To ask what's the worst wedding you've ever been to?

[WashingMatilda]

I've just come back from a really gorgeous wedding. It was one of those joyous, real life affirming ones IYKWIM.

However, during the speeches I randomly remembered a wedding I went to years and years ago where the grandmas wheelchair was left without its brakes on at the top of a big flight of steps outside the registry office. She rolled forward, all the way down, cracked her head open on the slabs, ambulance took her off on blue lights, and the bride spent the reception scrubbing blood out of her train poor bloody woman. It was horrific. (Nan fine in the end)

What's yours?

Wasn't horrendous but I went to one where my husband was best man so at the top table. I had two small children with me one who was 7 months old and crawling everywhere
The b&g did that thing where they want to mix it up and so say strangers together. Except for my table. It was a group of colleagues (non of whom had children) and me and my two. It was so awkward. They were all catching up and discussing stuff that had gone on at work or with mutual friends. I sat alone. It hadn't helped that we had had the long wait during photos too so the kids were bored and cranky.

I've never understood why you would separate people at a wedding. It was a bit muted and I think it was down to them seating strangers together. Very odd.

Worst one we ever went to was held in a soulless brown conference centre in the middle of nowhere. Venue website provided details of where to park your helicopter but zero details of getting there from nearest railway station.

It all seemed a bit lacking in ceremony, no sense of choreography or timing to the ceremony itself. You could imagine a load of delegates sitting in the same room being bored by a presentation!

Then hours of hanging around without food whilst they did photos. Throughout the body language of the bride and groom looked like they couldn't stand each other.

Very strange wedding.

My friends wedding was pretty awful. For starters, on her hen night the week before (which was good fun!) she stood up on a table and pronounced that all her guests should wear purple. We all thought she was joking and pretending to be a Bridezilla. We turned up at the wedding in normal nice (not purple) wedding outfits. The bride walks down the aisle looking pretty angry. We took it to be nerves. Nope, she was massively pissed off with all her friends for not wearing purple. Really odd. I mean if she had mentioned this sober and a few weeks beforehand we would have tried to accommodate her. She was also massively angry about lots of other things too - she basically was angry for the entire day.

Her best friend (male) had had a massive crush on her forever. It was well known but not talked about. He never acted on it as he felt she was out of his league (he wasn't!). The groom (total knob) knew about this and his speech was ALL about that. That he had won her and "best friend" had lost. It was the crappiest most self satisfied speech ever. He ended it by saying raise your glasses to "best friend". Poor "best friend" was mortified.

The wedding never really got going as the vibe from the angry bride and smug groom brought everyone down.

"Best friend" went to work abroad shortly afterwards. It really hurt his confidence. On a good note he is now happily married with a kid. Angry friend is still married to total knob who has now become even more knobbish.

StealthPolarBear They got much better once I finally divorced him, it was a long two years!

:o

Happened to me in a Butcher's shop in North Wales. Heard shop lady and customer speaking in English as I went in, then they switched to Welsh and ignored me for a while. This also happened to a Welsh friend who was from non-Welsh-speaking Swansea.

I bet people may have thought our wedding was... interesting. The registrar had a speech impediment that gave me the giggles through my vows. The best man's speech was dreadful, all about the advances in aviation technology between DH and I being born (we have a big age gap, neither of us is remotely interested in aviation). My dad's speech joked about the neighbourhood DH lived in before we married, which was notorious for being rough, saying that even the advent calendars were bricked up and wheelie bins were on bricks - DH found this hilarious but his family thought my dad was a frightful snob. England were playing so most of the men buggered off to watch the match in the other function room. DH's exW came without her husband and propositioned DH, his older brother and eventually left with his younger brother.

MIL and FIL didn't come because MIL was in hospital, she died just before we said our vows. We had suggested postponing but she said she would haunt us in our bedroom if we did.

16 years later we are still happily married and look back with fond memories of our special day.

Primrose hope you are OK

The "switching to Welsh" thing was why my cousin enrolled her and her kids into language lessons 6 months before they moved to Wales. It has happened to her, especially as she has a cut glass accent and she has taken great pleasure in also switching languages. She gave a right bollocking to one bloke who had made a really nasty comment about her being English, would have loved to have seen that!

The worst wedding I went to seemed lovely on the day. We afterwards found out that the bride had cheated on the groom in the loos at the reception.

I got married on my cousins 2nd birthday. I apologised profusely for it clashing with her day but the mum was so happy and said it was a great way to spend the day. We gave her a present and mentioned her in the speech. If I were at a wedding on my bday I would probably get drunk and demand to be bought drinks and shots from everyone 🙈

My wedding was 'better than expected' cheer MIL

I can't believe all the people making a big fuss about their birthday, or specifically, not being able to celebrate it properly on the actual day. Just celebrate it on a different day! Any excuse to extend celebrations. I was doing stuff for my 40th for several months.

Many, many years ago when,k after the buffet, tea was poured, ready milked, from huge tea pots. We knew how to enjoy ourselves in the 1960s

TuiMitcham We were together a couple of years but didn't get married, no. On the plus side, we are still very good friends today, 20 years on and he now has a lovely wife who gets on with his Mum very well.

She just took an instant dislike to me and her son wouldn't hear a word said against her. He just wouldn't admit she was being horrible even when she did it in front of him. Later on the same day she threw a wobbly during the meal because I admired a piece of jewellery she was wearing and went to have a cry in the car and he had to go out and pacify her for 30 mins. She was a little high maintenance!

Ooh my cousins wedding, her father's speech was the most cringeworthy shite rubbish. He basically spent the whole speech bragging idividualy about each of his 4 children wonderful achievements I know it doesn't sound that bad and nothing wrong with being proud, but this was just cringe people still say how cringe it was years later.

Wedding No1: the reverend farting loudly during exchange of vows. We were students. The sniggering continued through to the end of the ceremony.

Wedding No2: One female guest who was friend of DH but whom I'd never met (she lived in his country of birth). Thought I should introduce myself & she simply looked me up & down and walked away from me! Pretty crap being snubbed at your own wedding by someone drinking champagne you've paid for! However, I was subsequently told by another female guest that all his friends from his home country were convinced I had trapped DH and they were generally unhappy with it all. So that was nice 🙄

Unicorn I agree that must have been cringeworthy but reminded of a father of the groom speech where the father really criticised the son and brought up "difficult stages" of his life. So unnecessary! Almost as bad as bragging but worse somehow at least bragging is kind(ish).

Pretty sure i was at this wedding too ☺

Pretty i was at this wedding too Pawsbutton ☺

Invited to whole thing for DP's friend. Half the seats to the ceremony were empty, registrar was awful and kids kept screaming throughout the whole thing.
The photos took about an hour and a half so we went to have a drink etc.
Come meal time, me and DP were sat on the same table with DP's ex, her partner and 2 kids (very frosty relationship between the two, she was also pregnant, had young children and i had very recently had a miscarriage. B&g knew of this and said previously that we wouldn't be sitting together.) Made for a very awkward dinner.
At the end of the night, bride wanted to go clubbing rather than go back to hotel room with groom. They went clubbing and groom lost the bride. Later found her in their hotel room doing drugs with another man. Groom fucked off to the strip club

Hough did it take place in London in the early 1990s?

And I wasn't mentioned in the speeches

And any shred of sympathy I may have had for you just evaporated.

The wedding where the bridegroom had been shagging Woman1, then started dating a friend of hers, Woman2, and then introduced W2 to the parents. The parents were desperate for him to settle down and steamrollered him into marrying W2.

He carried on shagging W1 (who we generally think was better suited to him) throughout the wedding preparations. Both women knew about the other one but W2 was keen to settle down. The BG was from an incredibly rich family, who bought them a flat and were determined to spend six figures on a big society wedding (estimated cost £200,000) at the most expensive hotel in the city.

At the wedding we kept expecting W1 to turn up and object. When the religious celebrant said the word 'faithful' during the marriage service there was sniggering from all the BG's friends.

The BG was pissed off his head and his speech was ad-libbed, incoherent and not funny. The BMan's speech was full of rude stories about the BG, and he called the BG 'a cock' which amused the hell out of us but shocked the BG's parents' society friends.

We were taking bets during the reception about how long the marriage would last but amazingly 3 years later it is still going! The BG phoned W1 on his wedding night, and as far as I know he is still shagging her!

A few weddings iv been to had crap parts to them. Went to a wedding were the ceremony was stopped at the alter because the brides mum and a crowd of German relatives were missing. The buffet consisted of cheap scampi and coleslaw. Aty nieces wedding she stated on the invite that if anyone needed a lift to reception just to let them know and BM would organise it. BM didn't want to know and a load of us were left stranded in a strange town trying to find taxi numbers. The day before the wedding g all the ladies went for afternoon tea at a country hotel. Service was abissmal and then were were all expected to cough £30. My daughter who had only had a coffee was bring pressured to pay too.. So I had to put my foot down here. Went to nice pub for reception. Had to wait hours for meal but canapés were brought out which everyone fell on because they were famished. Result was nobody had room for actual meal.