To report my 'd'm for theft

[cunningstunnt]

I've posted about my financially abusive DM before. While very drunk last week I attempted suicide and ended up in intensive care.

My mum has been very erratic ever since. From initiating hugs (we dont hug) to screaming at me and reducing me to tears when she knocked over a cup of coffee.

I'm struggling to cope and am very isolated so went out for a few drinks. Which turned into a lot. When I got home I went to sleep, and when I woke up mum had taken my purse with all my bank cards in put of my bag and hidden it.

This morning she's refused to give it back. She's told me to move out but wont give me back my cards so I can! I rang 101 in tears and they wanted to send someone over as it's theft. Thinking that was a bit extreme I asked if we could wait and I'd ask her again. She refused point blank. She even said if I wanted to stay with my dad (3 hours away), she would buy my train ticket online with my money and I could collect it at the train station, but she was still keeping the cards.

I've told the police they can go over there to get them back and speak to her but I'm terrified of the consequences. I'm 29 ffs

[ijustwannadance]

Are you the poster who had a claim payout for an accident and your mum has been taking the piss spending it and leaving work so you have to pay everything?

The only way you will get better is to leave and have no contact with her or your grabby brother.

[cunningstunnt]

ijustwannadance yep that's me

[GeekyWombat]

Oh OP. I remember your previous thread. I'm so sorry this has happened. If you haven't already please get the police out to get your things and go somewhere safe.

User02 If you haven't read the previous threads I'd caution you wasting your sympathy on a woman who has been abusive and horrific in her treatment to her daughter. And do you know what, while I'm sure being the mother of someone who has attempted suicide is incredibly stressful and upsetting, how about showing some empathy to the person who actually got to the point that they didn't feel life was worth living anymore?

[cunningstunnt]

Thank our for all your advice. Police should hopefully be speaking to me at 5. To the pps who are taking pity on my mother, I do understand the stress I am putting her under, and am sorry for it. However I have been emotionally abused by her since childhood and whilst that is not an excuse for my behaviour, she is by no means a saint! In any case, if ahead didn't want me drinking she could lock me out (even though I pay her mortgage) but she is not allowed to steal my bank cards, tell me to leave yet remove any funds that would enable me to do so.

[Katescurios]

Have you got a banking app on your phone? I'm with Natwest and you can go on the app and it will give you a pin to type into the ATM letting you withdraw money without your bank card. Think its up to £100.

[ijustwannadance]

Leave. Asap.

[TalkinBoutNuthin]

When you leave I think you will find that a lot of your emotional problems won't be there anymore.

Good luck, and 'stay strong' vibes being sent to you!

[GetOutOfMYGarden]

OP, your drinking may be out of control, but your mum's in the wrong. It'd be different if she hadn't been financially exploiting you since your accident, if she was going to give your dads the cards when you went to his, or if she was going to cut them up completely so neither of you could use them.

Sounds to me she wants to keep control of your money because without you her mortgage isn't paid. You need out of there.

[cunningstunnt]

Thank you GeekyWombat

[Miserylovescompany2]

You are not going to get your mental health back on track whilst living in that environment - once you get your cards returned - LEAVE! - get your stuff ready in preparation.

[cunningstunnt]

GetOutOfMYGarden that sounds pretty accurate. It's like she wants my money but doesn't want me

[AlpacaLipsNow]

How about the stress the DM and DB have put on the OP that may have caused her suicide attempt? FFS, MN is an odd place sometimes. Posters do like to be contrary fuckers and not bother reading properly.

Call the police OP. Get your cards and leave. You need to be away from your mum and brother. Hopefully you will feel better with your DF for a bit.

[OurMiracle1106]

First of all please call women's aid. This is domestic abuse. They will be able to help you to get the support you need.
Secondly it is perfectly ok to cut off toxic people from your life including family

[ChasedByBees]

While the police are there, ensure you get your purse and cards back and then leave.

[Madwoman5]

Tell us she does not have your pin number........ you are about to withdraw financial support and she has your cards and purse....she can use them for online and telephone purchases even without your pin. Sit and wait for the police to get it back or pack a few more bits up and then leave and go nc. This was always going to end in tears so just think about rescuing yourself for once. Fuck the neighbours and the gossip. She has brought this on herself.

[Showandtell]

I;m sorry I don't know any of your previous posting history. But could it be that she is trying to stop you drinking?

[GwenStaceyRocks]

Is there a reason why you didn't accept her offer of buying the train ticket? You could cancel the card after she's bought the train ticket and then go to your dad's.
Since you feel you drink less and are happier at your dad's, I don't understand why you're prolonging staying at your mum's.

[StormTreader]

I assume she didnt just take the ticket and then cancel the cards because her bag ALSO has her ID etc in it, its a lot of hassle and admin which could be avoided by simply being given her stolen bag back.

[WoofWoofMooWoof]

Sounds to me like your issues have a lot to do with the toxic environment you find yourself in . I agree with pps - once you get out and stay out, your outlook on life will probably improve a lot. Stay away from your 'D'M and your 'D'B, withdraw financial support so they have to stand on their own feet, and start living your life for yourself.

for you.

[stormytherabbit]

Hi x
Have you spoken with the police yet?

[ohtheholidays]

I hope the Police are with you now and that you've got all of your cards,bag and money back.

Honestly I'd take anything that's yours and leave and go NC with your Mother and your Brother,it doesn't sound like either of them deserve you!

[AprilLady4]

[cunningstunnt]

I'm here now. Theyve interviewed me and taking me back up to mum's to get my stuff back. I'm terrified. In the back of a police van with blacked out Windows and I have to hide here til he's brought my stuff.