To want DS to have both surnames?

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So, we've found out we're having a son..

Discussing names yesterday and DH says "blah blah will just be xxx (his surname)" I said no it's being double barreled. This has caused major argument, although I don't really know why we haven't discussed this before..

I already have one DD 11 who has my surname. I wanted DS to have mine then DH's so kids don't have totally different surnames iyswim?

Both our names are quite long- mines Spanish, DH's is Arabic so it would be a mouthful, I just wanted to use DHs day to day but still have that link on baby's official stuff, passport etc.

DH thinks that baby should have the fathers name unless they are not involved like DD's dad. None of us are budging, who is being unreasonable?

If you are intending to use dh surname day to day he is being unreasonable to not have your surname sitting quietly next to it imo!

He is.

HE ... not you ... is being unreasonable...

Neither of you are being really unreasonable, you just feel differently about it. But there's no reason not to use both if you want to, as you say you'll only really use one name day to day, and it would be good for both kids to share at least part of a name. Baby will still have his name, but yours as well. I assume you've kept your name on marriage? Did he not argue tradition there too?

He definitely is.

He is unreasonable. At the very least have yours as a middle name

He is completely. Giving DS both doesn't take anything away from DH. Him rejecting DS also having yours is bang out of order.