to wonder whether your patience actually physically runs out after 8 years?

[hooochycoo]

Eight years of "please sit down when you are eating so you don't spill your food and drink" "please walk on the pavement not on the road" "it's not nice to wake people up when they are sleeping" "Only draw on the paper, not on you or the walls or anything else" " please don't snatch, if you want something then ask nicely and wait" " it is not yours so do not touch it" "This is a cafe, not a play park. Sit down" " This is a bus, please sit down or you will get hurt" ...... and my patience had completely and utterly ran out. All that is left if sarcasm, rage and indifference to them.

I love my children but I absolutely hate motherhood.

Dd is 28 and still trys my patience. .

Get a grip OP. You are dealing with children, not an elite army unit. Perhaps change your technique if you're not getting the desired result but to resort to rage, sarcasm or indifference says more about you than your children's ability to listen and learn.

Mine are 12 and 10 and I don't have to talk to them like that at all really. I haven't for quite a few years though. Sorry you are struggling.

literally every meal i have to ask one of them to sit down and clear up some spill from them not sitting still.

literally every bus journey i have to ask them to sit down before they hurt themselves

literally every morning i have to send them back to bed when they wake me at 6am

both my kids have learning disabilities ( both have one to one support at school) and it feels like it is too hard and i don't have the patience anymore

i do feel utterly depressed by it. relentless

How old is the youngest?

Oh sorry, just saw about learning disabilities.

DS is being assessed for autism and has sensory issues. He cannot deal with going out his normal routine and talks constantly (I think as a stim) and wants hugs, holding, playing with fairly constantly. I love him to pieces but five minutes peace and quiet would be lovely.
I don't feel rage, just worn out. Mostly he needs a hug and attention. Mostly that is fine. Sometimes it is not. Thing is, if i ask him to leave me for five minutes and do something else, he gets more clingy. I am pleased when he goes off into his own little world and plays.

This weekend he has been tired, I have been tired. It has been hard work.

youngest is five.

we get help through school.

we go to a support place every friday afternoon

grandparents try and have them a weekend every couple of months.

but still it's relentless and i do feel at the end of my tether

I wonder if there are any techniques for discipline in kids with learning disabilities beyond having patience. It just feels that they should have got it by now. they really should have. at least the simple stuff like sitting down to eat and not running into the road and not snatching toys and not trying to run around on the bus

imagine having a toddler for 8 years

Parenting special needs children is hard op.

Try accepting some things so not everything is a fight. For instance we regularly get up at 4.30/5am I'm lucky he sleeps at all.

Spills and accidents will happen they are children.

I loose my patience too, walk away swear in you head, have a cig if you smoke (I don't) a coffee anything to re focus that rage.

Angry mum will undoubtedly make them worse.

yes depressingly me getting angry has no effect at all. They don't even register it. just makes me feel like the world's worst.

nothing has an effect.

Strategies ?

I try and keep regular, simple and consistent routines and rules.

I try and look for the good and focus on the positives. ( not managing it today)

What else do you suggest?

i hear you on the nappies. My 8 year old has wet the bedtime four times this week, my 5 year old pooed herself twice yesterday and once today.

I hear you.

When I watch animal videos on YouTube, you see the mother duck, warthog, whatever, calmly ambling along followed by a string of well behaved youngsters

If animals and birds can manage to get through their childhoods behaving nicely, then why on earth can't human youngsters? We're meant to be intelligent, but yet they behave totally recklessly

Have you tried using visual cues and social stories to explain stuff??
My son is now 20 but has severe autism etc etc I am having to go back to the start with visual aides for him xxx

Bedwetting - just means they're not producing enough of the right hormone to stay dry, so I'd go back to night time pull ups. It's quite common to not be reliably dry until 10ish.

Have you looked at the website do2learn.com ?

I see other mothers out and about with their kids just walking next to them, talking sometimes, asking questions. and I feel so jealous.

whereas mine are screaming, running away, fighting, refusing to walk, screaming, falling over, invading people's space, bothering dogs, screaming a bit more.

I was once walking through a field of sheep who had teenage lambs. The lambs decided to approach me to investigate what I was. The sheep mums weren't happy with this, so called them back and they all, without hesitation, turned tail and went back to their respective mums.

incitatis that makes me want to cry. seriously. what it must feel like to have children that listen and learn.

thanks ping and summer flower. I will look x

I think I saw the mother duck with an experience more like the OPs once.

She was trying to get half a dozen of them up a weir and the minute she had got 4 or 5 of them up it and was about to encourage the one or two stragglers up there but a couple of those already up flopped down again and she was meeting herself going backwards. I watched her for 10 minutes before she got all 6 up the weir and could go on her way.

And as foster mum to up to 6 kittens, yes they can be an absolute nightmare .