Who is right!? DH or I???

[MrsLuckStephens]

Hello! DS is going to university in September. He's doing a foundation year (he will be at university 3 days a week) before he does the actual degree.

We live in Chelmsford and he'll need to go to Luton.

DH says it's an easy commute and he can do that. I say that it's far too long! It seems to be just under 2 hours. DH says it's fine as it's just 3 days a week...

DS says he would rather stay at home (he says that most people will be at full-time university) but thinks it might be a bit too long to commute (he would move out for year 1-3) but says it might be okay for year 0.

Who is right?

There are 2 people in the graduate programme at work who commute from chelmsford to London. I have a 4 hour each way commute to/from London. Your DH is right he will manage it. If he can't then how on earth will he cope as a commuter (I doubt there are many jobs in chelmsford!!)

I think that he has to move when he's ready. Only you can decide whether he's s person that quickly moved on from initial fears, or if it takes him a long time. Think back to other times he had started something, whether it was when he moved to secondary, or started a new hobby, etc. an increasing number of first year students drop out or suffer with mental health problems derived from anxiety. Not saying it will be the case with yours, as he would only be away two nights, but I'm mentioning because I see too many posters going on the route of "send him, he'll adapt". I know first hand by working with first year undergraduates. The pressure now is way more than it was. Not only the debt is bigger and the prospects of finding work later smaller, but many students have not had to deal with any "adult tasks" before this and things that before might have been more common through working before 18yo, such as budgeting, organising one's schedule and turning up on time in the morning, for some students this is a huge mountain. I'd think your DS would benefit from staying out there, but if the foundation course has not many people doing his degree, it would not matter that much anyway, as he will likely make new friends next year. For setting friendships and adapting to the new life, the first 2-3 weeks of each semester are critical. The ones in Semester 1 because it's such a change, the ones in Semester 2 because after spending time at home for Christmas they often are more homesick.

Good luck!

Even if he stays just 2 nights a week it will make an enormous difference - commuting is dead time.
If he has a late lecture he will end up traveling, eating, sleeping and then traveling again - waste of time.

If he stays over at least he can get work done and free up rest of week to earn money.

Can't hold back...... it's DH or me....

I think it depends whether he could work on the train. If he will get a seat and a table then it's certainly doable. If not- not.

Honestly it's not that far by car. Especially if he is able to avoid peak travel. Which he might be able to some days depending upon lectures.... I live 25 mins from Chelmsford and 45 from Luton.. .

I'd recommend he avoids Harlow and takes the A1060 to Sawbridgeworth or carries onto Bishop's Sorttford & picks up the A120 A10 to Hertford