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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To throw water over my son to get him up in the mornings?

83 replies

PurpleLostPrincess · 31/03/2007 09:18

We've hit the teenage years with a bang! DS is nearly 13 and he is growing at an amazing rate (he's 5foot 7inches with size 12 feet). He used to wake up at 6am without fail, he was just one of those early risers! His bedtime is 9.30pm and he really struggles to sleep. We've redecorated his room to make it more comfortable with a new bed and we do him horlicks at bedtime...

It doesn't seem to matter what we do, he just won't get up in the mornings!! I get up at 6.30am and wake him but its usually 7.15 by the time he can be bothered to get up properly. He has always been a nightmare in the mornings and I've just accepted that its a boy thing but I try to encourage him by putting up a schedule of what needs doing and when. If he doesn't get ready, he makes his sister late for school and me late for work. (he has also had detentions for lateness).

Lately, I've been putting my head through the door and throwing about half a cup of water all over him and his bed - certainly gets him up! Is this unreasonable? (he doesn't seem to think so).

OP posts:

Furball · 31/03/2007 10:56

A clock radio with a snooze button? Or switch it to the buzzer really loud and leave it in the corner of his room so he has to get up to turn it off.

fortyplus · 31/03/2007 10:59

ds1 is 13 - goes to bed at 9 - 9.30pm and needs to be up by 7.30am to get to school on time. He usually wakes about 7 or 7.15, so TBH it sounds as tho your son just isn't getting enough sleep.

Mine knows that if he isn't ready by 8 he has to walk to school - dh drives right past school on his way to work so gives them a lift if they're ready to go when he wants to leave. School is a 25 min walk and registration is at 8.40 so they'd need to leave soon after 8 to get there on time.

I can't imagine throwing water over mine - but they have the incentive of the lift to school to encourage them to be ready. They usually walk home now that the lighter evenings have arrived.

Original poster

PurpleLostPrincess · 31/03/2007 11:00

Thank you for that info SimplySparkling, it has reassured me because we try to keep to those principles at least! I think I'll have a bit of a look for that book as it could be helpful.

OP posts:

SimplySparkling · 31/03/2007 11:04

You're welcome. The book is expensive at £17.99 but I usually ask at the library and, if they don't have it, I pay 50p for them to order it in for me. I don't think they can do it for every book but it saves me a packet.

josben · 31/03/2007 11:06

My mum used to throw water over my brother to get him up in the mornings - so i can relate and sympathise with you, and i don't think you're being unreasonable at all - teenage boys can be a nightmare to wake up! i've got 2 DS's 4 & 5 so i've got all this to come!!

josben · 31/03/2007 11:08

Forgot to say that my brother is now a happy healthy 36 year old and has a great relationship with our mum, so it didn't seem to do any harm!

noddyholder · 31/03/2007 11:17

We bought the most annoying loud alarm clock you have ever heard from habitat and placed it on the other side of his room!

CAM · 31/03/2007 11:32

I think its absolutely appalling to throw water over anybody who is asleep let alone a dependent child.

Why not sit by his bed and wake him gently with a few kind words and a big cuddle.

JanH · 31/03/2007 11:34

Don't know if anyone else has said this but if he is actually asleep when you go in, just yank the duvet off him and run away before he has a chance to hang on to it.

Otherwise draw the curtains, open the window and put a very loud radio (R2 or 3 prob best) just inside the door.

Original poster

PurpleLostPrincess · 31/03/2007 11:38

I don't think I've explained very well - he is awake but just won't get up. I wouldn't dream of throwing water over him while asleep, he is wide awake but just refuses to get out of bed!

OP posts:

CAM · 31/03/2007 11:42

Oh but that's just as appalling.

powder28 · 31/03/2007 11:49

My dad used to bring me a cup of tea and a biscuit in the morning to wake me up. seemed to work

Spidermama · 31/03/2007 11:51

H ecan't help getting up late. It's his hormones.

I would be very angry if my mum did this to me.

Spidermama · 31/03/2007 11:52

A person's bed is their sanctuary and you are intruding into his private space with an agressive act.

Original poster

PurpleLostPrincess · 31/03/2007 12:01

I agree that its not his fault that his hormones are playing havoc with his body - hence starting this thread.

We want to support him and find ways for him to take responsibility for himself and the effect that his behaviour has on other people.

We are trying to work with him but even he admits that this is a downfall that needs to be dealt with - just as much for him as anybody else in the house.

Well, he's got 2 weeks off school now so I guess we've got that time to talk about it and come up with an alternative. Of course, I won't be getting him up over the holidays at all - he can lie in bed as much as he wants! My concern is that he likes to stay up late in the holidays - maybe he's just a nighttime person? But then, even night time people have to get up for work/school in the mornings!

OP posts:

JanH · 31/03/2007 12:05

Trouble is, if he stays up late and sleeps all morning during the holidays it'll be even harder for you to get him up when he goes back to school.

Is he aware that if you leave it up to him, and he doesn't go to school, you will ultimately be in trouble?

JanH · 31/03/2007 12:08

Spidermama and Cam, why is it so appalling to do something "aggressive" to make him do what he should be doing without help? He is nearly 13, HE IS AWAKE, he is just refusing to get out of bed, and causing a lot of trouble to the rest of the family - why shouldn't he be made to get up?

What he is doing is aggressive (only in a passive way, obv).

anorak · 31/03/2007 12:09

That's as maybe Spidermama, the bald fact is that PLP will be sent to prison if she doesn't get him to school. Where is her son's respect for that little fact?

IMO this thread is PLP asking for any ideas to use as an alternative to the water, something constructive to help her fulfil her obligation as a responsible parent. I wouldn't criticise her as I can't offer a reasonable constructive alternative.

Children have all the power nowadays. They are allowed to behave in any manner they choose and the parent has to be responsible for it.

mm22bys · 31/03/2007 12:09

My grandmother apparently did this to my mother when she was doing something similar oh say 50 years ago?

It got her out of bed, but no other damage was done!

Good luck....

Spidermama · 31/03/2007 12:10

Some people really are night time people.
I'm one. We're biologically different from the early birds. Our cortisone peaks at different times.

There are nightowls and larks and a whole spectrum in between.

I seem to remember seeing a programme about how its unnatural for teenagers to wake up early. It was to do with how their hormones are affecting them and how they find it almost impossible to go to bed early as they just aren't tired and therefore they find it hard to get up.

Spidermama · 31/03/2007 12:12

Sorry. That doesn't help you much. I didn;t read all the thread so I didn't realise the issue about getting him to school.

JustUsTwo · 31/03/2007 12:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

anorak · 31/03/2007 12:15

I'm with you there, Spidermama, I'm a night owl too. But we have to force ourselves out of bed in the morning and so does a teenager.

I could never understand why my mum used to nag me to get up on Saturdays though. Just for fun, probably.

JustUsTwo · 31/03/2007 12:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

anorak · 31/03/2007 12:17

My Dad always leaves a pair of pants on the floor next to the bed. When he wakes up he pulls them into the bed and warms them up, then puts them on before braving the ditching of the covers.

It works for him.

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