I am not tidying up AGAIN!

[Ilovechocolate111]

So at 7am I started tidying up before the kids (aged 2. 4. And 5)woke up.
They woke up at 8am down stairs spotless! Within 10 minutes it looks like a bombs gone off! So I tidied it all up again. Husband said God you wouldn't think 3 kids live here it's immaculate....
So at 11.30 my husband decides to start making lunch for everyone (he hardly ever cooks)
So he used 4+ pots and pans so many knife and folks and spoon ect.
He did the children a beef burger even tho I told him they won't eat a full one and they will defiantly won't eat a bap. So he gives it then anyway...
There is now food everywhere off the kids chucking it AWAY. Dirty pots and pans all over the kitchen. And husband has done fuck all. So he is now thinking I will be cleaning it up. Well I'm not. I'm fed up of wanting me house clean for my kids but this is the thanks I get!
I clean up at least 5 times in 1 day! And now I've had enough! Aibu to go on strike!

Perhaps teach the kids not to chuck food.

I hate it when people do that! I actually threw my FIL out of my house for always cooking and never cleaning it up. How inconsiderate.

Ellie it's a pain ain't it.
When I was in hospital giving birth to our younger I said to my husband has the house been tidied. "Yes it spotless I done everywhere "
I came home with our baby within hours of him saying it and omg I thought i walked into the wrong house. The dishes where piled up there was food all over the floor. There was clean washing all over the place (which I washed and ironed before I went into labour)
There was toast crumbs all over the floor. There was cake smudged up my patio windows. And he said it was spotless. So literally I put baby in Moses basket and started tidying up as it was so un-hygienic.
But that must only be my fault as I'm the one who does everything when he won't do it or if it's "SOAKING" for 6 hours

Allthebest.
They don't chuck food when Dad isnt around.
They tidy up when Dad isn't around.
They only do it wheb dads there.
Maybe if they don't like the food if we're trying something new they will push it away.
And have you ever tried teaching a 2 year old not to chuck food cuz its like talking to a brick wall.

I feel your pain. My dp walks around with eyes painted on, I reckon. I ask for help with maybe two or three things a week and I get "I'll do it" 95% of the time, I end up doing it myself. I also do the majority of the care for our baby. Oh, and how can I be tired when I'm off on maternity leave.... 🤔

Yes actually have raised 3 boys and you can definitely even teach 2 year olds acceptable behaviour whilst eating.

I think if I was to leave dh with the kids they'd all appreciate me a bit more, he thinks as i work part time and am "at home all day" when Im working I shouldn't be so miserable about it!
I'm going away for 2 nights with the 5yo tomorrow, 2 yo staying with dh and he called my mum last night and asked if she could come and help! She's fine with it as loves spending time with the kids but it still pisses me off he can't cope without me to 2 days.

• at home all day when I'm not working

OP I think you are me...
In despair with the same issues, I'm trying to get my kids to clear up after themselves and also to be a bit tidier in general. It's actually really helped me not get so agitated about it all.
My five year old makes her bed in the morning, tidies toys off her floor in to a basket and puts her clothes in the wash basket. I'm trying to get the three year old to do the same and then they get a treat at the weekend in recognition. A magazine or kinder egg - those are the most powerful bribe in this house.

I also blitzed through all their toys and put away binned anything that didn't have a place, sorted crayons/pens/pencils/shopkins and all other ridiculously small toys in to baskets or boxes. Now they tidy them away themselves at the end of the day. I help but I won't do it for them while they run around.
The 40 year old is in a league of his own and I'm at my wits end there. The baby still has a free pass due to amazingly high levels of cuteness.

Good luck. I find mess stress really bad for my mental health and know it's very wearing when you feel everything is down to you.

If its big wnough to fit up the hoover amd its on the floor. Thats where it goes in this house!

Think you're being a bit of a martyr really. Just hoover once when the kids are in bed. Either wash the pots yourself or leave them for him to do in his own time.

Glad I'm single!! Every man I've ever gone out with has been a lazy bastard!! OP, yours is no different.........i'm happily single, 2 kids.......I think you need to have a talk with yourself about how long you are willing to live like this???

Its like having 4 kids not 3 lol. I ended up washing the pans myself as they are making the while house smell. Never mind. One day they will appreciate everything I do. It's just been a really busy stressful day.
Hahaha Ive just had a brain wave
My husband wants to go camping next week end. I might just sit there all day and let him cook and run after the kids. Hmmmm.. .. I can just imagine it.

You say 'my kitchen' 'my windows' etc. Is this your house, as in, you own it and DH moved in?

There's a few different issues here I think.

Firstly you should not be cleaning the whole house by yourself, ever. Your DH needs to pull his weight - if he doesn't, stop doing anything for him.

However I do think your standards are high. Hoovering under the sofa several times a day is unnecessary. If you have laminate then just get a dustpan and brush and do a quick sweep under it at meal times. All toys put away at the end of the day, with the children helping, all dishes and pans cleaned after every meal, and surfaces cleaned every evening. Quick load of washing on in the evening, out to dry once it's done. Maybe 45 minutes a day max of housework that is necessary.

You have young children. Your house will be messy because they are having fun. You need to lower your standards - cleaning up first thing in the morning then being cross that it's like a bomb site ten minutes after the kids are awake is not good. Relax. There are more important things than a tidy house!

Tath. It's force of habit saying my house ect. I don't own this house but Im the one who pays all the Bill and pays the rent and food ect x

I feel your pain. My husband is very wonderful in lots of ways, but cleaning is not one of them. I tidy before I go to bed, he often works late and makes more mess, so I tidy when I get up with the baby in the morning. He's an excellent cook, so he'll make food throughout the day, but use loads of pans and tea towels etc so more clearing up. Deal is, he pays for a cleaner once a week so at least I get one day of tidiness a week. We didn't have one while I was on maternity leave, but as soon as I went back to work she started again. I love her, she's saved my sanity!

I think the reason I tidy so much is because when I was younger I lived in a 3 bed house with 6 brothers and sister and it's was always messy and smelly. And I didn't want to bring my kids up like that as when every we had friends round they would take my piss and say we were tramps and scratters ect and it's really wasn't nice. So eventually we never invited people round and we never got invites to go round people houses. So cuz of that i like to clean.

Ok so I'm assuming he works, but you pay all the bills and for food etc. And you do all the housework and general day to day care of the kids. You say he doesn't even read to them or bath them. What exactly does he contribute?

He sounds like a cunt!
Lazy man child.

He does play with the kids but it's probably only for 10 mins a day or so. He does pay his way by taking us camping or days outs and he pay for everything if we go out. And he sometimes pays for takeaways if we have one. He does pay his way but not towards the house..
I'm probably asking to much of him as he sounds like a typical bloke.

So cuz of that i like to clean.

But you don't like to clean because you are saying you don't want to have to keep doing it.

The kind of house you grew up In, from what you describe, takes a long time to get to that state. By all means clean and tidy on a daily basis, but once a day is fine. Having some mess sit there for a few hours does not create the kind of home you grew up in.

Your DH still needs to help out though. Perhaps he will if you lower your standards a bit - he may well have got to the stage where he feels nothing he does to help is good enough anyway so why bother. Not making excuses for him but this is somewhere you should meet in the middle.

Fish face. If you dont mind please keep your name calling to yourself. Yes he might be lazy but that is MY HUSBAND your calling a cunt.
So PLEASE don't do it!!

Purplemac. I completely see where everyone is coming from so I have only tidied up once today. I will always keep on top of the dishes as i hate it. But I haven't hovered yet or mopped up. I done the dishes and wipes tables off a work surfaces but that it until kids go to bed.
I will lower my standards as of today. x