Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To be considering putting my dog down

158 replies

Bestdoggoever · 22/08/2017 16:25

Please be gentle. I just want to do what is right for him. I rehome my dog from another family a couple of years ago. When I got him he was very nervous and neglected, and would flinch a lot. He is now a confident happy dog, but due to circumstances completely beyond my control, I am moving into accommodation that will not allow him. I am very worried about rehoming him again, because of all he has been through, and because I couldn't be there to protect him if anyone tried to hurt him again. I am considering having him put down. However I am worried that I am being unduly influenced by my own past, in which my mom broke several of my bones and left me malnutritioned. I suppose I know there are fates worse than death, and I want to protect him. He is only four and my boyfriend thinks I am very wrong to be considering putting him down. But so just want what's best for him. Thank you

OP posts:
Booboostwo · 22/08/2017 16:50

Your feelings are not at all unreasonable. You rescued an abused animal and you are worried because you cannot ensure his future. I do think you are being a bit hasty.

Reconsider your accommodation...is it halls of residence? If yes, have you contacted them to explain the situation and see if they will allow you out of your contract? If it's a private landlord again get in touch and see if they would change their mind about a dog - maybe offer double the security deposit if you can afford it.

Do you see yourself being able to take the dog back in the near future? Why not see if someone can foster him? Contact all local small charities, they may have a foster place available.

Failing that I would look for a small rescue for him, somewhere where he can go to a foster family rather than kennels. Also try your FB feed you may get lucky with a friend of a friend, but inspect the home and situation before handing him over.

GahBuggerit · 22/08/2017 16:50

Don't be daft op no one puts a dog to sleep for this reason. Good lord you'd never forgive yourself it's so flaky!

Re-home. The dog will do fine as it's still young.

PersianCatLady · 22/08/2017 16:51

You took on a traumatised dog and gave him a home and owner that he loved and now you are moving away??

Speechless

JacquesHammer · 22/08/2017 16:52

@PersianCatLady are you really so blinkered you can't see how people's circumstances change?

PacificDogwod · 22/08/2017 16:53

I'm glad you are getting understanding replies.

IME people who opt to have rescue animals want to do right by them.
Rehoming him is an option and one you should explore.
He is far more likely to find a loving home than an abusive one.

Breed rescues can also be very valuable sources of information.

I truly hope and wish that you are a kind and caring to yourself as you are to your dog Thanks

sourpatchkid · 22/08/2017 16:53

@Bestdoggoever you take care love. I promise there is more good than bad out there Flowers

(Congrats on starting uni by the way Smile)

Mummyoflittledragon · 22/08/2017 16:54

You may be able to find someone to take him. I really would try that first. My fil has a dog, who'd been abused. He's now had a very happy life. There are plenty of people out there willing to take a dog on. A couple of years ago, I met someone with the dog she was fostering from a local charity. She told me how they operate. I'm sure he went to a good home. I spoke to her at some length. She was very loving and caring.

StickThatInYourPipe · 22/08/2017 16:54

OP I have Sent you a PM

PacificDogwod · 22/08/2017 16:54

RTFT, peeps, and don't just post a knee-jerks response to the OP.
There's more to it.

SomeBerryJam · 22/08/2017 16:55

Ok, so I think this is a very sad read. I'm sorry about your brother op and your awful past. However, please, please, please don't put your dog down. There will definitely be someone out there who can give him a lovely home. Plus you can have a say who has him, if you work with a rescue or rehoming shelter.

And I also think some comments are downright savage. Really no need for it.

Prettyvacant2003 · 22/08/2017 16:56

Hi, if you're anywhere near Cambridgeshire there is a fab rehoming centre near me, I'd gladly give you details. We rescued our pup last year, she's approximately 6 and hopefully has lots of years left yet. I understand this is a really difficult situation for you to be in, but please consider rehoming. Best of luck.

RebeccaWithTheGoodHair · 22/08/2017 16:57

IME people who opt to have rescue animals want to do right by them.

A great point there OP. Two of mine are rescues, one of whom had a start not unlike your poor dog. She came from a breed rescue and I was thoroughly checked out before she could come home with us. I have never regretted having her despite how long it has taken to get her to where she is now, she melts my heart with how trusting and sweet she is despite everything she's been through.

But I do stick by what I said earlier that only you know how your dog would cope without you in his/her life and that sometimes being PTS is not the worst thing.

BlueKarou · 22/08/2017 16:57

You need to start looking for a rescue that will take him asap so you can manage his hand over. Do not put him down - there are many people in the country able to work with a nervous dog, and 4 is really young in the scheme of things.

If you look at a rescue called Many Tears you will see that they regularly rescue and rehome much older dogs from puppy farms who are much less socialised with humans, but they work with them to rehab, and rehome them where a calm adult dog is also present which often helps the nervous dog.

Putting him down should be the very last option, and it does not sound like it's come to that.

Can you let us know your rough area (county, maybe) so anyone with any knowledge of local rescues could offer suggestions?

Middleoftheroad · 22/08/2017 16:58

OP glad you are reading the posts and are open to changing your mind. You have had difficult times and so has he - but both have lots of time ahead.
It saddens me to think he could be put down.

Please do rehome him. Give him the chance. Please.

Mummyoflittledragon · 22/08/2017 17:01

I'm so sorry your brother has died. You must be feeling really terrible and on top of this you don't know what to do with your lovely dog Flowers

Montsti · 22/08/2017 17:03

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. This repeats a previously deleted post. Talk Guidelines.

MNHQ
KatherineMumsnet · 22/08/2017 17:04

Hi all,

We don't have any reason to believe the OP isn't genuine, so please report to us rather than airing doubts on the thread.

If there's anything we could all do with, it's some support - AIBU really isn't meant to be a free-for-all.

Thanks Flowers

GahBuggerit · 22/08/2017 17:05

I think I given op has only had the dog for a couple of short years, and when she got him he was nervous but is now largely fine (lots of dogs are jumpy with strangers for instance), it's probably not the case that op knows this dog completely and what it can handle. Pts shouldn't even be an option here but it sounds to me like op isn't going to do that anyway, thankfully!

Re-home op via a proper rescue so he won't end up in dodgy hands, pooch will do just fine, dogs can be quite resilient, especially as hes young and you've only had him for a relatively short time anyway.

Astella22 · 22/08/2017 17:07

Your only considering putting the poor mite down to ease your own mind NOTHING to do with what's best for doggie! Please rehome him and at least give him a chance at life and please don't ever consider getting another pet. There should be a law ....

RebeccaWithTheGoodHair · 22/08/2017 17:08

Harsh but fair IMO....this seems to be happening so much. I just wish people would really think hard before getting pets....yes circumstances change (it does sound as though you were always going to give the dog away, albeit to a family member so why get one in the first place if you were off to uni?) but considering pts a healthy, young dog is just cruel beyond belief. If I lived in the uk, I would offer to have your dog rather than it being put down...

Montsi think it through ...

  • where would the poor dog be now if the OP hadn't given him/her a home?
  • where does she say she planned not to keep him/her? You must have read a different thread to me
  • you suggest she should hand over her beloved friend to a stranger off the internet who could be anyone and she'd never know what happened to him/her
  • being PTS is not the cruellest thing ever, some dogs just cannot cope without being with the one person they trust and need. That is a fact
Ceto · 22/08/2017 17:08

Look at it this way. Would you adopt a child, and then plan to move home, but then find out the accommodation you were moving to doesn't allow kids? (Because it's true, some houses and apartment blocks don't allow kids) Would you then just give back the child?

Don't be silly bakesaleLoser, or at least RTFT. OP is going to university, unsurprisingly university accommodation doesn't allow pets, she had a perfectly sensible alternative in place via her brother looking after the dog. It's only because of his death - which in itself must be incredibly hard to deal with - that this situation has arisen. It's in no way comparable to adopting a child.

As for the suggestion from someone else that she can just give up her accommodation and find an alternative - what do you suggest she uses for money? With a dog in tow, she's unlikely to be able to share with other students unless she's extremely lucky, and it wouldn't be fair on the dog if she's out at lectures, seminars etc all day.

Siwdmae · 22/08/2017 17:09

Tricky, but horse people may say the same ie PTS rather than re-home. I'd want to if I needed to get rid of the horse, because you lose all control over what happens to an animal and frankly, it might actually be best for the animal, particularly of a new owner will disregard an old injury, for example.

However, I think if he has no health issues, I'd attempt a re-home and echo the NAWT of there's one on your area.

FeelingAggrieved · 22/08/2017 17:13

Definitely unreasonable to do that. Please don't.

JoshLymanJr · 22/08/2017 17:15

Lots of people coming to this thread to show just how virtuous and outraged they are, without having to go to the hassle of reading (or thinking) properly.

Helloandgoodbye445 · 22/08/2017 17:17

Why don't you take the time to find a suitable person to give it a loving home?
Rather than sentence it to death?