To ask how you work out holiday cost if you earn less than your partner ?

[Sunshine250]

We are looking at booking a holiday abroad in October. My budget for a week away is really £800 max which I think is doable. My partner wants to go on a trip which is going to nearly double that each If we do this, it means I'll be paying him back for quite a while afterwards which I could do, but I think it's more sensible just to book the less expensive option How do you work holidays if your partner earns a lot more ?

Tell him you're putting in £800, he can put in as much as he likes. Once you know your total budget (whether that's £1600 for £10k is up to him!) pick a holiday together.

We have separate finances, and it works very well for us.

We have a joint account into which we both pay £x each month. The mortgage and all household bills are paid out of this account. We take turns to do the food shopping.

The remainder of our incomes is our own to do with as we see fit. Neither of us would ever question the other's spending. We have never had an argument about money in 25 years together, because there is nothing to argue about.

I think it's fine for a couple to decide to pay exactly their own way - and to be paid back for loans. Not a popularity view on here, but I've had a relationship like that perfectly successfully. In the past - but the split wasn't money related.

Of course, I'm not talking about a couple where someone has made career sacrifices for the other, child related or not. And there's a massive caveat about how bills are split.

What's missing here, is the OP hasn't even said if she wants to go on the more expensive holiday.

If you can afford Spain but you'd both love diving in the Maldives and that can happen with his loan and you know you can pay it back after 3 months - meh, your business.

If you both want Spain pool and beach but he wants 5 and à la carte but you can only afford 3 and AI - then he can suck it up.

My XH and I earned the same - I wanted a weekend in my camper van, he wanted 5* hotels. It wasn't about money, it was about having totally different tastes. I resented the times I spent £150 a night on a hotel but didn't enjoy it as much as I would have a £15 campsite.

I'm now about 4x the highest earner. We just came back from the US (a child each too). We chose a holiday we both really really wanted. We booked flights and accommodation that we could both afford. We self catered a lot because we like to, AND to save money - because we like to, not need to. Then I paid for every extra - meals out, the food shopping for self catering, activities, museum entries... it works for us.

Does the amount you need to 'borrow' cover all your expenses, as it would in an AI, or will you need spending money when you get there? Will he want to eat out at expensive restaurants while you would prefer cheaper places? Would that i crease your 'debt'? Will you be anxiously scanning the menu for the cheapest item and feeling stung by cover charges.

That would be no way to enjoy a holiday.

So the 800 wouldn't include spending money so I would have to be extra careful with money before and after the holiday

Find it a bit odd that you might owe your partner money. If your finances are entirely separate then the lower earner dictates the budget.

we've always pooled money, putting the same proportion of our salaries into a joint account and keeping the rest for personal stuff.
So the higher earner pays a bit more for holidays, mortgage, food and everything else vaguely "joint".

Bonnie - that was how we had our finances prior to marriage and DCs, it worked for us for years and I don't agree with the MN view that a couple who are just living together (no DCs, not married) must instantly make all money jointly accessable, rather than keep their finances separate while it suits them.

OP - you can afford a maximum of £800, so that's the most you can afford. If he would like a more expensive holiday, then it's down to him to offer to pay the extra for you, or go with someone else. Don't ask him to pay more for you, just repeat that you can only afford £800 maximum, would prefer to pay a little less and you don't want to borrow any money to have a more expensive holiday, but will forgo going on holiday at all if he doesn't want to go on a cheaper holiday.

Leave it for him to think of solutions, be clear that you borrowing money isn't an option as far as you are concerned. He'll soon work out for himself what he will have to do if he doesn't want to go on a holiday within your budget.

I've always done 50/50 with boyfriends (never married, no kids). I've sometimes been the higher earner, sometimes the lower earner. After just a couple of years, no kids and no ring, I don't see why one partner should be subsidised by another. The lower earner has the option to retrain, take a second job etc - it isn't like a situation where someone has taken years off to raise children. My last boyfriend only worked part-time while he pursued arty interests. I work around 60 hours a week - and some people on here seriously think I should have been paying for his holidays - wtf!!! I agree that the lowest earner sets the budget though.