AIBU to think SAHMs shouldn't put this nonsense on a CV/job application

[windygallows]

In the last year I've recruited for numerous part-time jobs, receiving applications from many women who took time out to be with family and are now returning to work.

Many of the applicants have been straightforward and simply noted on their CV that they have been SAHM - simple.

But increasingly applicants, perhaps based on some guidance from career counsellors or MN, are finding more creative ways to describe their absence from the workforce.

One, we'll call her Mrs Jones, wrote that for 10 years she was employed by the 'Jones family' and that her work involved 'organizing international travel for her family.' Because organizing a holiday is similar to the tasks led by senior executives.

Another wrote a list of every task she did at home from getting groceries to cleaning the house which, while impressive as an exhaustive list, doesn't really mean much when applying to an office-based role. Especially as it's basically a list of everything most employees have to fit in outside of work.

More galling are the claims that women make about the critical role they played - with my favourite being the one who 'Spent 7 years looking after my two children who needed and deserved my attention.'

There is huge value in the work that SAHMs do but please, please don't put this kind of waffle on your CV. You never know if your interview panel will consist of a FT working, single mom like me who finds it pretty insulting that working means her children apparently lost out on 'the attention they needed and deserved.' Urgh.

Why do women hate women so much?

No way would I ever have worked and used childcare, imo my children deserved better otherwise I would have worked and used childcare.

That is a judgment.

If i said 'i think my kids deserve to see a womans place doesnt have to be in the home' or 'my kids deserve to have 2 incomes'

Lots of sahp would see that as a judgment.

Had anyone reported me to my boss when i was choosing cvs to bin he would have told them to get on with their own work and stop worrying about what i was doing. I was the highest biller in our company including my MD and working with temps for the NHS you have to properly manage your time. I also binned any CVs in a silly font and anything over 4 pages. When you receive 100 a day you learn to very quickly sift through the bullshit

Agree Gorgosparta, that's very much a judgemental statement.

Lesley1980

And sometimes one or two comments on a CV or in a covering letter is all it takes to move your CV to the "nope" pile. For a lot of jobs you get a tonne of applicants, you might only be able to interview 10% of them - so you tend to trust the impression the CV makes. That's as much about how you think the person will fit in with the team as it is about the skills and experience sometimes

While agree that the examples you have given are cringeworthy and not great, I also think you are being harsh, I know too many women who went with the straight forward approach you recommend and ouldnt get so much of a hint of an interview. In each case a re-write of a CV later, to produce one that avoided any mention of being a mum, and interviews and jobs were secured quickly.

I didn't explicitly mention being a SAHM. I guess, really I was a WAHM, so was able to put the 'W' elements on my CV. There wasn't an actual employment gap, technically. I know other mums used any form of voluntary work they'd done, if they could. Yes, it may still be obvious to a recruiter than the applicant has had a break to have kids. But I think trying to show you've kept up with relevant work place skills somehow is necessary. Waffle about grocery shopping or statements justifying the decision to be a SAHM are terrible and a reflection of either poor advice given or good advice being misunderstood. But someone, for example, applying for a team admin role who states she's spent X years/months coordinating a local (school/playgroup) committee with duties for scheduling and minuting meetings, sending key communications, etc is listing relevant experience, surely?

Oooh interesting thread. I set up a self employed bookkeeping business when I went on maternity leave nearly 3 years ago and don't intend on going back to the work place for another 5 years (had another baby since).

I'm working part time self employed and continuing my main studies and taking short courses to enhance my CV for the future.

I'm assuming that focusing on this and giving raising a family only a brief mention, is at all is the best way forward?

I think that's been said several times now - yes, volunteering type experience gained whilst a sahp can be relevant and mentioned if appropriate.

Tbh getting back in to work after taking a "career break" to raise a family or be a homemaker, which is what I used on my cv, but also mentioned the little adult learning courses I did so I wasn't just at home. I learned sign language, typing business letters and did a counselling skills course because being at home alone all day sucked for me! So I did free courses at my local learning centre. Still took me a long time to get a job.
Putting loads of strange mum tasks on a cv is cringe though and it would annoy me if I had to read all that. Seems like some advisors are doing mums/dads an injustice by saying you should be creative. Employers are often parents too or at least know parents, they know what you've been doing. I don't think it needs any elaboration.
I feel very lucky that I got to stay home and raise my babies, it is sad that getting a job afterwards is pretty tough. I guess competition is fierce and sometimes you take a job you applied for just for the craic (yes my manager knows I applied for a laugh, he doesn't care because I do the job and I do it well. He also likes to tell me that no one wants to work where I work for some reason).

I wouldn't be impressed by someone who thought that sort of thing was an appropriate inclusion on a CV. Not saying I wouldn't give them a chance, depending on the role and standard of the rest of the CV, but it would really put me off. Saying they had a career break to raise a family- not a problem at all.

To the person who said SAHMs are undervalued, what kind of recognition would you like? Lots of people raise their children to be good people regardless of their employment status, I don't see anything specifically valuable about being a SAHP to anyone except the family involved.

I feel very lucky that I got to stay home and raise my babies, it is sad that getting a job afterwards is pretty tough.

It absolutely is and it's a crying shame. It should be easier to keep one's skills up. But it isn't. And I personally would never have taken the risk of the hit to income that not doing paid work brings, but I'm also lucky that it wasn't an issue.

As I've said repeatedly, the issue isn't that someone has been a sahp, it's whether or not they have the right background for the role.

Why do women hate women so much?

Indeed. Terrible things here.

I'm sorry to ask the obvious question and I admit I haven't read all the thread as I havent time or energy but op, what would you recommend a SAHM puts on her CV then to explain the year's at home?

You just put something like career break due to caring responsibilities.

To the person who said SAHMs are undervalued, what kind of recognition would you like? Lots of people raise their children to be good people regardless of their employment status, I don't see anything specifically valuable about being a SAHP to anyone except the family involved.

Lots of jobs aren't particularly valuable to anyone except the family who depends on the wage.

Care work is spectacularly undervalued. When it's paid it's barely a wage. Childcare workers are paid well under minimum wage while they train, carers for the elderly are not given the necessary time to do a good job, or unsuitable people are hired, leading to mistreatment.

makeourfuture, why on earth do you think that the women who are saying that putting this stuff on your cv is a bad idea hate other women? Most of us are giving advice that this is a bad idea and doesn't come across well, and have suggested better approaches.

What part of that is hateful?

Surely if we hated other women nobody would say anything?

Why do women hate women so much?
Why does it seem to be a trend on MN at the moment where disagreeing with another woman/mother means you hate women?

SAHM's feel undervalued as it's such drudge work. Its really important and it's right for us, but my god its hard going and relentless. And when they grow up a bit it's so bloody hard to get into the workplace again.

You can't actually do right for doing wrong, that's the bottom line. But you look at how your kids have turned out and you think, that was worth it.

Gorgo*

I ought to know if I am being judgemental surely?
I'd think my decisions were better than others, or I was right or better.
Which I can assure you isn't the case.
If you choose to see it like that due to your own issues that's your choice.
There is only you who can decide how you feel about something, nobody else can make you feel anything.

What is better for one child isn't better for another, our kids are just as different from other peoples kids as we are, otherwise the world would be a very boring place.

I believe my dc were better off not being in childcare, others disagree and love it for their kids, no right, no wrong.

I completely believe childcare suits the parents better than the kids and staying at home suits the kids better than the parents.

I completely believe that all sweeping generalisations are horseshit.

My kids have turned out okay. They're not the best in the world in any particular sense, but they're okay.

But I have loved being a SAHM and I've loved working only part time. It has been great for me.

I don't actually want to be very high achieving or hard working. I like a relaxed pace of life, but I'm a good employee because I'm competent.

Women shouldn't need to justify why they do XYZ.

All this talk of CVs is so variable by employer and sector. I've worked in areas where there is no way people would chuck CVs in the bin. Every one would have to be graded against the criteria. In other areas any CV with all this recommended management efficiency speak would get your CV in the bin.

So it is all horses for courses. Look at where you're applying to, what they're looking for, their values and apply accordingly.

I'm so glad I read this thread after getting a new job recently, because if I'd read it before it would be soul destroying.

If a woman chooses to be a SAHM, of course she feels that this is the most valuable use of her time. Otherwise she simply wouldn't do it, would she?

Unfortunately that's not true for many stay at home mums. Many just don't want to work, they enjoy being at home, they don't see it as the most valuable use of their time to be at home, more they'd rather not work if they can help it, having kids are a good excuse and they'd rather never go back.

I've a few friends like this and it's fair enough when they are honest about it and own it, it only becomes an issue when they get all sanctimonious about making sacrifices when really they just don't want to work and are hoping never to have to set foot in a work place again.

Many have no financial choice but to be SAHM.
You have to earn at least a moderately good salary to be able to afford childcare.

And some women end up staying at home because of the prohibitive cost of childcare. Sadly, the choice is not always a positive one - it's simply the least bad option.