To throw water over my son to get him up in the mornings?

[PurpleLostPrincess]

We've hit the teenage years with a bang! DS is nearly 13 and he is growing at an amazing rate (he's 5foot 7inches with size 12 feet). He used to wake up at 6am without fail, he was just one of those early risers! His bedtime is 9.30pm and he really struggles to sleep. We've redecorated his room to make it more comfortable with a new bed and we do him horlicks at bedtime...

It doesn't seem to matter what we do, he just won't get up in the mornings!! I get up at 6.30am and wake him but its usually 7.15 by the time he can be bothered to get up properly. He has always been a nightmare in the mornings and I've just accepted that its a boy thing but I try to encourage him by putting up a schedule of what needs doing and when. If he doesn't get ready, he makes his sister late for school and me late for work. (he has also had detentions for lateness).

Lately, I've been putting my head through the door and throwing about half a cup of water all over him and his bed - certainly gets him up! Is this unreasonable? (he doesn't seem to think so).

sorry, he DOES think its unreasonable (pg brain!)

LOL, how about leaving him in his pit and just you and dd getting on with it? Let him take the consequences.

That would mean he doesn't go to school which would make his day but I'd get into trouble in the long run if I just let him get away with it. I drop them both off by car as school is a long way off and the bus would just cost lots of money and he'd still be late...

Then no its not unreasonable

Thank you

My ds is 12 and the same!But I would never throw water over him I think its a bit disrespectful to do that to your own child Sorry

No need to apologise, you're entitled to your opinion and the whole point in me starting this was to get opinions.

Do you mind if I ask how you manage to get him up?

I can imagine me doing the same, especially when my childs actions are effecting everyone else. Very simply it would be get out of bed or else.
And if they were still in bed then...well, they should have got up.

Have you spoken to him about strategies that would help him get up? Alarm clock at the other side of the room that he has to get up to switch off etc?
Maybe you could tell him that for every morning he doesn't get up on time, you'll move his bedtime forward by ten minutes?
Or maybe he just takes a while to wake up, and therefore needs to be woken at 6:15am in order to get up slowly.
My mother used to come in and take my duvet into another room. It was such an unpleasant way to wake up, and just made me grumpy and resentful, TBH.

Isn't it a problem that the pillow gets soaked? That would bother me...

How about an alarm clock - less messy?

Yes, this is a big topic of conversation with him and we have discussed lots of different things. He has an array of alarm clocks but none of them seem to work, he also sets his mobile phone alarm.

We have a rule that if he isn't ready on time (we leave at 8am), he is grounded for that night but it doesn't really have much effect.

I've tried waking him much earlier but that doesn't seem to help either!!!

I started off lightly spraying him rather than throwing water as I was concerned about the bed getting wet but that didn't work as he just hid under his duvet and I don't want to get into a physical encounter. I try to make sure that I just get him wet and not his bed and if the bed gets wet (always seem to avoid the pillow successfully), I make sure it is aired throughout the day and dry before he goes to bed... I only use a bit of water in the bottom of a small plastic cup - enough to startle him into getting up...

Does he have a stereo in his room?? My grand parents (they brought me up) used try all other meathod of waking me up gently and they all failed so they would sneak in turn the stereo on and whack the music up full blast then leave whilst taking my duvet with them, I didn't resent them for it, I was a complete pain in the arse to get up, still am really!

Neil Diamond or Bucks Fizz on the stereo - nice and loud and great idea about taking the quilt with you.

Probably no to the water throwing though!

Oh well in that case I don't think you're being at all unreasonable!
LOL at an array of alarm clocks. If he hasn't learned to wake with one or more of those, then yup, I might use water too. He needs to learn to be responsible for himself. Having said that, I'd hate to get up that early too.

Shame you then have to faff around airing the duvet though.

I would be interested to know how you get him IN to bed in the first place.

Yes, we've tried that but he just gets up to turn it off then gets back into bed - its not so much waking him, its getting him to get out of bed and stay out of bed. Not sure if I'd want to try taking his duvet as we'd end up fighting physically over it and I'm not too keen on that...

Sorry if I'm sounding awkward, I really do appreciate the ideas you're all giving.

I beginning to think that the water is the only option now though...

LOL slowreader! He's not too bad for going to bed but he does struggle to get to sleep and wakes a few times in the night. So far, I've been convinced its a teenage thing with his body going through all sorts of changes etc. We encourage him to have a good bedtime routine as I have always done - shower, horlicks, tidy room etc.

My dh (his step dad) is an insomniac and I've started to wonder if its catching lol!

So if actually waking him isn't a problem, why does the water work?

Shower before bedtime? Guaranteed to wake me up I have to say...!

I read something on the brain and teenagers this morning. I'm not sure I'm allowed to quote so I'll just summarise. The brain is expanding at a huge rate. Parents need to offer firm guidance during teenage years. Maturity develops later in the growing process. It's better to link an undesirable behaviour (i.e. not getting to a class in time or at all) to a short term consequence (i.e. a ban on tv/computer) rather than a longer term punishment (we won't help you with uni costs.) Provide discipline and structure but allow flexibility. Relax when they are being mature and tighten up again when they slip back. Be aware of the power of the peer group at this stage of development. Encourage friends who behave themselves. Let teenagers sleep in whenever possible. They need more than 9 hours sleep a night to produce the hormones that are responsible for growth. The paper refers to a book, The Owner's Manual For The Brain by Pierce J Howard though I'm not sure that the teenage stuff is in it. Hth. Oh, and I'd hate it if someone threw water over me. I know someone who has had it done to them by a sibling and it didn't go down well.

He likes a warm shower which makes him sleepy (I have suggested he have one in the morning but he prefers to have it at bedtime, plus he takes about half an hour which would put the whole house into turmoil waiting for the bathroom lol!).

IMO, the water works because it means he can't just snuggle back down into his duvet. Plus a short, quick, cold shock gets him up and about!

I'm interested to know if anybody else has done this or tried this as it seems to be the only thing that works but at the same time, it feels a bit drastic! While he thinks it is unreasonable, he says he doesn't resent me for it...

I think the horlicks is to blame....

peaches, what did you wear to your interview?

Maybe turn on main room light, and take quilt from him. Does he not get everything ready the night before so he doesnt have to rush? Can you do reward, like every morning he gets ready on time he gets, extra pocket money or extra time up at weekends?
L