NC as very outing, but I am not a troll (fruitshoots, penis beaker)
I have been with DP for 4 years, engaged for 2. I have 1 dc aged 6 and he has 3 dc aged between 5 and 9.
We are largely very happy. All the kids get on, and his dc are close to me, my dc is close to him. We've worked very hard to get to this point.
Our motley little family means the world to me.
Recently, dp has taken up a hobby. Its acting. He got a minor part in an independent movie, and was then an extra in a student film. He's very keen to do more.
I told him I had no problem with him having this hobby, as long as it didnt affect his time with me and the children, and he assured me that it wouldnt. But it has. He has his DC 1 day a week and EOW. The last time they were here, he was off 'filming' all day and left them with me. I wasnt that impressed but he said it would be a one off. He then missed a further day with his DD, and then the final straw was yesterday when he went filming on one of the only 2 days a month we get with no dc. I had planned a day out and he assured me he would be home in time for it, however he came back 3 hrs later than planned.
He made no effort to apologise, he came in very exuberant, saying that he's finally found something hes good at, and that once this film has been completed he is going to send off an audition tape to major broadcasters. I pointed out that nearly all acting work is in London (a 1 hr train trip from home) and what about me, and the DC, and the time we spend together as a blended family.
He just said that there was always Skype, and that the dc would understand that he was doing it to earn lots of money etc. I pointed out that this would mean that a) his dc wouldnt see him b) I wouldnt see the dc that I have come to love and c) ds wouldnt see the children he has come to think of as his siblings. He even got dps dd a sister card for her birthday which he chose himself.
He then started accusing me of being selfish and not supporting his dream, he then started saying that he might as well kill himself as now he cannot achieve his dream. He even got a knife out of the drawer.
I am pretty devastated by it all, we slept apart last night and he seems pretty remorseful today, saying I am right etc and he wont pursue acting further, but now I feel like I've ruined his life just because I want to put our family first. AIBU?