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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to lie?

83 replies

smashtheglass · 20/08/2017 10:41

Leading a bit of a double life at the moment as I have a job but haven't told people as it's not a job that gets much respect.

My best friend says I shouldn't do it because it's disgusting. My husband says it's ridiculous as I don't need to do it as he earns enough.

I only do 4 hours a week so AIBU to lie?

OP posts:

Zaphodsotherhead · 20/08/2017 12:26

Anyone who does home care work is bloody amazing and deserves all the respect. I couldn't do it, I know, and am in awe of those who do.

Plus my mum relies on carers when my brother is at work, and they are brilliant with her - it's a vocation, and you should be proud of yourself for doing it (especially, if as your DH says, you don't need the money).

inappropriateraspberry · 20/08/2017 12:33

I have great respect for home caters, nurses etc. I couldn't do it - you need patience, sympathy and a strong stomach! I have friends who do it, and I know it's hard work sometimes. In many cases, it seems to be the only contact some people have with the outside world and is a very important job. It is nothing to be disgusted by or ashamed of doing.

thegirlupnorth · 20/08/2017 13:18

Be proud of what you are doing, I couldn't do it and always think those that can have a gift for nursing X

littlemisssweetness · 20/08/2017 13:30

Are you lying to both friend and husband or just friend? If you feel the need to lie to your husband about it then I think you have bigger issues going on in your life then just do I do this job or not

functionAndMethod · 20/08/2017 13:42

No one should be embarrassed of any job they do current shadow cabinet excluded. You're an adult who is contributing to society and should be proud of it. Tell your friends and if they look down on you then fuck them off. You're better off without them.

Steeley113 · 20/08/2017 13:45

Your friends attitude is disgusting. Is nursing a 'disgusting' job? Tell her to say that to the next nurse she needs help from

stevie69 · 20/08/2017 13:50

That's a job to be proud of. You're helping vulnerable people. You should shout it from the roof tops! Well done x

This. With bells on. You're amazing

AlpacaLipsNow · 20/08/2017 13:54

That's one of the most respect worthy jobs there is. You are helping the most vulnerable people and it isn't as if you're in it for the huge paycheck. Be proud of yourself.

Original poster

smashtheglass · 20/08/2017 13:56

Thanks very much! Yes I lie to both husband and friend

OP posts:

Butterymuffin · 20/08/2017 14:07

That's a very worthwhile and socially valuable job. Far more so than highly paid jobs like hedge fund management (apologies to anyone in such a job but it's not actually needed by society whereas care work is). A good question to ask your 'friend' would be who she thinks is going to look after her parents / elderly relatives when they need it. If she finds it so disgusting, she ought to be extra grateful for people like you!

SleightOfHand · 20/08/2017 14:12

They can love it or leave then. Gotta be able to be yourself.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 20/08/2017 14:38

I can't understand lying to your husband about your job. Don't you want to talk about your day with him? Are you afraid of his reaction? It's not "ridiculous" to want to work even if he earns enough to support you. It's actually very nasty of him to belittle your choice of work.

You can't and shouldn't continue to lie about working.

Original poster

smashtheglass · 20/08/2017 15:33

He would just go on and make it difficult for me. Easier to lie. It does feel bad though

OP posts:

Allthewaves · 20/08/2017 15:36

Goodness sake. Hold your head up high. Your providing care for the most vulnerable members of our society. It's not disgusting or something to be hidden. It's basic human compassion - u need new friends

PumpernickleInaWarehouse · 20/08/2017 15:48

It sounds more about you having independance from your husband for yourself rather than the job? Or am I getting the wrong vibe?

Macncheesewithbacon · 20/08/2017 16:17

You are doing an undervalued and essential job in society and being disrespected for it? Shame on them and thank you, so much, for working and helping people every day

Mysteriouscurle · 20/08/2017 16:22

Youre doing a wonderful job and I wish this society would recognise it by paying people like you what they deserve. Its sad that we dont value our older citizens by paying carers so little

JacquesHammer · 20/08/2017 16:24

You're friend is deeply unkind.

You do a job that a lot of people couldn't and wouldn't - you deserve massive respect for caring for people who can't do it themselves.

OstentatiousWanking · 20/08/2017 16:25

How would he do that? Is he a bit controlling?

Spangles1963 · 20/08/2017 17:05

I have nothing but admiration for people who do this job,because I know that I couldn't cope with it. Well done you is what I say.

Spangles1963 · 20/08/2017 17:06

I must admit that I thought you were going to say you were a bailiff,or a parking attendant!

Original poster

smashtheglass · 20/08/2017 17:08

Very ostentatious

Thanks for nice comments. I think because I have a degree my friend thinks I should be doing more, or something.

OP posts:

Gottagetmoving · 20/08/2017 17:32

Why aren't you disgusted with your husband's and your friend's attitude?
You should be proud of your ability and willingness to do that job. You are much nicer than they are.
They should be ashamed of their attitude regarding your job.

Original poster

smashtheglass · 20/08/2017 17:38

It annoys me. I wish they were more supportive.

OP posts:

AnnetteCurtains · 20/08/2017 17:42

Admirable work
Make sure your hepatitis jab is up to date though

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