Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

To ask about your bottle fed awful sleeper babies?

93 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 23/08/2017 06:15

I have a 7 day old EBF newborn and the nights are hellish

I tend to get about 3 hours broken sleep in a 24 hour period with last night being the low point of me having had only 45 minutes sleep between midnight and now (06.00)

The cluster feeding and screaming unless he's on me are unbearable and after three horrendous nights in a row I'm nearing my limit

My mom, who is very anti breast feeding has been on my case about how I should just give formula and it will solve all my problems I really want to keep breast feeding though but her constantly going on at me, coupled with how vulnerable I feel because I'm so exhausted, I fear is going to lead me to give in.

I need to hear how formula isn't the answer and hear stories about formula fed babies who have been just as much a nightmare baby as an EBF one.

I just need to know that my mother isn't right

OP posts:

MrBloomIsActuallyAttractive · 23/08/2017 21:20

I stopped breastfeeding at 6 months and my baby is a worse sleeper now than he was then.
You're doing an amazing job. Newborns can be difficult, don't be too hard on yourself

Josieannathe2nd · 23/08/2017 21:26

I hope you have a useful visit tomorrow and if there is tongue tie that you can get it sorted quickly. In the meantime... let people do everything they possibly can to help you. Your baby is gaining weight so you can be happy he's alright but your husband needs to be making you regular good food, bringing you drinks, friends/Grandparents looking after 3 year old etc. We call it survival mode in our house and sometime you just have to go all out on looking after yourself so that then you can look after your baby. Even if bf doesn't work out in the long term you need to survive the next week!

MundayCakes85 · 23/08/2017 21:38

Hi Writer I remember you from the buses and just wanted to say a big congratulations on having a baby boy
The first couple of weeks are so so hard, it's a huge shock to the system but it does slowly get better. Try to ignore all the "advise" and do what you want/ think is right for you and baby. And juggling 2 DC is hard without the sleep deprivation.
Hope you get some sleep soon and to keep you going!

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 23/08/2017 21:50

I'm envious of all your milk, expressing that much after a section is brilliant.

Both my children had their tongue ties separated at a couple of weeks old and it was no more traumatic than injections.

Lanisoh is good for maintenance but for nipple damage I recommend getting hold of some parafin gauze (ask a pharmacist, it's pretty cheap). You cut a smallish square (large stamp) and put it on your nipple and leave it there in between feeds.

I share a bed with my baby and feed lying on my side. It's working really well for us. I can feed him without waking up properly.

LittleR1e · 23/08/2017 21:57

Hang on in there!

RainyDayBear · 23/08/2017 22:07

If it helps, my almost exclusively formula fed DD who is now 18 months old was and still is a bloody rubbish sleeper!! Formula is not some magical solution sadly.

If you want to keep breastfeeding, hang in there!

Allthewaves · 23/08/2017 22:10

Try offering boob more during the day. I had to work really hard on day feeds - offer boob every 2 hours, stripping down to feed, popping on changing mat when dosing off on the boob etc. Helped mine go longer at night. Also found big bottle of express milk gave by dh around 10pm let me go to bed about 8pm then not have to wake to feed until around midnight so go a good 4 hours unbroken sleep which made a huge difference

OhOurBilly · 23/08/2017 22:18

Everything I was going to say has already been said, and you are doing a brilliant job 🌹🌷🌸

Anecdonally, ds wasn't diagnosed with a "slight" posterior tongue tie until he was 18 weeks, I had one nipple which was always slightly more mangled than the other. I was told having it divided "probably wouldn't do much". I insisted it was done, I was on my knees by that point, and we were there, with rheumatoid consultant and the scissors... It was divided and the difference was immediate and amazing. I'm still bfing at almost 9 months.

MumsOnCrack · 23/08/2017 22:27

Bottle fed my DD and she woke every 45 mins to 1.5hrs for the first 10 weeks ish.

MetalMidget · 23/08/2017 22:32

My son was pretty much exclusively breastfed until he started weaning at six months. I won't lie - for the first 10 weeks it was very, very hard. My nipples were incredibly sore (despite latch, etc all being 'perfect'). And the cluster feeding... I remember crying because he'd been feeding pretty much non-stop for 13 hours solid (he had the odd 10-20 minute nap), and I was exhausted, in pain and in desperate need of a shower. But then one day I realised that it had stopped hurting, and he started to have more time off the breast so it didn't feel so relentless.

He's just over one now, and still breastfed in the mornings and evenings. He mostly sleeps through the night (illness and teething throws him some nights). I never meant to breastfeed for this long, but truth be told, I'll miss it when we stop!

Original poster

Writerwannabe83 · 24/08/2017 09:52

I'm feeling much more refreshed and positive this morning as DS was sooo much more settled last night and in the space of 13 hours I've had about 6.5 hour sleep in total spread out over three stints. I feel like a different woman. He was like a dream baby last night.

My mom is here now and she asked how the feeding was going and she said, "Just stick him on the bottle."

I told her that no, I wouldn't be doing that as she knew breast feeding was important to me. I admitted to her that in my struggles yesterday I nearly did give formula but then said I knew I would have regretted it and so didn't. I said it firm enough to let her know that suggestions to bottle feed were futile and not particularly wanted.

OP posts:

ExPresidents · 24/08/2017 10:26

Writer I'm so pleased to hear you had a good night, well done DS! It's amazing how a few good hours of sleep can make the world of difference.

Well done for your response to your mum, hope that's the end of her 'helpful' comments! And good for you for sticking with it, I really hope it's onwards and upwards for you both from here x

Original poster

Writerwannabe83 · 24/08/2017 12:42

I've got a breast feeding supporter coming to see me at 4.30pm tonight to assess my latch and attachment and discuss possible tongue tie.

My left nipple feels like it's constantly burning. He stirring for a feed now and I'm full of dread

OP posts:

ExPresidents · 24/08/2017 15:22

How's it going Writer was that feed ok?

I really remember that feeling of dread, I do empathise, I really hope the supporter can give you loads of helpful advice and check everything over.

With DS, the problem was that his latch itself was great, but he wasn't getting a big enough mouthful, I had to wait til he had his mouth wide open and then ram him on really quickly before he starting shutting it, otherwise he was getting the nipple and making it really sore. Once he started taking a deeper mouthful the pain really did stop and it all healed up.

I was also making it worse because I just wanted to get the feed over with so I would carry on even if it was painful, instead of taking him off and starting again, which is obviously the better course of action for long term gain! I hope that helps, really wishing you loads of luck for improvements soon x

Sallywiththegoodhurrr · 24/08/2017 15:32

I have 3 DC. DC1 was breastfed for a few days before bottle feeding and she slept through 12 hours from 6 weeks.

DC2 was exclusively breastfed and slept 12 hours from 6 weeks too.

DC3 was bottle fed from a few days old and still doesn't sleep through at 20 months. She obviously didn't get the memo

From my experience, feeding makes no difference to how they sleep (assuming there are no feeding issues). The best of luck OP

Original poster

Writerwannabe83 · 24/08/2017 21:09

The breast feeding peer support lady was really good and spent about an hour with me where she let me cry in her and then provide lots of advice and reassurance. She says that DS has a shallow latch and also some signs that indicate he may have a tongue tie.

I've got a Lactation Consultant coming to the house tomorrow lunch time for further feeding support and also for division of tongue tie if she feels DS has one.

I'm in the frame of mind that feeds overnight are going to hurt but that hopefully come this time tomorrow things will be a lot better.

OP posts:

ExPresidents · 30/08/2017 10:29

Writer have been thinking of you and hoping things have improved, did the consultant find any sign of tongue tie?

juliainthedeepwater · 30/08/2017 11:03

I have an 11 week old breastfed DS and had a similar issue in the first few weeks - he just wanted to be on me, (cluster)feeding or sleeping, day and night. I think this is really common, but the saviour for me was a Sleepyhead - he would sleep in it happily for an hour or two which gave me a much needed break occasionally (he's still in it now but for longer periods, phew!). The cluster feeding stage where they're establishing your supply is absolutely brutal, especially when you're already exhausted and sore from birth. I really hope things get easier for you, OP - from my experience they definitely do, but when I was in the eye of the storm I found that hard to believe!

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread