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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have walked out with my baby

71 replies

BrollyDolly · 20/08/2017 18:24

I suspect I'm not being unreasonable but I've just had to walk out of my mothers house 10 minutes after arriving for dinner with my newborn baby as my 17 yo sister told me to piss off and not come round again if I didn't like it.

This was in response to her winding the dog up and making it bark which on several occasions previously I've asked her not to do as I can't bear the noise.
My mother and her partner sat there and said nothing so I just got up and walked out and have now came home feeling very upset.

My sister has form for this type of attitude and made it clear I would not tolerate this once the baby was here as I don't want them being around that sort of behaviour.

AIBU? Hope that made sense!

OP posts:
MrsDustyBusty · 20/08/2017 18:28

Your sister has form for not obeying you in her home?

SusieOwl4 · 20/08/2017 18:28

That's understandable . I always move my dogs to a different area if we have babies visiting , and definitely would not wind them up . That's not good for the baby or the dog . Sounds like you did the right thing .

memove · 20/08/2017 18:31

I hate it when people deliberately gets our dog excited. It's like a form of bullying.

Aquamarine1029 · 20/08/2017 18:31

It seems as though your sister did this on purpose. I don't blame you for leaving.

missyB1 · 20/08/2017 18:32

She sounds a bit immature, do you think she could be jealous of the baby getting the limelight?
I also hate it when people wind my dog up.

RestlessTraveller · 20/08/2017 18:33

What MrsDustyBusty said.

carefreeeee · 20/08/2017 18:33

Might have been better to ask if the dog could be put in a different room whilst you were eating? Saying you are walking out because you don't want a baby exposed to your sister's attitude sounds a bit drama queenish.

RestlessTraveller · 20/08/2017 18:34

It's not the op's dog.

carefreeeee · 20/08/2017 18:34

It sounds like you and your sister are used to arguing and you were expecting her to show more respect now you have a baby which hasn't happened... I think you would be better off to ask her to leave the dog alone and have a go of cuddling her new niece.

Pickleypickles · 20/08/2017 18:35

I think you need to elaborate more because honestly atm i feel a bit sorry for your mum and dad who just wanted to see the new grand baby because 10 minutes doesnt seem long enough for anything that major to have happened and definately not enough time for it to happpen and ypur parents resolve it. I think a quiet wotk woth your mum first would have been better.
But newborns are hard work and i think it tskes extreme circumstances to be classed as U so YANBU but maybe give the situation a chance next time ?

Original poster
BrollyDolly · 20/08/2017 18:35

@MrsDustyBusty no the attitude of winding people up on purpose to cause an argument, not doing things I ask her not to. This is about the only thing I ever ask of her. I rarely see her unless I visit or she wants something like a lift. It always seems to be on her terms.

I asked her nicely and that was her response.

OP posts:
Original poster
BrollyDolly · 20/08/2017 18:39

This situation happens probably every 1 in 3 times I go round there. My mum is happy to put the dog out and my sister kicks off saying why should it. This has been going on for at least 2 years when I visit so it's not a new situation. My sister knows I just get up and leave if she starts making negative comments and trying to upset me so knew exactly what she was doing.

OP posts:
troodiedoo · 20/08/2017 18:40

Your sister sounds like a jealous idiot. YANBU. I wouldn't go round there again.

MrsDustyBusty · 20/08/2017 18:41

You both sound equally tiresome and you should call your mother and apologise.

Robots1Humans0 · 20/08/2017 18:44

YANBU however I feel for your mum being stuck in the middle, if it were me I'd rearrange lunch for next weekend at yours without the doggy to make up Smile

troodiedoo · 20/08/2017 18:44

I guess your parents choose their battles with your sister and are scared to set her off.

However if you're a guest in their house with a newborn in tow they should step in charge and do everything to make you both comfortable. With dog safely out of the way and calm.

Steeley113 · 20/08/2017 18:44

I think if you were both my daughters I'd be telling you both to grow up and get a grip 🙄

LavenderDoll · 20/08/2017 18:47

You need to apologise to your mum and dad for walking out. You were visiting and should have risen above it

Penfold007 · 20/08/2017 18:49

The new born baby is a red herring. You and your sister are as bad as each other. Poor dog.

ChasedByBees · 20/08/2017 18:49

I think you were fine as your parents could have stepped in and removed the dog. If you're told to piss off and not come back by someone who lives there and no one else corrects that, why should you stay? Have you not heard from your mother at all? It sounds like she was mute through the whole thing. Confused

ImperialBlether · 20/08/2017 18:50

@Penfold007 Why is the OP as bad as her sister? Can you explain?

MrsDustyBusty · 20/08/2017 18:50

She's had at least 17 years of this sibling bickering by the sounds of it.

Original poster
BrollyDolly · 20/08/2017 18:51

Just had a phone call from my mums partner asking if I was okay. Apparently there was a massive argument between mum and sister when I left as she was told she was out of order. Mums partner agreed she did everything to go out of her way to wind me up in the short space I was there. I've told mums partner I will only visit when she's not there or they can visit me without her to avoid any further problems. He also said she was attention seeking and probably jealous of the baby.

OP posts:
krustykittens · 20/08/2017 18:51

So you know your sister is pressing your buttons but you still follow the same behaviour anyway? Your sister does sound like a GF but giving into her by leaving each and every time she starts to wind you up isn't going to help and it must upset your mum. If you can't be around her without arguing, why don't you just invite your mum around to yours without your sister? Just be honest - "You can't be mature and make visits pleasant, so I am cutting you out of the equation until we can have a meal without arguing like teenagers." Just step around her and don't give her attention. And YANBU for asking her not to wind the dog up, I hate people who do things like that to animals.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 20/08/2017 18:53

Why don't your folks put their foot down when your sister's being a pain like this? Is she generally spoilt?

But I don't think you are BU - the noise of endless barking can really wind you up.
I once ran away from my dds when they were about 12 and 9 - despite my repeated pleas they would NOT stop getting the dog all excited and making her bark and the noise was really doing my head in.
I got in the car - Dh was away - and drove over 2 hours to a friend's house and stayed the night. I did take the dog!
It was bloody lovely, and I never felt bad about it for a minute.
Taught dds a lesson, too. I think they got quite a shock.

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