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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think SAHMs shouldn't put this nonsense on a CV/job application

999 replies

windygallows · 17/08/2017 10:40

In the last year I've recruited for numerous part-time jobs, receiving applications from many women who took time out to be with family and are now returning to work.

Many of the applicants have been straightforward and simply noted on their CV that they have been SAHM - simple.

But increasingly applicants, perhaps based on some guidance from career counsellors or MN, are finding more creative ways to describe their absence from the workforce.

One, we'll call her Mrs Jones, wrote that for 10 years she was employed by the 'Jones family' and that her work involved 'organizing international travel for her family.' Because organizing a holiday is similar to the tasks led by senior executives.

Another wrote a list of every task she did at home from getting groceries to cleaning the house which, while impressive as an exhaustive list, doesn't really mean much when applying to an office-based role. Especially as it's basically a list of everything most employees have to fit in outside of work.

More galling are the claims that women make about the critical role they played - with my favourite being the one who 'Spent 7 years looking after my two children who needed and deserved my attention.'

There is huge value in the work that SAHMs do but please, please don't put this kind of waffle on your CV. You never know if your interview panel will consist of a FT working, single mom like me who finds it pretty insulting that working means her children apparently lost out on 'the attention they needed and deserved.' Urgh.

OP posts:
PoorYorick · 17/08/2017 13:38

Yeah, because the school gates are an oasis of calm and harmony.

Cailleach666 · 17/08/2017 13:41

Don't women with jobs take their kids to school?

keepingonrunning · 17/08/2017 13:41

Ouch.

PoorYorick · 17/08/2017 13:43

Nope, women with jobs do nothing but backbite, right?

Artisanjam · 17/08/2017 13:44

Why is it backbiting? Its just where people are trying to get into work, you make your CV look as professional as possible.

That means not bigging something up to sound much better than it is when the interviewers know it isn't. If you stick to the real facts it is much more straightforward than the bullshit approach and takes a lot less effort all round.

Permanentlyexhausted · 17/08/2017 13:45

I came across this description of a SAHM - "a manager of my family and home" - this is the best description i have ever heard as this is exactly what we are

Great. As long as the other 127 candidates are all irresponsible fuckwits who have lost their homes and children through sheer incompetence, you'll be a dead cert for the job.

It's wrong to say that all working parents do what SAHMs do, just in fewer hours, though.

Technically, yes, but when applying for jobs, the exact amount of time you've spent doing a particular role isn't always particularly relevant. Especially when the role in question is being a "manager of my family and home" for 168 hours a week as a SAHM as opposed to around 128 hours a week for WOHM.

Gorgosparta · 17/08/2017 13:46

Some people in the workplace have every meal cooked for them, which is actually the sort of information that would put me off a candidate.

Most of us saying we mange our home and work are either single working parents or both people work. People who do not have a sahp in their household do the majority of jobs that sahps do.

PoorYorick · 17/08/2017 13:47

Great. As long as the other 127 candidates are all irresponsible fuckwits who have lost their homes and children through sheer incompetence, you'll be a dead cert for the job.

Tea just came out of my nose. Love it.

NeverTwerkNaked · 17/08/2017 13:50

I've just recruited someone who's been a SAHP for 10 years.
She just put - career break, young children
Then focussed on her prior professional experience.
That's a professional approach. Many of the people recruiting SAHMs will be parents themselves , so are hardly going to be wowed by a detailed description of the tasks involved in raising a family.

SilverySurfer · 17/08/2017 13:52

HadronCollider
I personally think raising children is the most important job in the world, and a woman choosing to do that makes an important sacrifice that society benefits from in the long term.

Really?? I have no children so am not on anyone's side but what you are effectively saying is society will benefit more from your child because of your 'sacrifice' than a working woman's child. Obviously that's bullshit. No-one asked you to 'sacrifice' yourself - it was your choice to have children.

As a previous recruiter, I agree with others - its sufficient to put break for childcare or whatever the reason. Comparing arranging your holidays with international travel in a business etc is cringe making

KimmySchmidt1 · 17/08/2017 13:54

the risks of doing this without any thought to it are:

  1. you bring up skills that are totally irrelevant to the job you are applying for. You say "society doesnt value SAHMs" but that isnt really the point. the point is does anything you have been doing give you relevant experience? if you put down bum wiping and you are applying for a job in sales, does this suggest you don't understand the role or what the skills needed for it are?
  1. that in your insecurity trying to justify your decision to SAH you offend people who didn't. Particularly if you make a value judgement that suggests children without SAHM are lesser or worse. This is the SAHM equivalent of someone putting on their CV that they have been working as a vicar because ALL NONCHRISTIANS ARE GOING TO HELL!!!! It raises the legitimate question of are you going to be prejudiced against your co-workers and cause them upset and HR problems with your judgemental behaviour.
missanony · 17/08/2017 13:54

Even if you're happy with your situation of being a SAHM or a Full time working out of the home mum, I think both situations feel judged.

I am one of the latter and certainly feel judged - comments like 'you're a career girl' or 'you do what you have to' aren't uncommon and make a tonne of assumptions.

NeverTwerkNaked · 17/08/2017 13:55

Basically, in essence, I'm feel completely neutral about time out as a SAHP. It's a legitimate reason for a career break and any break needs explaining briefly. But it doesn't need justifying beyond that.

But then all i want to know is can they do the job I am recruiting for? So I am interested in the detail of what they did before their career break.

SenatorBunghole · 17/08/2017 13:56

It's astonishing that OP is getting a pasting for not taking kindly to people saying I was at home with my children as they deserved it. I mean, it's an astronomically stupid thing to say. If she was advised by somebody to do that, it's just about the worst tip anyone's ever had since whoever told Theresa May it was a good idea to hold a GE this year.

ghostyslovesheets · 17/08/2017 13:56

yes I should have given up work and stayed at home - lost my house due to not paying the mortgage - why a single parent living on benefits is a gift to society - you can tell by all the positive press 'we' get Hmm

Oly5 · 17/08/2017 13:56

I agree that it's cringeworthy and unnecessary.
Just put career break to raise young family.
At least a few omen on your interview panel will be mothers - they know the tasks involved in getting their kids to school, organising shopping and making sure everyone has the right kit!

NeverTwerkNaked · 17/08/2017 13:57

"I personally think raising children is the most important job in the world"

But unless you are applying for a job as a nanny or teacher, that's pretty irrelevant to an employer.

JacquesHammer · 17/08/2017 13:58

The reason women feel the need to try and prove how the skills they have used in the home are relevant is evidenced by the number of posters either explicitly or implicitly posting "oh I do everything a SAMH does AND I work full time too".

gillybeanz · 17/08/2017 13:58

Gosh OP, a few of my friends did this and now have very senior roles.
Don't under estimate the skills gained by being a sahm.
One is a negotiator after proving negotiating skills with her kids.
The other is an MD of a Hotel chain, she started off as manager of a single hotel as she had experience in all departments from being a sahm.
Maybe it doesn't suit the environment where you work, but you do women a disservice by suggesting they don't list skills gained as a sahm.

ghostyslovesheets · 17/08/2017 13:59

JacquesHammer but as a single parent with 3 children who else do you think does all those things in MY home with MY family?

and I work

Anatidae · 17/08/2017 13:59

I have no problems with gaps in CVs if they are explained. That doesn't have to be a long winded one. My own has a sentence about working and travelling for 18m after finishing a contract. It's pretty obvious I took a delayed gap year. I did some interesting stuff but it's irrelevant to my CV in any other way so one sentence it is.

Women are being poorly advised if they are putting lists like this on their CVs. Indicating you took a few years out to raise a family/care for family is FINE.

I'd then ask an interviewee what they'd done to keep a toe in the water and that's their cue to talk about 'well obviously time is limited but I tried to keep up with trade news, publications, etc...'

greendale17 · 17/08/2017 14:00

I agree with you OP- cringey and a load of crap

ghostyslovesheets · 17/08/2017 14:01

skills gained by being a sahm are basically the skills gained being a parent and nothing to do with SAH or working

PrimalLass · 17/08/2017 14:01

I've been a SAHM and a WOHM. If you don't want employers to think you have no work-related skills then do something about it. Volunteer, do courses, set up a business. Parenting is an enormous juggle at times and does require lots of skills, but if your 4-year-old is the only one who can verify that you have them, then it is going to be difficult. There are always charities, preschools, etc crying out for volunteers. Someone where I live got an MBE because of a voluntary thing she did for years. I was on committees, ran events, did web stuff, wrote business plans and funding applications while I was a SAHM. I've used them all as relevant experience.

gillybeanz · 17/08/2017 14:01

At least a few omen on your interview panel will be mothers - they know the tasks involved in getting their kids to school, organising shopping and making sure everyone has the right kit!

Sorry but if they are on interview panels they have worked hard on their careers and unlikely to know what a sahm does, two totally different roles Grin
Working parents don't know because erm .... they don't do it.
Being responsible for kids 24/7 and family, house etc is not the same as putting in a couple of hours at night.

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