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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask about your bottle fed awful sleeper babies?

93 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 23/08/2017 06:15

I have a 7 day old EBF newborn and the nights are hellish Sad

I tend to get about 3 hours broken sleep in a 24 hour period with last night being the low point of me having had only 45 minutes sleep between midnight and now (06.00) Sad

The cluster feeding and screaming unless he's on me are unbearable and after three horrendous nights in a row I'm nearing my limit Sad

My mom, who is very anti breast feeding has been on my case about how I should just give formula and it will solve all my problems Hmm I really want to keep breast feeding though but her constantly going on at me, coupled with how vulnerable I feel because I'm so exhausted, I fear is going to lead me to give in.

I need to hear how formula isn't the answer and hear stories about formula fed babies who have been just as much a nightmare baby as an EBF one.

I just need to know that my mother isn't right Sad

OP posts:
TheMaddHugger · 23/08/2017 07:51

Ohh Sweetie (((((((( Big Hugs))))))))))))

My DD was breastfed and cried lots. My DS was Formula fed and Cried lots.

What I fed them had nothing to do this their cries It was Colic and Acid problems

TheMaddHugger · 23/08/2017 07:53

I'm talking about Hospital stay type colic and stomach issues. Oi

TheMaddHugger · 23/08/2017 07:53

Tell your Mum to sit on a cactus

MrsBobDylan · 23/08/2017 08:00

I know this really isn't the safest advice but with my first child the only way we could both sleep was with him on my front. I used a series of pillows to prop my body and arms in a position that wouldnt move once I was asleep. Eventually, he would sleep for periods on his front in his basket. I broke all the rules and the terror of something going wrong was horrible but I was just too desperate for sleep.

I didn't have to do that with my other two children and it transpired that ds1 had terrible reflux which he was medicated for at 8 months (when the gp finally took me seriously (sort of) because ds was throwing up his solid meals as well by then.

Congrats on your baby, it will get easier, I promise!

septembersunshine · 23/08/2017 08:03

My 4th baby was breastfeed (pumped milk) so from the bottle and was a terrible sleeper. I mean terrible from day one. He is one on Saturday and on formula since 6 months and he is still a hellish sleeper. He is up at least 3 times a night. Once I got 6 hours sleep and thought I'd one the lottery. Have sadly not repeated that experience!
I am trying sleep training, leaving him to self settle and he can do this. Had a jellycat rabbit blanket toy which is loves (rubs the ears on his chin) but he is still a night owl. He is incredible active (walking, now running!) so it's a mystery to me! you would think he would wear himself out. I have two friends with babies who sleep though at one and they are both not really waking, not that active. I don't know if that is related at all. I think sleep is down to teaching them to self-settle and not necessarily about how they are fed. plus, newborn days are hard how ever you are feeding them! it will pass :)

Ummmmgogo · 23/08/2017 08:05

I moved to formula and got even less sleep because then I had to oiss about making bottles. my children have slept equally badly on breast and bottle so think carefully before you switch from the washing up free feeding method. xx

NoWordForFluffy · 23/08/2017 08:07

Mine were both FF from 2 weeks' old as BF just wasn't working for us (DD was mix fed from a week). They actually both had milk allergies and were terrible sleepers! DD finally slept through at 8 months (the night before I went back to work!) and DS, now 3, is still a right royal pain in the arse!

kshaw · 23/08/2017 08:10

My 5 month old wakes 3 times a night for the bottle. Only takes 40ml but still wakes by the clock. Tried introducing a dummy and now wakes when it drops out...I've had to go back to work earlier than planned and DP works nights, we are leaving London in 2 months and need to find a house up north...one very tired mum!!!

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 23/08/2017 08:13

Thank you so much everyone Flowers

I've just woken up from an hours sleep and am feeling a little more positive after all your messages. I resorted to having DS in bed next to me (done safely) because there's just no other way I would get any sleep. After all the feeding my boobs feel like boulders. DS is still asleep in the middle of the bed and looking very cute.

I came home from hospital on Day 4 of his life, so last night was his third night at home. His first night home was awful and the Midwife said that horrendous first nights are pretty typical and things should start to get better.

My DH is a FANTASTIC support, he's doing everything around the house, all cares of DS1 etc. He's wonderful. He was incredible when I was struggling with learning to feed DS1 too.

My left nipple is cracked and bleeding and I was hoping to get to a BF clinic this morning that runs every Wednesday but it's Sod's Law that it's closed today. I'm not feeding off the left at the moment (just pumping to remove the milk) and so my poor right nipple is solely bearing the brunt of all this cluster feeding.

We are going to buy a SleepyHead today and see if that makes any difference.

I'm meant to be having a friend come over this afternoon but I really don't think I can face it, I just want to spend the day in bed Sad

OP posts:
CrohnicallyPregnant · 23/08/2017 08:15

Have you tried bedsharing? Maybe he will sleep better snuggled into you, you could also try feeding lying down. Just make sure you look up the safe sleeping guidelines for bedsharing and follow them.

you could also try offering the breast more frequently during the day- both my girls seemed to need the right number of feeds per 24 hours, and if they didn't get it during daylight they'd wake for it.

CrohnicallyPregnant · 23/08/2017 08:18

X post! Spend the day in bed! If you contact your midwife hopefully they can send a breastfeeding support worker round to your house- your DSs latch doesn't sound right if it's that painful. Any chance of tongue tie?

NoseyJosey · 23/08/2017 08:18

Sorry your clinic is closed. Don't forget you can get help from a good health visitor, midwife or even a pharmacist. Don't sit in agony.

Also the washing up free method is totally a bonus. Bf isn't really for me, but I so hate sterilising bottles. Do not under estimate getting up at 4am to make a bottle and having to wash, sterilise the bottles before making and then cooling the damn thing. All the time baby cries for milk, and the toddler wakes for the day... The grass is not always greener

Rockandrollwithit · 23/08/2017 08:20

Cancel the visit from your friend OP, and don't feel guilty about it. You need to put you and the baby first right now, there will be plenty of time for visits when you feel more settled.

My DS was FF from 3 days. He didn't sleep independently for 9 months! We ended up co-sleeping safely as the only option for sleep for any of us. After 9 months he seemed to decide that he wanted to sleep on his own and began sleeping 7-7 every night, which he still does now he is 3. It will get so much better, this beginning bit is the toughest Flowers

Laiste · 23/08/2017 08:26

Yes i was going to say bottles need cleaning, sterilising, storing. The feed needs warming and making up ect. Even if you're going to use the ready made formula you've still got all the faff with which milk? which teat? how many ounces? are they talking air? is this formula making him windy? making him constipated? making him runny? have got enough? can you go and get it? how long's the bottle been out? is this milk off now? do we need another fresh one? aaaarrrggghhh.

You're in the thick of it right now at a week old. This is the bit we all look back on and say - oooooh didn't really enjoy that bit. So ... be kind to yourself and do what ever it takes to make life ok in that minute, for that hour, for that afternoon or day or night. Cancel the world and stay in bed if you want to :) THIS PHASE WILL PASS SOON Flowers

Postmanpatisarubbishpostman · 23/08/2017 08:32

My two were bottle fed from a few weeks. Ds1 slept fine, ds2 never slept and if anything formula seemed to make him worse. I think he had cows milk intolerance.

Postmanpatisarubbishpostman · 23/08/2017 08:34

Also it's a shit loads of hassle washing, sterilising and making bottles.

Look, there's pros and cons to both methods, but the main thing is that you do what YOU want, not what your mother thinks.

Oly5 · 23/08/2017 08:36

My mum was also against bf and I believed her that my DD would be better on formula. He wasn't, he slept horrendously no matter what.
I then bf my dd2 happily for 16 months. Keep going, only a few more weeks til you're through the worst

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 23/08/2017 08:39

I did consider tongue tie but breast feeding is completely pain free on the right hand side so I think the painful feeding on the left side is due to me not attarching or positioning him correctly and was hoping for some tips and advice. My DH has gone out to buy me some nipple shields this morning so I can try and re-start feeding on the damaged side but prevent more trauma being caused at the same time. I pumped twice overnight and got about 100mls off each time in about ten minutes so I'm happy my supply is sufficient. I'm currentjy feeding DS on the good side and then I'm going to pump on the bad side again which is currently dropping milk out all over my bedsheets.

The level of cluster feeding last night was insane and putting that aside, he normally feeds about 13-14 times in a 24 hour period. Sometimes he has quick 5 minute snacks but they are mainly between 20-40 minutes long of good active feeding and in the daytime he goes straight to sleep afterwards.

We change his nappy about 8 times in a 24 hour period and he has always pooed and they are heavy with urine so all signs point to him getting enough milk.

I think we struggle with getting his wind up too which doesn't help so DH has bought some Infacol and we're trying to decide whether to start trying it.

I think I'm just feeling emotional. I had to have an emergency c/s so I'm still feeling sore from that, I'm exhausted and I miss spending time with my DS. And I feel guilty watching by DH struggle on and shoulder all household things when he's just as tired as I am. I know this phase I should only going to be temporary but it seems hard to envision anything better at the moment.

OP posts:
Postmanpatisarubbishpostman · 23/08/2017 08:41

It's is only temporary. I remember feeling exactly the same when ds2 came along.

JustMumNowNotMe · 23/08/2017 08:42

All babies are so different, and in my experience how you feed them has very little to do with it. DC1 was breastfed and slept through 10-6 from 6 weeks, 6-5 from 4 months. DC2 bottle fed, fed 2 hourly day and night until 6 months, then still woke 3 times plus until sleep trained. DC3 is blttle fed and sleeps 6-5, with a dreamfeed at 10pm, and has done since he was 6/7 weeks old, he's 8 months now. So all very different, it is down to the baby rather than the milk imo.

Ignore what other people want you to do, what do you want to do? Do what is besr for you and if thst means switching to formula so someone else can do night feeds too then do it, don't feel guilty Flowers

wineusuallyhelps · 23/08/2017 08:44

It's been a long time since I weathered the storm you're weathering, but could I recommend Lansinoh?

It is a MUST.

Breastfed three babies, the first through 5 weeks of cracked and bleeding nipples. Lansinoh (and the support of people around me of course!) saved us.

Good luck!

Rarotonga · 23/08/2017 08:50

YY to previous posts suggesting feeding lying down and safe cosleeping. It was a game changer for us. The La Leche league have a book called Sweet Sleep which is brilliant and outlines evidence and ways to do it safely. You can download on Kindle.

Good luck. It gets better x

Laiste · 23/08/2017 08:52

We used 'white noise' to get DD to sleep at night between feeds when we were at this stage. 9 times out of 10 it worked well and we would get an hour or two kip. Used to prop DHs phone near DD with white noise on quietly and pray. Plus a dummy.

Peachypie83 · 23/08/2017 08:52

I have a 4 month old (a preemie so 7 weeks old corrected). He is breast fed and feeds A LOT (every 40 minutes through the day) but has started sleeping better at night and will go 5 hours now which doesn't seem any different to other 7 week olds either breastfed or bottle fed. I do have down moments and have recently introduced a midday bottle just to break the snacking cycle he's in and give me a chance to actually do things once in a while but I'm not eager to move to bottles full time, the convenience of breastfeeding and being able to settle and comfort him instantly still seems preferable.
Congratulations on your new baby. Hopefully the cluster feeding begins to settle down soon x

Laiste · 23/08/2017 08:54

Oh, by the way there are lots of different white noises you can play. Different tones ect. We found one particular one did the trick for DD. So don't give up if the first doesn't work.

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