To think it's pointless going back to work?

[hiimmumma]

I'm on maternity leave and it's coming to an end.
I had asked my employer if I could have some additional unpaid leave to take me to the end of the year but they said no. (I was upset but I know it's beyond my entitlement).
I've asked for flexible working 4 days a week which is taking them a long time to come back to me about, despite the fact that 50% of the staff in the same or similar rolls do this. Including 2 people that have returned from mat leave this year.
n.b I have worked at this company for 11 years including 24/7 email and phone availability, some long hours 36+ hours straight on rare occasions when required.
Above and beyond.
A usual day would be 9/9:30 - 6:30
Getting me home at 7pm
DH works in the same field and hours are

I get paid a decent salary but I'm looking into childcare options and whatever I do I seem to only come with £250 once over deducted childcare costs. And my travel would be £120 for the month.

So really what's the point?
How do people do it?

even more unreliable. He is on 100% commission so only gets paid if he works. Pays very well when he is working but have had 2 months this year with no work. So would have to live very tightly if we were to go onto one income, and he would be very stressed.

Aibu to just call it a day on my career and put all the pressure on my Husband to make enough money?
I don't think I'm ready, but I also don't want to miss out on seeing my child grow up for the sake of £80 a month!
Any advice would be appreciated.

@Ewanwhosearmy
I did not know that!! I'll register asap.
Thanks

If you like (other people's) children, you could also apply for jobs at nurseries / primary schools as part of non-teaching staff, it depends on your interests and what you are doing now. That would give you more time with children in the long term. You could apply to work in the kitchen, or the library, as TA (qualifying on the job), general support staff, etc. When we looked around in schools, I was surprised to see that many had some part time support person to do things like organising the arts room, helping to take snacks to the rooms, etc. Worth thinking if that's something you'd like. Or being a childminder, qualifications are not expensive and you could look after your child whilst earning some money, in my area they charge £7/h/child and finish at 5:00-5:30pm

Sounds like a plan OP. Glad you've made the formal request.

Have you thought about a live-in nanny for a year or so? I had one for my son which really eased my mind about going back to work. It meant my son was cared for in his home environment, it wasn't too stressful if I was back late from work, and then by age 2.5 he was definitely ready for nursery - and excited by it! It was also cheaper than many other forms of childcare.
I agree that the first few years of childcare fees suck but it does get much easier and better and more of your cash is your own

I'm glad you have a plan. I think it's a very common situation (in my case after 2nd child), but it's only 2 years until your dc is 3 and nursery fees will drop dramatically.

Sounds a very sensible plan... you won't know how things will pan out until you try it, and you may find it's good to be back in the workplace. And when you're back in and your boss remembers how great you are, hopefully that flexible working request will get you the hours you want too. Always easier to go part time from when you're on the inside already

You will have a lot of trouble getting back into work with a big hole in your CV.

That's not necessarily true and seems a bit scaremongery to me!

People should consider this before having children. Most realise that childcare costs are huge for the first few years, meaning it's not really worth it. But they take the long term view.

I'd just like to add that your kids will grow up - barring any unforeseen complications - and they will become more and more independent before flying the nest. Make sure that whatever you do, whether it's staying at home or going to work, that you continue to invest in yourself as a person. There are too many women who try to live through their children and haven't much left when they fly the nest.

I was more or less in your situation. Two in a child minder, train fares and I was left with £48 a month. Why did I keep doing it? Well I was in a very nice pension scheme, I had access to private medical, I also had share options but more importantly with length of service I was accruing redundancy pay.

The way I looked at it, I'd have been plotless with out working, so I may as well be pot less working, having social interaction, getting free training and keeping my CV filled

I hope your meeting with work goes well OP. Even if they refuse reduced hours, I would go back and start looking for a new job. It is far easier to find a job from another job than from unemployment. I had a 2 month gap on my CV and got so many questions about it.

I was very glad of my career when my marriage fell apart. i work full time with two children, it is tough but doable and as I am senior have been able to negotiate flexibility I haven't missed any school events. Stick at it!

Thanks
I do think I'll be looking for another job. Even just the way they have handled my return from maternity leave makes me not want to work there anymore. Especially after 11 years of good service, I thought they would be a bit more accommodating - it's a small company.

I can't get a live in nanny or au pair. We just don't have a space but if we did it then I would definitely have looked into that as an option.

And for those who have suggested my husband stay at home instead, he earns nearly double than I do even taking into account the two months he had this year without work.
He works on a project by project basis and so needs to be available for the duration of the project to secure the work. Sometimes that means working over weekends and late nights, and some travel too so he might be away for chunks of he week. It's not really an option to rely on him to be at home for childcare unfortunately. He would love to if he could!

and to the poster who said 'people should think about this before having children' we hadn't planned to have a baby yet. We were happy when it happened but it was a case of failed contraception. I wanted to be in a much better place financially first, but life doesn't always pan out the way you want.

Thanks to everyone for the advice and support. I am feeling much better about thinks now I can see it's for the long term. Also I do get private healthcare which I completely forgot about so there's another plus for going back. Need to check is DS is covered too..