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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To stop frequenting this restaurant?

99 replies

FannyTheFlamingo · 21/08/2017 13:05

DP and I go to a particular restaurant once a week or so and have been for a while. Everyone there knows us, makes us feel very welcome, always willing to change a dish for fussy DP etc.. But there's this one waitress, who is so flirty with DP it's pissing me off and bordering on embarrassing. DP is completely blind to it (so he says) and I'm not worried about him reciprocating but sometimes I feel it's a bit disrespectful to me. The last time we went there, she went into the kitchen to get 2 new members of staff out to look at him with a 'that's who I've been telling you about' gesture. AIBU to not want to go there anymore or am I being over sensitive?

OP posts:
scrabbler3 · 21/08/2017 13:57

The pointing thing was the perfect opportunity to ask her if something was wrong. It's more difficult to "call out" the other behaviour but it's easy enough to say, "is there a problem? You were pointing; why?"

Does he look like someone well-known?

BillBrysonsBeard · 21/08/2017 13:59

I think it's pretty rude as she's assuming you're dim enough not to notice. But I wouldn't be jealous, I always find it flattering when someone finds DP attractive! He's all for me and I could trust him with anyone. So she can flirt all she wants but I do think in that scenario where you are there every week, it would get a bit annoying.

coldflange · 21/08/2017 14:01

Can we see a photo of DH then we can judge if he is so good looking that all the staff need to check him out? Grin

Intriguing flickertee... Clues?

MyheartbelongstoG · 21/08/2017 14:02

My boyfriend is a very good looking lad and often gets looked at.

Doesn't bother me one bit and I certainly wouldn't stop going somewhere with him because he got a few looks from someone.

I would however, call her out on it to her face as she was serving us.

MyheartbelongstoG · 21/08/2017 14:03

Dine - "dh wouldn't be interested in a waitress anyway"

Why not, is her job not good enough?

Flyingflipflop · 21/08/2017 14:04

I don't think I'd notice tbh. DH would never be interested in a waitress anyway so who cares?

I'm not sure who sounds more up their own arse. You or your husband?

Ledbury · 21/08/2017 14:04

potteringalong I'm with you on this one Grin

Dina1234 · 21/08/2017 14:14

No, he's a bit of a snob in that respect, although then again it is justified. It's not like he could ever marry someone like that and he's not the kind of man who uses women for sex.

Original poster
FannyTheFlamingo · 21/08/2017 14:14

It never used to bother me and I was quite flattered at first, but she seems to have ramped it up a bit recently.

@PotteringAlong I wish those had been the circumstances, but she didn't know I could see her and then a colleague told her she'd gone red.

@ReanimatedSGB You sound lovely!! Just the sort of little gremlin who hangs around AIBU waiting to be able to say something mildly shitty to someone!!

I definitely haven't read the situation wrong. Other people we have taken there have noticed and commented on it. FWIW I trust DP implicitly and I'm not insecure.

@flickertee We got followed round a theme park once because people thought DP was famous. I quite enjoyed it, but can imagine it's annoying being just so and so's other half!

OP posts:
BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 21/08/2017 14:15

Calling people out from the kitchen and pointing is a bit weird. I don't think I would be bothered by a bit of flirting, so long as she was generally polite and didn't take up too much time. But eating out is about more than the food, and if I felt uncomfortable in a place for any reason, including relatively minor things like sitting in a draft or uncomfortable chairs, I would probably find somewhere else to go.

PinkHeart5911 · 21/08/2017 14:19

It's not like he could ever marry someone like that and he's not the kind of man who uses women for sex wtf? So no decent women has ever done waitressing work? Confused so all a women that is a waitress is good for is being used for sex? Again wtf?

Flyingflipflop · 21/08/2017 14:20

No, he's a bit of a snob in that respect, although then again it is justified. It's not like he could ever marry someone like that and he's not the kind of man who uses women for sex.

He's not the only one that's a bit of a snob.

Dina1234 · 21/08/2017 14:24

No, it's not about decency, he's just about above that. The man is very successful and very intelligent, there isn't really much a full time waitress could offer him and he wouldn't see a woman unless he had genuine interest in her because he's not a dick.

MyheartbelongstoG · 21/08/2017 14:24

Dina, did you know he was such a twat when you married him?

You must be on your toes somewhat with him making sure you live up to his standards.

Original poster
FannyTheFlamingo · 21/08/2017 14:26

Dina - Way to endear yourself to the waitressing community. Is your DP a member of the royal family?? Because that's the only explanation I can think of for the pair of you to be such monumental snobs?!

OP posts:
SummerRoberts · 21/08/2017 14:28

Dina you and your husband sound like a lovely couple and really deserve each other. I'm sure no waitress would want to be with such a snob.

RhiWrites · 21/08/2017 14:28

She was probably pointing him out as a picky eater. "See that bloke? Him and his wife tip and they're nice but he will literally send back a dish if it has a single speck of parsley on it. I've never seen him eat a vegetable. So when you serve him double check he knows what's in every dish."

Please stop thinking people are following your husband around because he's that good looking. Probably the theme park people were just on the way to the same popular rides.

Dina1234 · 21/08/2017 14:29

Look, you average waitress would not be interested in someone who is long term unemployed right? Likewise, someone with a PhD wouldn't be interested in a career waitress. It's pretty simple.

MyheartbelongstoG · 21/08/2017 14:29

Fanny, I wouldn't be surprised if we saw a thread in Relationships shortly about the husband meeting a waitress then runs off with waitress and all their money and dina has to waitress just to get by.

Original poster
FannyTheFlamingo · 21/08/2017 14:29

Pretty simple if you're in possession of a tiny mind!!

OP posts:
Dina1234 · 21/08/2017 14:31

I don't see why you are all so caught up in this. I am sure there are plenty of men who you don't think make the cut for you. We all have different standards so get over yourselves. Just because you can't afford to be quite so picky doesn't mean that my husband can't.

MyheartbelongstoG · 21/08/2017 14:32

My ex husband was an Architect with a monthly take home salary between 10 - 15k! He was horrible.

My boyfriend is a scaffolder. Had I been so shallow I would have missed out on someone amazing.

I think you must be doing this for a reaction.

Original poster
FannyTheFlamingo · 21/08/2017 14:32

@RhiWrites So when people said 'look, isn't that X over there with his missus and kids', I was actually imagining it!? Confused I'm not an idiot!

OP posts:
MyheartbelongstoG · 21/08/2017 14:33

Who does he look like op?

RhiWrites · 21/08/2017 14:34

So he does actually properly look like someone famous? Sorry that wasn't clear. In that case that could be why the waitress pointed him out.

Who is it?

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