To stop frequenting this restaurant?

[FannyTheFlamingo]

DP and I go to a particular restaurant once a week or so and have been for a while. Everyone there knows us, makes us feel very welcome, always willing to change a dish for fussy DP etc.. But there's this one waitress, who is so flirty with DP it's pissing me off and bordering on embarrassing. DP is completely blind to it (so he says) and I'm not worried about him reciprocating but sometimes I feel it's a bit disrespectful to me. The last time we went there, she went into the kitchen to get 2 new members of staff out to look at him with a 'that's who I've been telling you about' gesture. AIBU to not want to go there anymore or am I being over sensitive?

She said WHAAAAT?! ok, that definitely warrants a complaint.
And if I wasn't so refrained a stab in the thigh with a pastry fork

Could you go for dinner with a few female friends and see how she behaves? Perhaps point out, look that's the crazy waitress that embarrasses herself with DH.

It's not crazy jealous behaviour to not want some immature tit spoiling your meal because she getting colleagues to come and 'look at' your dining partner. What weird behaviour.
The idea of being a good waitress/waiter is to be unobtrusive and let you enjoy your meal in peace, not try to draw attention to yourself like a five year old.
I would speak to the manager (so she learns how to behave in a sensible manner, and so he/she can sort out the problem before they lose any more customers) but I wouldn;t go back, because once she knows you've complained she'll spit in your soup.

@RhiWrites The famous person comment was aimed at another poster who has a famous DP. It's irrelevant to this issue, which is why I directed it at her. I thought it was funny because I don't think he looks like that person and if the waitress in question thought he did, then she would've mentioned it to him/us.

Dina1234 🤣😂🤣😂. Absolutely hilarious. Can't believe anyone thinks your serious. Keep winding them up.

Haven't read all comments but why don't you flirt with her, lick your lips at her, wink wink, push tits together with you arms as you peruse the menu.......

Likewise, someone with a PhD wouldn't be interested in a career waitress. It's pretty simple

Urrrrmmmm hellooooooooo..... Leonard Hofstadter and Penny from BBT

FUCK.....

What do you do for a living Diana?

*dina

No, YANBU.

However, I would give the restaurant a chance to correct the issue before deciding not to go back - particularly as it's a restaurant you enjoy. They'll most likely be mortified about it.

It would most certainly bother me, especially if it's a repeat occurrence. It wouldn't make me jealous, or insecure (not in any way saying you are, OP), it would bother me simply because it's highly unprofessional and quite frankly, disrespectful to be flirting with him in front of you, while you're sat there trying to enjoy a meal - you, the paying customer. It has also likely made your OH at least slightly uncomfortable now, since it's been pointed out to him. Let's be honest, whether you're a man or woman and you're out trying to enjoy a meal with your partner, who wants to be hit on/flirted with/made a spectacle of (the whole bringing other staff out to look at him! ?

I'd have no qualms addressing her directly about the issue, if I was 100% sure of what I was seeing, I would tell her to pack it in, I don't want her serving us anymore, and if she doesn't stop, next step will be a formal complaint.

How old is this waitress anyway? Sounds extremely immature.

dina it's people like you and your husband who make me despair at our society sometimes.

@xMedusax She's probably mid 40s, we're both late 30s, so imo she's a bit too old to be acting like a teenager. I'm a complete wuss when it comes to confrontation though and it's a bit of a close knit place and community for that matter. I've spoken to DP and we're going to give the place a break and go back in a few weeks. Glad other people agree with me though.

@Izzabellasasperella My thoughts exactly!

I don't think I'd notice tbh. DH would never be interested in a waitress anyway so who cares?

guffaw

OP - do you think your OH will conduct a clandestine affair with her?

@Neutrogena Not in a million years!! I just want to be able to eat my dinner without all the suggestive remarks.

My mum was a waitress when she met and had an affair with one of the worlds most famous footballers... just saying.

Hmmm, comment in your update is highly inn appropriate.
And whatever the reason getting staff out of the kitchen to 'look' that's unprofessional too. If you have customers in that you need to alert other staff to (allergy, regulars, awkward, celebrity etc) then you do not do it like that, you'd speak in the kitchen telling them which table and what you need to say. To point them out in full view isn't on.
Sounds like she's too comfortable with you and DH and she's forgotten that you're customers and the service is slipping, it can happen to some degree with regulars who are friendly and make conversation with staff but there is a limit and this waitress sounds above it!
I'd speak with a manager or supervisor if you can and mention the staff being brought to look at you and it's made you feel self conscious and awkward because you were pointed out in front of everyone.
Think it'd be a shame to stop going!

I don't think you have anything to worry about and YABU.
Ignore the remarks, or have a laugh about them.
Life's too short to be wound up by stuff like this.

Just because you can't afford to be quite so picky doesn't mean that my husband can't.

He's obviously not that picky.

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Dina, I and many of my friends have PhDs in a mathematical field. We wouldn't be such momumental arses.

Inn appropriate? Fecking auto correct inappropriate!

*Dina1234

Look, you average waitress would not be interested in someone who is long term unemployed right? Likewise, someone with a PhD wouldn't be interested in a career waitress. It's pretty simple.*

Why on earth not? Dina you can speak to your husband's preferences and who he would or would not entertain, but you can't possibly know if a waitress would be interested in dating someone long term unemployed or a PhD dating a career waitress. Just because you and your husband judge others on their jobs does not mean everyone does.

It would annoy me too. Doesn't matter who I'm with, male or female, family or friend, if I'm out for a meal I'm there to socialise and spend time with that person and don't want anyone else trying to socialise with either of us. It's just rude.

We had this with a Body Pump instructor at the gym she was all over my dh (he is bloody gorgeous looks like an older Daniel Craig) it was flattering to start with then a bit embarrassing and finally bloody annoying. It came to a head when ds came home from uni and started going to the gym and she did the same to him to him (ds) and sort of tried into play them off against each other. I told her to give it a rest she was embarrassing herself too old for one and too young for t'other.

@InfiniteSheldon

She probably wanted a threesome with the pair of them!