AIBU to think SAHMs shouldn't put this nonsense on a CV/job application

[windygallows]

In the last year I've recruited for numerous part-time jobs, receiving applications from many women who took time out to be with family and are now returning to work.

Many of the applicants have been straightforward and simply noted on their CV that they have been SAHM - simple.

But increasingly applicants, perhaps based on some guidance from career counsellors or MN, are finding more creative ways to describe their absence from the workforce.

One, we'll call her Mrs Jones, wrote that for 10 years she was employed by the 'Jones family' and that her work involved 'organizing international travel for her family.' Because organizing a holiday is similar to the tasks led by senior executives.

Another wrote a list of every task she did at home from getting groceries to cleaning the house which, while impressive as an exhaustive list, doesn't really mean much when applying to an office-based role. Especially as it's basically a list of everything most employees have to fit in outside of work.

More galling are the claims that women make about the critical role they played - with my favourite being the one who 'Spent 7 years looking after my two children who needed and deserved my attention.'

There is huge value in the work that SAHMs do but please, please don't put this kind of waffle on your CV. You never know if your interview panel will consist of a FT working, single mom like me who finds it pretty insulting that working means her children apparently lost out on 'the attention they needed and deserved.' Urgh.

neither are comparable to cleaning your own house or looking after your own children!

I don't see the big difference frankly. Running your own house clearly has lots of overlapping skills with running someone else's.

I've come across a fair few childminders/nursery workers who have qualifications, but are providing a much inferior standard of care and stimulation than many mums. They may have 4 key children in their care (not sure of ratios) well many SAHM have 3-4 children at home, plus they're responsible for housekeeping tasks that a nursery worker wouldn't be. It's not a million miles away by any stretch.

Having brought up children is absolutely good preparation for childminding, how could it not be?!

well for a start, you don't raise or bring up your mindes, you provide a service that meets your clients families needs and not your own

Secondly, you love your kids, that helps when they're being horrid, "yuck"ing at the lunch you made and snotting all over you, I can't imagine finding the motivation to put up with that from other people's kids day in day out, that takes a whole other kinda person

And
over the years I've used some amazing childcare workers who were not parents themselves, and have had dealings with some crap ones who did have their own kids. There is no correlation.

The thing is (as has been pointed out a million times) that those of us who work do all those things too. We still do all the budgeting, planning and stuff - we just do it as well as a paid job.

I have done childcare for my own kids. I would not dream of including it as a transferable skill because I think I would be quite shite at looking after someone else's

They may have 4 key children in their care (not sure of ratios) well many SAHM have 3-4 children at home

3-4 of her own children. Who she loves!

as opposed to Milly who only comes on Wednesdays and never settled, Little tim who gets dropped off even if he has D&V and his parents never give you a heads up, Jack whose boundaries at home are WILDLY different from your ground rules, and Lilly-Mae whose parents don't speak and use your sessions as a drop off "buffer" - so her nursery bag contents are a constant source of "OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE HE DIDN'T PACK HER SPARE TEDDY CAN YOU PLEASE TELL HIM NEXT TIME HE DROPS HER OFF THAT SHE CAN'T SLEEP AT NAP TIME WITHOUT SPARE-TED, HE'S SO USELESS RA RA RA RA RA"

sod that! I'ld rather have 15 of my own who I can vaguely suppervise from the sofa in my PJs if I'm not having an energetic day than 2 "mindees" who have to somehow go home with a full diary of fun activities that they've done outdoors all day AND at the same time go home without a spot on their designer toddler clothes! Somehow! Cos mum wants hourly picture messages of playing out in parks but also gets huffy if the new wellies get mud on them!

I'd make a hopeless childminder. I'm not a very good cook and a hopeless cleaner. The people who value a SAHP is the family. Why should anyone else value them. They're not providing a service for anybody else.

And please don't call it mother either on your CV. Again, I am a mother and can do a job. I presume that you don't stop being a mother if you're looking for a job either.

Just put: Career break/childcare and you'll be grand

Because it's okay to have the odd day with your own kids where you've kept them alive and fed and that's it!

You can't do that if someone's paying you! You have to be crafty-outting person every day without fail!

.... "We still do all the budgeting, planning and stuff - we just do it as well as a paid job. "

And a SAHP still does all the budgeting, planning and stuff - they just do it as well as childcare.

"The people who value a SAHP is the family. Why should anyone else value them. They're not providing a service for anybody else."

Exactly.
It's not belittling SAHP at all to state that. It's simply a fact. If it's what you as a family decide is what you want, then great; you don't need to look for approval elsewhere.

And a SAHP still does all the budgeting, planning and stuff - they just do it as well as childcare

Wot you think that WOHPs leave their kids in nursery for a few hours later so they can do the budgets and household plannign alone?

WOHPs do their household chore whilst minding the kids too

In fact, The WOHPs I know are more likely to never have "sort out" time - they're either working, or at home with the kids
All of the SAHPs I know use preschool. they are the ones who get to do sorting out without the kids under their feet (and yes even the ones who "don't use nurseries" but who use a forest school 3 days a week because somehow forest school doesn't count! - what's with that??)

.... "We still do all the budgeting, planning and stuff - we just do it as well as a paid job."

And a SAHP still does all the budgeting, planning and stuff - they just do it as well as childcare.

Well indeed! In fact it's just a part of being an adult instead of an immature child so it has absolutely no place on a CV since it will not impress anyone, nor make you stand out from the crowd.

I wouldn't include it in my cv that I was a SAHM. My cv would consist of things relevant for the job so I get it.

Well indeed! In fact it's just a part of being an adult instead of an immature child so it has absolutely no place on a CV since it will not impress anyone, nor make you stand out from the crowd

(nods)

"I pay my bills and put my bins out" ………well yeah!.. you're SUPPOSED to…

Caring for your own children gives you some preparation for a childcare role but it's not equivalent.

Average day for a nursery worker or childminder will include some or all of the following
-morning handover from parent where you have to engage, make sure you take note if anything important and whatever today's random request is

• prepare breakfast in line with food hygiene regs, and current nutritional guidance, and the dietary and allergy requirements of multiple children
• clear up breakfast - also in line with regs

-plan activities - not just "let's do x" but proper documented planning of the activity, objectives, how it meets curriculum etc etc -risk assessments -proper written ones -changing nappies in line with regs (gloves, apron, different stuff for every child) -do the activities -complete feedback on activities -fill in sheets about what the child did that day, including meals and nappy changes -study for qualifications, including possibly having assessors in to watch you do your job -complete keyworker paperwork like development sheets, assessments against developmental milestones and so on -complete accident and incident forms in duplicate every child a kid bumps their knee. -Forms for medication being issued -have Ofsted or the care inspectorate appear on your doorstep with no notice. -ditto environmental health -lunch , like breakfast but worse! -get x kids to sleep at the same time without resorting to buggy walk or car seat, cos you can't leave the others Fill in diaries, learning journals etc -clean toys and rooms to a level pretty much nobody does at home -follow numerous other bits of guidance and regulation every day -new client show around -training new staff And on and on

And that's not including any running the business type stuff which a childminder does after hours.

It's not the same as being a parent.

Tinseltwins did you live in my house secretly cos your description of childminding is uncanny

Being a sahp is hard work. Its should be valued by the family.

That doesnt mean its a professional skill. A nanny/child minder/nursery worker is not a parent. They cant get pissed off and snap at the kids. They need first aid training, they have to follow tight regulation.

Doing something at home is not the same as doing it as a job. Pretending it is on a CV make you look like you have no clue what these jobs entail and that you have poor judgement when it comes to professional work.

That doesnt mean sahp has no value. It does.

And the skills that people keep say sahps learn are thing the wohp do. Budgeting, cooking, putting plasters on, organising events, organising hobbies, booking holidays etc.

A sahp may spend more hours doing childcare, but the skills that people are putting in CVs, the the op is talking about, are things that most adults do. Even if they dont have kids.

Anyone who thinks being a parent automatically means you must be a better childminder are deluding themseleves. A childminder may mention it, but they also have to have all the other relevant skills and qualifications too.

Using the fact that you have had a family as marketing tool, in advertising aimed at parents, does not mean it should be on your CV.

Tinseltwins, no I certainly don't think that. All parents are full-time parents and responsible for their children/house management etc whatever their personal arrangements.

I was making the point that parents do the same stuff, but distinction is a SAHP, with preschoolers, does additional hours of childcare, rather than additional hours of employment.

*... "We still do all the budgeting, planning and stuff - we just do it as well as a paid job. "

And a SAHP still does all the budgeting, planning and stuff - they just do it as well as childcare.*

So like breathing and shitting, these are things that everyone does. You wouldn't make them seem more important by calling them respiration and defecation and put them on your CV, so why try to give the impression that the ordinary tasks involved in being an adult and parent are somehow special and relevant?

Um, are you referring to my post? I've said nothing about putting this additional childcare on a CV or these things being particular to someone who is a SAHP.

"A nanny/child minder/nursery worker is not a parent. They cant get pissed off and snap at the kids."

Ha, I've seen many a childminder at toddler groups get pissed off and snap at their mindees . Seriously, I just looked up what you need to become a childminder. In terms of specialised knowledge, the ONLY requirement is an 'introductory childcare course' involving 5 modules of 2-3 hours each!!! This is hardly in-depth training to say the least. Sure, it may well be more difficult than looking after your own kids, but in practice, that's pretty much the most that a lot of childminders will have as relevant experience (certainly the ones local to me, anyway!). I'd certainly prefer my childminder to show that they have more than an introductory childcare courses' worth of knowledge of kids - and one way of doing that would be to...bring some up themselves.

A theme on these threads is that some SAHP don't feel valued enough.
I'm never really sure what they mean by that. Who isn't valuing them? How do they want to be valued?

Surely if you're a SAHP it's something you've discussed and agreed with your partner- so presumably they do value your role. If they don't, then it's time to have a discussion and perhaps recalibrate things.

But who else is supposed to be valuing you? If I were a SAHP I wouldn't expect random people in the street or over the internet to tell me how amazing I am.

It's a bit bizarre really- this mantra about SAHP not being valued, but when you dig a bit deeper, no one seems to be able to say what exactly it is they want

Ha, I've seen many a childminder at toddler groups get pissed off and snap at their mindees. Seriously, I just looked up what you need to become a childminder. In terms of specialised knowledge, the ONLY requirement is an 'introductory childcare course' involving 5 modules of 2-3 hours each!!!

I am sure some do snap. But thats not great and can you imagine the ofb mums and dads being happy with that.

The courses you do to be a cgildminder are legal requirements. As at risk assesments, health and saftey, ofstead inspections.........things that parents dont have to worry about.

I think this is the crunch. If SAHP's don't feel valued well then perhaps there's something wrong at home. It's often heard people don't feel valued by their employers.. Fine. If they want to be valued then get a different job where they feel they are valued. Or stay where they are and not be valued.

When mine were little I'd look after them during the day, educate and play, organise meet up with friends for play during the day.
Me and dh would share the domestic stuff.
I'd do household and business admin and dh would do baths reading etc when he was here so 5/7 nights.
When they started school I did household and business stuff, errands, shopping during the morn, my own time in the afternoon, then picked kids up and spent time with them until bedtime, ferried them to activities.
Then another time I studied and gained several qualifications, another time Home educated.
At the moment I work pt, I may continue to retirement, or I may stop next week.