretTwatyer. OP, I really hope you take this advice.

[MargaretTwatyer]

OP. I'm afraid that it has reached this point for you to reach your rock bottom with your drinking. I think your DF is reluctant to allow you to stay because he believes it will simply enable you to carry on with your self destructive behaviour. And I suspect he's probably right.

Nothing is going to get better until you stop drinking. You need to take responsibility that you are the person who is continuing to make the choice to drink. You need to stop saying 'Oh but x or y drives me to drink so I have to do it'. You are the one choosing to drink.

From your previous posts I know that you are drinking so much you frequently can't work and your mother has been going to do your cleaning jobs for you. You are now homeless because your drinking. Your drinking has cost you your livelihood and your home.

Go to your GP and explain what has happened and ask for help with your drinking. You may need a detox. None of the other MH issues you have are going to improve while you are drinking and you will find professionals are unwilling to offer you support with them whilst your drinking is out of control because it's futile.

Go and register with your local council as homeless as you may be entitled to help with your health problems. You may need to go into a hostel initially, and look at what benefits you are entitled to, as from what you've said before you are not going to be able to work reliably while drinking at this level.

I don't think a refuge will be a good option for you at the moment because your drinking probably won't be tolerated in an environment where many are fleeing alcohol fuelled violence.

But you do need to make stopping drinking your top priority as nothing else will improve until you stop that.

So basically: Contact your local council's homeless unit
Go see your GP regarding stopping drinking
Contacting Alcoholics Anonymous would also be a good move.

Good luck, I hope you manage to turn it around.

[OurMiracle1106]

OP where are you based? Do you need someone to sit with you.
Phone women's aid it alternatively speak to the police who may be able to put you in touch with the women's refuges in your area.

[FlappyFish]

If you make a suicide attempt under influence you get pretty much no support. Been there, done that. No referral to CMHT. Basically sober up and here is the number for alcohol support services.

Op, I've been where you are. I don't know the extent of your drinking. But I certainly know the alcohol and depression were a catastrophic mix and cycle of hell.

First things first is finding somewhere to stay. If you have funds get on booking.com or go to the council.

I've also had all cards taken off me, all funds, even had my phone destroyed because of how I was. (That was an accident. Looking back I can see they acted through utter terror and frustration).

You mentioned you did be suicide attempt in blackout. So you know the alcohol is a problem. Most non- heavy drinkers don't even know what a blackout is like.

I am sober now. My mental health has imporived no end, but I will probably be on the highest dose of Sertraline for the rest of my life. And that's fine.

Get yourself safe. Don't go back and stay there. You need to break free, and you need unbiased support.

Ps - I did something horrific in blackout and spent 6 weeks as an inpatient. That was a relapse, so was treated differently than prolonged drinking.

Take care.

[stormytherabbit]

Tell them you are homeless due to domestic violence and the police had to escort you out.
Tell them about your suicide attempt and your mental health.
They should give you emergency accommodation.

[TalkinBoutNuthin]

Actually, thinking about it, you should have a mental health social workerbfollowing a suicide attempt. Do you have one? Can they help you?

[TalkinBoutNuthin]

Do you have a police report? If not get one, pack a few bags with your essentials, and then go to your council and tell them you are homeless.

[stormytherabbit]

Where are you based?

[cunningstunnt]

He's told me not to come up. He's been pretty clear and I'm not going to beg. I said that staying here makes things worse and he's ignored the text. So now I'm stuck and have nowhere to go

[ChasedByBees]

Could you speak with him and say that you will as soon as you arrive? It makes no sense to start it in the area you're in and then move.

[Aeroflotgirl]

Oh no love, can you go to the council or refuge. I hope somebody with good advice comes on soon.

[cunningstunnt]

Got my cards back. Planned to leave this morning but just got a text out of the blue from dad, telling me not to come up until I seek 'professional help' for my drinking. Basically he just thinks I'm going to be hard work that he doesn't need, even though I don't drink when I'm with him! So now I'm stuck and have nowhere to go. Talk about pulling the rug from under me

[stormytherabbit]

Let us know how you get on. We are all thinking about you. ❤

[GeekyWombat]

Hoping you're ok OP. Thinking of you

[MyKingdomForBrie]

grand did you read this thread with your eyes closed? What a fucking stupid remark.

[RaspberryMousse]

Once you're at your dad's if you're staying there for the foreseeable then get your mail redirected. It's not very expensive and will ensure that all mail comes to you at your new address while you go about contacting everyone to change it.

[Youcanttaketheskyfromme]

I agree with a pp that you will feel. A lot better when apart from your mother.

[Supermagicsmile]

Hope you get your stuff!

[Aeroflotgirl]

Wow grand nice bit of victim blaming there. Nasty post. Op get your stuff, hold your head up high, she has done wrong not you, have nothing to be ashamed of. Then go totally NC with her, is is pure poison.

[PumpkinPie2016]

How did it go OP? Did you get your things back?

I hope you are ok and somewhere safe x

[GetOutOfMYGarden]

OP, hope you've managed to get your cards and get everything changed. If I were you, my next step would be to withdraw what I need for the following few days, cancel them (in case she's taken pictures of the numbers for online shopping), and wait for new ones. Check your direct debits and standing orders, as DM may have had things set up against your account and cancel any that aren't yours. Change your address with the council, and change your banking and paypal passwords, along with the one for your email.

Additionally, I would be double checking that mortgage you've been paying for so long. Make sure that it's not in your name and that it is indeed in DM's.

Best of luck. Hopefully your mental health will improve by being away from your M

[aaaaargghhhhelpme]

Oh op. Sorry just saw all of this. Hope it all goes ok and you get your stuff back and get out of there

Sending lots of and hugs

[blueskyinmarch]

Oh OP what a horrible situation to be in. I hope the officer has got your purse and some belongings and you can go somewhere safe and calm for a while to get space to sort things out.

[TroelsLovesSquinkies]

Hope it went OK