Hi, name changed as I'm embarrassed.
I'm one of 4 (youngest by 7 yrs as I was an accident). I'm now nearly 40 and both parents are in early 70s, divorced 30yrs ago. Mom single and dad been with his partner 25 plus yrs. she has a disabled child who lives with them from her previous relationship.
I had dd1 2.5 yrs ago and dd2 5 months ago.
My parents have seen my eldest a handful of times between them. My dad 3 or 4 times and my mom 5or 6. My mother has met my youngest when a sibling came over and brought her along too, twice. Neither parent calls or seems at all interested (in me or the children). My siblings say they care in their own way (they have same treatment) and that I'm being over sensitive and unreasonable.
My dad has not yet met my 5 month old. No phone calls or messages since my husband called to tell him dd2 had arrived.
It was dd1s 2nd birthday in June. My siblings and their (older) kids didn't come as their kids and them didn't fancy a kids party- they didn't come to his 1st either. My mom didn't come as she is reliant on a lift from one of them. My dad did come with gf and her disabled son. This time around none of them came. I fairness, my dad was invited via a fb even if set up and on checking, it doesn't look like he saw the invite. He did send a card and £10 in the post (which is the same across the board for all gcs).
My husband has no dad as he died. Mil is interfering and we don't get on. She lords it over me and dh when we have asked for her help (twice) because she knows we have no one else. Dh has a brother with a child same age as our eldest daughter - mil has that hv 2 days a week yet sees ours once a fortnight. Dh challenged her on this (she lives on the next street) and she said she helps them more because they get so much help from sil family so she feels she has to do her share. She said she helps us less because my parents do nothing so anything she does for us is still more than what my family do and we 'need to remember that'.
I feel so hurt at every angle.
I was going to call my dad today and invite him to meet dd2 and see dd1 but I don't know if it's the right thing to do. He lives the other side of town and had a stroke so is now a nervous driver. He would have to get the train....but then so would I as I don't drive (and I have two young children!)
My dh doesn't want me to bother. His view is my parents do nothing so not to bother with them. He is angry and says he's embarrassed by my family's total lack of input. I am too tbh.
My siblings all have kids and I have always been the aunt that played with them, entertained them etc....but now I have children and theirs are older they aren't bothering with mine.
Sorry for long post. I feel very sad but talking to my siblings results in them telling me to man up (I'm a woman but you know what I mean) and accept they won't change. I know my parents think this is totally normal behaviour but surely to god it's the polar opposite?!
How can I feel better about this?