To ask what's the worst wedding you've ever been to?

[WashingMatilda]

I've just come back from a really gorgeous wedding. It was one of those joyous, real life affirming ones IYKWIM.

However, during the speeches I randomly remembered a wedding I went to years and years ago where the grandmas wheelchair was left without its brakes on at the top of a big flight of steps outside the registry office. She rolled forward, all the way down, cracked her head open on the slabs, ambulance took her off on blue lights, and the bride spent the reception scrubbing blood out of her train poor bloody woman. It was horrific. (Nan fine in the end)

What's yours?

The one when the bride insisted on an outdoor wedding, despite intermittent rain and black clouds in the hour leading up to the ceremony. The heavens opened mid-ceremony and the guests, in their lovely, expensive clothes and hats, sat there looking like drowned rats.

But the bride was OK - because she was under cover.

One where we travelled hours to get to the venue for the evening (only invited for that) and discovered that not only was there was not a drop of wedding booze left but we had to pay normal (high) hotel bar prices. The DJ was crap, we knew no one but the groom (who was so drunk he couldn't really introduce us to anyone and probably didn't notice that we were there), all the guests were wasted and we could have had a much cheaper and more fun night in London on our own. Then we got lost getting back and were really annoyed with ourselves for agreeing to be dance floor filler. First and last evening only part of a wedding we'll ever go to.

Oh god, forgot about the one at university where the bride was caught in semi naked pose with the groom's best man 'photographer' who was taking inappropriate shots for the 'wedding album'. Think Sharon Stone. And the 'if it doesn't work out, I'll just get a divorce' from her. That marriage didn't last (a threesome on the honeymoon with one of the ushers and then he cheated on her and kicked her out without ever finding out about all her secret cheating which we all knew about). Her brother was a total racist and insisted on wearing racist memorabilia on a necklace around his neck (thinks swastika's etc) on the dance floor. God knows why they got married and god knows why we all went. The after party was great though - we ditched the wedding, went to another bar in town had a legendary night out so not all bad.

Reading through these I realise I've been to a lot of crap weddings - the passive-aggressive hippie one with the white witch and the dancing around the lake in home made reed skirts tripping on mushrooms. We stayed in the bar at the top of the hill and cancelled the accommodation for the next night. We burned rubber on the way out the next morning. The worst thing was that my very new boyfriend thought that this was who I was and had serious doubts about me for a while afterwards

salsah Silver lining!

At my sister's wedding my mother's cousin punched a randomer in the face for no reason. This happened on lovely staircase, picture it, beautiful.

Said random guest, not related, friend of BIL and a girl, fell down the stairs, cut her lip, had a broken arm and ambulance called.

Cousin taken away by another guest and husband.

God it was fkn awful. Anyway, we got on with it afterwards.

Turns out cousin of mum's was pissed as a fart, and in early dementia too. So all is forgiven.

Sorry to say we laugh about it now and how nasty it could have been.

Some guests can be awful and unpredictable though!

I went to one where they invited every single person they knew and then served canapies only .... they made sure the bride a groom were fed but no one else had enough food .... it was beyond awful ... we ordered in pizza - it was a good friend and my daughter was a bridesmaid .... so we couldn't leave eventually we ordered in pizza."for the kids "..... and ate one ourselves - we were starving !!!!

I love this post - reminds me of even more crap weddings we've been to. Luckily the last one we went to was like the OP's recent one. Perfect and lovely, considerate and tasteful but not over the top and so much fun. Thank god there are some. I wish I'd been to the Maui wedding though

My own was pretty brutal! This may out me but here goes, my mum died suddenly and my wedding was brought forward by a year. I agreed but was pretty much in a bubble. The best thing for me was mum had picked my dress, which was very vintage and very me. MIL told me she was surprised I'd shown off the top off my arms (I'm a size 10 and never knew my upper arms weren't nice 😳😂) I agreed to a small wedding and only a meal and drinks, at a posh place, but no dancing. I'm a massive clubber/dancer so it was all a bit odd. My dad free styles his speech and spoke mostly about my mum and brother. Darling brother was pissed and spoke all manners of shit in his impromptu speech. Husband got pissed and fell asleep early doors. Me and my friends, the few I was allowed to invite by mad inlaws, had a great last two hours. Not blaming this on anyone other than myself! I was just randomly agreeing to anything. As one relative put it, it'll be nice to have something nice to go to after my mums tragic death. Oh and my marriage lasted less than 3yrs! But no pity here as I'm happy now and did get to wear a lovely dress, that showed off my bingo wings !

Anxious that is hilarious - what a cow

Wedding of dh's cousin, very long ceremony followed by a three hour delay while photos were taken and another two hours of speeches before a buffet that wasn't big enough to cater for all the guests. We were also seated at a table with people we didn't know, this had been done on purpose to encourage mingling. What actually happened was that socially awkward dh drank a bit too much due to nerves and all the waiting around and the effect of the drink was exacerbated by the meagre food. He spent the early hours of the morning vomiting in the sink in our hotel room.
Also, not a wedding we attended, but dh and I went to a gig and stayed overnight in a Holiday Inn. As we were leaving the hotel to go to the gig guests were arriving for a big wedding reception in the hotel function room. When we arrived back from the gig about 5 hours later the hotel lobby, dining room and bar had been trashed! Broken furniture, glasses everywhere and passed out wedding guests. We literally had to step over a drunk guest to get to the lift to go to our room. The police were there and were escorting several guests out of the hotel and into a van.

Oh! And my photographer who took lots of pictures lyin on the ground?! Had a tiny gstring on so all my guests discussed her gusset, or lack of it

The worst wedding looking back was my own to the ex husband! Come on someone had to say it! Ha! Thank goodness I am happily remarried today.

Bad idea marriage to the ex though I did have my 4 now adult children by him however that is the only good thing that came out of the marriage. Not going to go into the whole story however only 1 of my 4 have any contact with him, by their choice, and it's limited so I think it says it all

Oh yes and his late Mom tried to ruin the day so yes putting aside who I married it was the worst wedding I had been too

Fancy dress in a registry office. The bride was Thai, spoke no English and was about 30 years younger than the lecherous groom. Reception was just choosing from lunchtime menu in a dodgy old man pub. Shuddering at the memory.

I went to a wedding once when the best man did his speech with the aid of a powerpoint presentation.

The worst one I went to was where the father of the bride slated her during his speech?! We all kept waiting for the punchline (seriously, it was that bad that we assumed he was making a joke) but he kept going. Everyone was incredibly uncomfortable and grateful when it ended. The weird thing was the bride and groom didn't think that there was any problem with his speech

If you don't like weddings on your birthday...don't go to a wedding on your birthday. Simple, really. Or did you expect them to move it, so it didn't clash ?

My younger sister's wedding was a bit painful. The husband was Polish-German, and his family had a massive chip on their shoulder about it. Someone massively upset her by asking if her throwing coins at on the train of the bride was a Polish thing. She completely lost it and told everyone it was typically German, to the bemusement of the (mostly German) attendees, who knew nothing about it. A quick text to my Polish colleague in the UK revealed this was a typical backwater Polish thing.

She deliberately excluded myself and my partner from almost every photo - no idea why. The bride threw a massive freddy fit because she didn't have the bridal crown for the photos necessitating my dad making a 2 hour round trip to pick it up. For the evening meal, "Battleaxe", as we had come to term her, was supervising the serving of the food, much to the bemusement of the venue staff, mainly, it seemed, to exclude certain people from getting certain food. We, strangely, passed muster, although she cancelled coffee and cake for everyone (even though it had been paid for) as she wanted to leave. One of the groom's brothers was banished to the outer reaches of the venue, because he had married a (real) Pole, and more importantly, a Catholic.

My aunt then threw a fainting fit - I took it seriously until my Dad said it was because she wasn't the centre of attention and was upset her husband had refused to attend, as had grandma because she hated the groom.

Notwithstanding all of this, we actually had a nice time and the hotel was lovely.

Anyone else reading this in fear of seeing something about your own wedding?

My cousin's wedding was a proper bobby-dazzler, at the reception, after much drinks were taken, the cat was let out of the bag when it was found out that my cousin had slept with the best man, a few days before the wedding, the groom went apeshit, and hit my cousin so hard he broke her jaw, it was horrendous, we were trying to break up the fight for ages, my cousin spent her wedding night having her jaw wired together in hospital, I have never witnessed so much anger and embarrassment in my whole life. I'm surprised they actually stayed married for as long as they did, he divorced her 2 years later, as they never could get past what had happened.

photomummy I'm not worried about that at all. Not because my wedding was so awesome that I can't imagine anyone complaining about it, but because it was as minimal and low key as possible - so there just weren't enough people there to be complaining about it on MN! Unless my mum or MIL (neither of whom MNs as far as I know) want to complain about it.

I went to a reception once in Perivale where the hall floor was awash with beer and there was a fight going on. We didn't stay long.

The wedding where I was a bridesmaid, having just split up with my partner of 5 years so I went alone and knew no-one (bride was a uni friend). I was 300 miles from home and thoroughly miserable.

I went through the whole thing: church service, meal, party knowing that she had spent the last 3 years being hugely unfaithful (on an almost weekly basis). I didn't know the groom (we'd met maybe twice) and it wasn't something I could ever have told him- even if I had felt it was my place. The marriage lasted less than 6 months. He found her having sex with another man.

The "quirky" country barn wedding where if any of the (100 ) guests wanted a drink they had to make it themselves using a solitary soda stream. The (one) soda stream cylinder gave out so all drinks became water and syrup or just tap water. No bar and no shops to buy anything. It's not possible to remove Tizer syrup stains from cream bridesmaids dresses or the brides train.

I have had this happen to me personally- I was working a season in a Welsh hotel; I can obviously hear English being spoken by groups of guests who when I ask a question and they realise I'm English will then change their conversation to Welsh. So I'm sorry- it happens!

I want to know more about the OW that turned up! Did she do the whole declaring herself in church thing?!