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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think SAHMs shouldn't put this nonsense on a CV/job application

999 replies

windygallows · 17/08/2017 10:40

In the last year I've recruited for numerous part-time jobs, receiving applications from many women who took time out to be with family and are now returning to work.

Many of the applicants have been straightforward and simply noted on their CV that they have been SAHM - simple.

But increasingly applicants, perhaps based on some guidance from career counsellors or MN, are finding more creative ways to describe their absence from the workforce.

One, we'll call her Mrs Jones, wrote that for 10 years she was employed by the 'Jones family' and that her work involved 'organizing international travel for her family.' Because organizing a holiday is similar to the tasks led by senior executives.

Another wrote a list of every task she did at home from getting groceries to cleaning the house which, while impressive as an exhaustive list, doesn't really mean much when applying to an office-based role. Especially as it's basically a list of everything most employees have to fit in outside of work.

More galling are the claims that women make about the critical role they played - with my favourite being the one who 'Spent 7 years looking after my two children who needed and deserved my attention.'

There is huge value in the work that SAHMs do but please, please don't put this kind of waffle on your CV. You never know if your interview panel will consist of a FT working, single mom like me who finds it pretty insulting that working means her children apparently lost out on 'the attention they needed and deserved.' Urgh.

OP posts:
smiffy54 · 18/08/2017 18:40

I havn't read all the messages on this thread, and I understand the point the OP is making, but it is a dilemma for many people, men as well as women, who have had sometimes many many years out of the workforce. I used to work for a small charity, supporting families with young children. Our advice was generally to consider what your experience as parent and SAHM/D could add to your strengths; budgeting, organisational skills, conflict resolution, time management. It certainly helped quite a few parents to gain employment/ access to further education.

BeyondThePage · 18/08/2017 18:42

bbismad - the trouble is you get good SAHMs and you get bad SAHMs and because no one is employing them, any future employer has NO WAY WHATSOEVER to know which one you are - just because you SAY you have these skills does not mean you do - how are they measured?

I have been both SAHM and WOHM and can truthfully say I've never felt undervalued applying for work - from either starting position.

Daydream007 · 18/08/2017 18:42

I agree. Whilst it's perfectly fine to put SAHM to explain a gap in employment, it looks desperate and unprofessional when someone explains what duties they performed whilst being a SAHM. Many working mums do all those duties on top of working full time! Many good employers respect SAHM's and don't need to have that role justified.

MrsBendyBaker · 18/08/2017 18:42

Not read the whole thread yet, but YANBU! Depending on the wording of it, it can definitely smack as being judgemental towards working parents, the implication being "oh i care too much about my children to put my career first" - which implies judgement of those who either have to work or, worse, CHOSE to keep working after having kids.

I saw the thread on here before when someone was posting about having done this themselves, and actually her attitude came across as really entitled to me. She said something like "surely they should be seeking diversity in the workplace" and actually seemed affronted that anyone would value other candidates having more relevant/recent employment experience over her experience as a SAHM.

Personally I struggle to get my experience covered in two pages anyway. If I do end up taking a career break to raise kids the last thing I'd want to do is have to take out some of the content about my professional history/skills to make room for some irrelevant guff about doing all the housework....

Ineke · 18/08/2017 18:48

Any interviewer worth their salt would know that a SAHM must have certain skills best used in this role and would not need a list of tasks that was involved in staying at home, I think it is an insult to the intelligence of the interviewer for the interviewee to say anything other than she /he took time out to be with kids whilst they were young. Don't embellish it or you will sound ridiculous.

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 18/08/2017 18:50

smiffy54 You really should read the thread. Your charity's advice might have lost women a LOT of opportunities.

ChoccoFiend · 18/08/2017 18:51

I do think the OP is being harsh when it comes to SAHM's when the original post clearly reeks of her own guilt of being a FT Mum. Really, what does it matter if they write it on their CV? Personally, I wouldn't do it myself but I certainly wouldn't begrudge anyone who did! The SAHM's should be helped back into work if they want to, not judged. After all, the OP has no idea of circumstances of WHY they're returning to work and instead just discarding CV's because she thinks they're "cringe" 🙄.

HollyBuckets · 18/08/2017 18:51

I'm not sure that employers always understand exactly what SAHPs do... so much prejudice... as is evident from your own post. One is asked on application forms exactly what previous employment entailed... so I see no reason, that parenting, being the most important employment imaginable, should be excluded

But what do SAHPs do that WOHPs parents don't do? Anyone who lives as an adult "manages a household." Single, or married, or parenting one or 10 children.

As Barbie222 says: There isn't any role which a SAHP does that a WOHP doesn't already do, and the fact that SAHPs do them more often doesn't give these skills additional value

Babbitywabbit · 18/08/2017 18:53

The OP reeks of her own guilt about working?

Wow, must have missed that bit...

Nancy91 · 18/08/2017 18:54

Budgeting for a massive corporation is very different than budgeting for the weekly food shop.

Conflict resolution between customers and employees is a very different process than calming down a toddler.

The organisational skills needed for most jobs far surpasses those needed to organise a day with a baby.

Parenting is a very important job, but to list those skills as if they are relevant for most jobs is a bit ridiculous.

Dustbunny1900 · 18/08/2017 18:55

Taking care of your own children is "employment"?

ChoccoFiend · 18/08/2017 18:58

You never know if your interview panel will consist of a FT working, single mom like me who finds it pretty insulting that working means her children apparently lost out on 'the attention they needed and deserved.' Urgh.

This. At the end of the day, it's a SAHM applying for job. Why find it insulting if you're perfectly happy with the decision you've made?

*Also, on an unrelated note - if you want to caption things from posts, how can you highlight them (I'm on an iPad)

GetAHaircutCarl · 18/08/2017 19:00

Not alienating the people who have the power to offer you what you want is surely the most basic skill anyone should possess.

If you can't do that, you're not much use.

ChoccoFiend · 18/08/2017 19:00

I hope the OP offered some constructive criticism to the SAHM's if she didn't like what she read.

TennisAtXmas · 18/08/2017 19:00

what does it matter if they write it on their CV?
Well, because it looks a bit desperate and puts employers off. Your CV is often the only chance you get to make an impression, and talking about stuff which has nothing to do with the role, doesn't help.
And saying you're a doctor, nurse etc, as someone mentioned near the start of the thread, when you mean you looked after your own DCs, is just lying!

GetAHaircutCarl · 18/08/2017 19:01

chocco there's not always time to give feed back on applications. Especially in small businesses.

2014newme · 18/08/2017 19:02

Parenting isn't employment

Gorgosparta · 18/08/2017 19:02

One is asked on application forms exactly what previous employment entailed... so I see no reason, that parenting, being the most important employment imaginable, should be excluded.

Sahp is not employment.

2014newme · 18/08/2017 19:04

Yes it's not the most important employment imaginable because it's not employment.

eulmh · 18/08/2017 19:10

They may not have much else to put and may have lost their confidence. I do agree though and helped my friend reword hers and alter bits when she did similar but she didn't have much else and o suppose she wanted to show her worth

Wendydale · 18/08/2017 19:10

I think being a sahm is something to be proud of. A woman who can raise a happy healthy family, run a home and household budget, oversee home repairs and appoint tradesmen etc etc etc, can do your part time job with her eyes shut. I also have my own company and applaud her for getting her priorities right. Little ones need their mums for the early years especially. Pushing data/products round the commercial world is secondary importance. I had a neighbor who raised 5 lovely kids and ran her home. I'd employ that woman without hesitation. That experience is far more indicative of character than full CV. Flame on. Don't care.

squizita · 18/08/2017 19:22

Not all work is "pushing" data or commercial? Frankly a lot of women work in very valuable caring careers (a female dominated sector) and/or in specifically trained roles.
Reminds me of a friend who said women should NOT work with kids under 5 but also insisted on a midwife and doula who had been through labour relatively recently in the local area. She didn't register that not all women work in offices.

Skills are important. Specific skills. Not waffle. Do not insult women with children by cookie cuttering them into a certain type of job requiring certain soft skills aquired in a range of ways. Loads of mothers do really really important work with specific expertise and want to do this on a vocational level.

Ending "flame away" is a little self-preserving move so you don't have to engage with reasonable disagreement as you've already internalised us as flamers.

Lovebeingmama · 18/08/2017 19:22

A bit cringe but I still think being a sahm was the most difficult job I've ever done. I also think the role is very undervalued by society.
I'm back in work now however
I can understand how sahm's do feel the need to kick back and want to recognised for what they contribute.

Babbitywabbit · 18/08/2017 19:24

I think being a WOHP and raising a happy healthy family, run the home, budget etc etc is something to be proud of too Smile

Artisanjam · 18/08/2017 19:29

SAHMs main contribution is to their family and it primarily benefits their own family. Why does it need extra valuing by society? If it's right for your family surely that's the whole point.

However, SAHM on its own doesn't necessarily give very directly transferable experience when looking for employment. That experience may help with situational questions on an application form, bit not for a CV and that's not a reason to big up normal routine tasks to make them look super important.