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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think this about UK punting

115 replies

equitation · 21/08/2017 15:41

All middle aged balding men trying to have sex with 18 year olds? I have an 18 year old DD and I find it gross. How can this be allowed to go on?

OP posts:
SporadicSpartacus · 27/12/2017 08:22

I did have a look around UKPunting a while back - curiosity and train-wreck syndrome (knowing it’s awful but not being able to look away). It was both fascinating and utterly, utterly depressing.

Indigo911 · 27/12/2017 08:24

I had a peek too and there was a thread on there discussing how they get plenty of sex with their wives but still choose to punt and spend thousands on it a year because they just want to be able to have sex with younger women with firmer bodies. Nice!

BattleCunt · 27/12/2017 08:24

@SporadicSpartacus

Offering it on the NHS means someone will still need to be paid for their time providing the service, so that's a moot point.

Now, of course disabled men might be capable of seeking out sexual satisfaction without the aid of a sexworker, I didn't say they couldn't. However, it's an option for many and there's no reason why it shouldn't be explored.

Also - the majority of service seekers are men, so yes for the most part, this mostly applies to men. This is not to say some women do not seek male escorts for example, they can and do, but it is not as widespread as men seeking female escorts, for example.

Indigo911 · 27/12/2017 08:26

I would say that disabled punters are probably in the minority. Most of the ones my friend saw when she was an escort years ago where middle aged married men

BattleCunt · 27/12/2017 08:27

@Indigo911 - yes quite often despite some men being incredibly sexually satisfied with their partners, they still seek out sexworkers, for whatever reason. It's why the industry has always and will always exist.

Indigo911 · 27/12/2017 08:27

I know it will always exist. But that doesn’t stop me from thinking some of the men who use sex workers are pathetic

Humpsfor20yards · 27/12/2017 08:29

Ooh I appreciate your input too, whiskey! Fascinating!

  1. The women you had sex with orgasmed- they had hard nipples.
  2. You're not a pathetic loser.

You really have changed my perception of punters radically. Grin

BattleCunt · 27/12/2017 08:29

@Indigo911 middle aged married men do indeed make up a good deal of the demographic seeking sexworkers. A sexworker isn't there to judge, they do their job and move on. There's plenty of judgement from everyone else on this subject.

BattleCunt · 27/12/2017 08:32

@Indigo911 I generally find it quite pathetic that it means so much to an individual as to what they think about other people's sex lives. It's absolutely nobody else's business.

People get lonely. People might not have a lot of confidence. It's no wonder that people aren't confident when society at large deems them pathetic for hiring a sexworker. Funny that.

Indigo911 · 27/12/2017 08:32

@battlecunt there’s a hell of a lot of judgement about the punters from the sex workers on the saafe forum. They have all sorts of threads about all the annoying things the punters do, how unhygienic a lot of them are and how crap they are in bed

Indigo911 · 27/12/2017 08:34

@battle so you don’t think it’s pathetic of the ones on ukpunting spouting bollocks about how their wives give them plenty of great sex but they still choose to punt?! Ok then.
I’m not talking about the ones who use sex workers because of things like disabilities or chronic lonliness. I’m talking about the vile people on ukpunting who speak about women in such a horrible way

BattleCunt · 27/12/2017 08:35

@hesterton - people get joy out of many things, including seeing sexworkers. Sometimes self satisfaction isn't enough, and someone might seek out intimacy with another person. There's nothing wrong with that.

streetlife70s · 27/12/2017 08:35

I agree with you indigo. I guess I have a low opinion of men who do largely because the majority are married or with a partner but still want ‘just a body’ to selfishly satisfy themselves. They don’t know whether the girls have been trafficked and, so so many of them truly think they are sex gods and the girls have orgasms with them when in fact, it is largely men who are unable to connect with women who use them. The girls know exactly what to say and do.

I can’t get worked up over it, each to their own but I’d never be involved with anyone if discovered they’d paid someone for sex, I think it really says something about that person.

Indigo911 · 27/12/2017 08:36

@battle there is something wrong with it though when the majority of punters are married. If their partners aren’t giving them the intimacy that they need then they should work on that or leave them. Not go and spend thousands shagging 21 year olds behind their backs

Humpsfor20yards · 27/12/2017 08:39

It's no wonder that people aren't confident when society at large deems them pathetic for hiring a sexworker

Grin

Women, you should respect punters more. How dare you have negative opinions about men who buy sex? It's your fault.

Indigo911 · 27/12/2017 08:42

A lot of the men on ukpunting definitely don’t seem lacking in confidence. The majority of them seem to have massive egos, and reading their reviews they clearly think they can give the sex workers multiple orgasms throughout the bookings too. It’s laughable

ConfusedNoMore · 27/12/2017 08:44

@hesterton has it. Power. They like buying women.

It is not a mutual exchange with respect and private between two consenting adults therefore nobody else's business. It's far more complicated when men have families.

My Exh is on Ukpunting. I won't say how I found out but undoubtedly him. He had prostitutes in our home, in our bed while I was away visiting family with our baby. (A woman he suspected had drug addiction too I might add) . This was a definite statement. He hated me. He hates the sex workers. He hates women. He wants to degrade them and get one over them. The way women are discussed on that website is vile.

BattleCunt · 27/12/2017 08:44

@Indigo911 yes there is a lot of judgement from sexworkers towards clients too - and what tends to happen there is that they don't get a lot of repeat business when clients learn what they've said about them. A really good sexworker keeps that to themselves, although to be honest, when people work in jobs that aren't the sex industry, they tend to moan about work and clients too. It's totally normal. Everyone needs somewhere to moan about bad experiences.

I kept away from SAAFE and other places for that reason. Unfortunately, just as any other place of work, there will always be an air of bitchiness when people don't get along.

Competitiveness is a bastard, and yes it's rampant in sexwork.

You're right - UK Punting has some deeply unpleasant talk on it, which is also why a lot of sexworkers keep away from it to maintain their sanity. Screening processes are a must - to ensure safety and security. A couple of sites exist that have feedback ratings for clients so that a sexworker can decide if someone is safe or someone they want to see, or not. Vetting processes are everything.

The thing is, if people were less critical towards sexworkers and accepted that sexwork is valid and exists as a money source for many, then perhaps people might treat them with more respect on the whole. We have policies for harassment and proper treatment of people in mainstream employment, so why should sexworkers be any less deserving?

streetlife70s · 27/12/2017 08:45

I don’t think men’s lack of confidence is down to women who judge them for paying for sex Hmm

Perhaps if they saw women as, you know, people, instead of an object to spunk into they might increase their confidence through normal interactions.

BattleCunt · 27/12/2017 08:46

@Humpsfor20yards

Actually - men feel less confident largely because of how they're viewed by other men. It's a toxic masculinity problem. ;)

Indigo911 · 27/12/2017 08:49

I don’t have any judgement towards the sex workers. Good on them if they have 100% chosen to do it and are earning good money.
My judgements solely lie with the punters (other than the tiny minority of ones that you have discussed such as disabled ones) who think it’s ok to cheat on their wives, decide themselves that they are giving them amazing orgasms, and then go into really OTT details about the bookings on Ukpunting and criticise things like “she had a stretch mark”

Indigo911 · 27/12/2017 08:50

*delude themselves

BattleCunt · 27/12/2017 08:54

@Indigo911 the egos on a lot of blokes are sort of....behemoth sized. Thing is, men can be disgusting regardless of whether they're paying for sex or not. Look at the way they treat waitresses and barmaids for example. Patriarchy is a massive wanker.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 27/12/2017 08:54

OK, having read the thread I am so delighted to admit that I clicked on this thread wondering why on earth someone had started a discussion about punting (those boats which are propelled by someone with a pole) in the UK as opposed to other countries.

Genuinely had no idea it had another meaning and am happy in my innocence now I know what that other meaning appears to be...

Indigo911 · 27/12/2017 08:57

@battle it’s totally different having a bloke sleazing over a waitress (which is still vile behaviour) to paying £100 plus to have a woman be at their beck and call for an hour and treat them like a blow up doll. There is a whole tread on SAAFE about how multiple punters have left skid marks on the girls bed sheets during bookings. So some of them aren’t even washing themselves properly beforehand which is a massive sign of disrespect

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