AIBU to think SAHMs shouldn't put this nonsense on a CV/job application

[windygallows]

In the last year I've recruited for numerous part-time jobs, receiving applications from many women who took time out to be with family and are now returning to work.

Many of the applicants have been straightforward and simply noted on their CV that they have been SAHM - simple.

But increasingly applicants, perhaps based on some guidance from career counsellors or MN, are finding more creative ways to describe their absence from the workforce.

One, we'll call her Mrs Jones, wrote that for 10 years she was employed by the 'Jones family' and that her work involved 'organizing international travel for her family.' Because organizing a holiday is similar to the tasks led by senior executives.

Another wrote a list of every task she did at home from getting groceries to cleaning the house which, while impressive as an exhaustive list, doesn't really mean much when applying to an office-based role. Especially as it's basically a list of everything most employees have to fit in outside of work.

More galling are the claims that women make about the critical role they played - with my favourite being the one who 'Spent 7 years looking after my two children who needed and deserved my attention.'

There is huge value in the work that SAHMs do but please, please don't put this kind of waffle on your CV. You never know if your interview panel will consist of a FT working, single mom like me who finds it pretty insulting that working means her children apparently lost out on 'the attention they needed and deserved.' Urgh.

Nobody is saying WOHMs can't include things they've done as parents on their CV!

Nobody is saying WOHMs can't include things they've done as parents on their CV!

But again, why would you?

Its irrelevant.

That's my point though. SAHM being encouraged to put it in cvs in great detail and with fancy terms by 'experts' is largely pointless as we could all do it!

silverysurfer you missed my response to statistically's question then?

As a woman in a very senior role, being a mother is not on my CV, never has been. My boss didn't even know that I'm a parent until a business trip abroad and a pint of beer. If I had to explain an absence from the workforce I would put it as travel or something absolutely not motherhood or family commitments. CVs like that are very cringeworthy and do women a real disservice. Motherhood is not a job, it's a lifestyle choice, difficult though it may be.

I absolutely agree with what KurriKurri is saying and I'm speaking as a WOHM. WOHM simply do not do the same amount of child caring, the range/breadth of tasks and activities, with the same level of input as a SAHM.

It is ludicrous to suggest that the person who dedicates 3 hours to the work that someone else is dedicating 8 hours to can do it to the same standard. There will be areas where the SAHM has the time and mental energy to put more in and do a better job. Whether that's fostering children's creativity through art and craft, exploring the neighborhood, or having the time to cook nicer meals, the extra time can and does make a difference.

That's not to belittle WOHM who are doing their best in the time available, I'm one of them after all. But to suddenly suggest that time spent is totally immaterial when it comes to parenting (when that wouldn't be accepted in any other professional area) is silly.

Because as an individual WOHM or SAHM, there may have been a particular thing that you did that not every other parent in the world does do, that demonstrates you have transferable skills for a job.

Just as when people have a degree, there may be particular things which they did on their degree course that not everybody else on their degree course did which are relevant to a job above and beyond the basics of 'I have a degree.'

And just as some people who go and travel abroad have done particular things that demonstrate skills that other people who travel abroad have not done.

That is the key to writing a good CV. Find the particular things you do in various parts of your life that show your skills and are not just some generic mass.

Of course is someone writes I did a degree which shows I can turn up on time, or I can get my kids to the doctors appointment on time as a SAHM, or I can wash my hands because I once had an after school job in a pizza place, CV readers will be going WTAF? Bin.

But very many people suitable for employment will have demonstrated their skills in interesting and unique ways across a range of different experiences. And that depends on what job you're applying for, but often showing passion for a particular area includes pursuing things outside of paid employment.

If I had to explain an absence from the workforce I would put it as travel or something absolutely not motherhood or family commitments.

That's not really going to work for a 5-year absence or more, though, is it? And you're going to have a pretty hard time answering questions about where you went.

I don't mention my kids anywhere on my CV or in interviews, but if I had to explain an extended absence, I would keep it to a bland "career break for caring responsibilities", or similar, which gives the broad picture without indicating that it was kids; it could have been caring for ailing parents/other family members. And I absolutely challenge the idea that a CV with one line describing "career break for family reasons" is "cringeworthy". You have to explain the gap; that's a professional, minimal way to do it.

jemmy I would put it as travel or something absolutely not motherhood or family commitments.

And in doing so you are doing parents and mothers a real disservice.

As someone in a "very senior role" you must influence your work culture.

Yes, I would also just put a one line 'break due to caring responsibilities' on a cv when you list work.

If I wanted to mention any particular skills or interests from it, I'd put them into a skills section of a cv, along with other examples of that skill.

I'd also list voluntary work in a separate list to paid work. I wouldn't use it to fill in a gap in a list of paid roles.

just because a SAHM spends 8 hours more taking care of kids does not actually mean she is making a good job of it or doing it well. Some of us are hardworking, some are lazy - so the trouble with putting any of that on your CV is that your actual ability at the "job" of childcare that is being described cannot be measured against goals like it would have been in a workplace childcare environment.

" I'm good at childcare because I say so" holds no shakes against achieving measured goals given in a nursery performance review with your employer.

That makes it sound really long! What I mean is - 2 page CV with jobs, education and selected voluntary positions on one side, and skills/ attributes on the other. The skills section is individually written for each individual job.

there may have been a particular thing that you did that not every other parent in the world does do, that demonstrates you have transferable skills for a job..

It still wouldnt be applicable on a job application as the experience is not in a professional setting.

If I had to explain an absence from the workforce I would put it as travel or something absolutely not motherhood or family commitments.

I'm actually shocked by this.

Why on earth would you lie/obscure the truth? Are you ashamed of being a mother or something?

That's doing your sex a huge disservice right there. It sounds to me like you can't reconcile being a mother with being the perfect worker bee. So you'll just blank them out of existence when at work. That doesn't help anyone.

Sparta, it's entirely acceptable to put down skills, interests and experiences gained while not in a professional setting.

Indeed for some roles, it would be expected.

I wouldn't put the detail of transferable skills gained outside work on a cv, but would do so in a covering letter.

While I don't think 'getting the children to school on time' would be a relevant transferable skill (although there are times when it feels like the most complicated part of the day!) there are an awful lot of things a SAHP parent might do which really are relevant as answers to situational based questions such as 'tell us about s difficulty and how you overcame it' or similar.

I don't think parenthood should never be mentioned - just not the first or only thing that's mentioned - when I'm interviewing, anyway.

I've been on the panel in an interview where a SAHM told us that's where she'd been for the past four years and she'd found it very fulfilling. That's fine. Wasn't fine though when she said it was the only good option for children's development and that she thought less of people who didn't do the same.

I have no children, the two other women on the panel did. She didn't get the job because she offended them.

Laurie- exactly.

My OH is in a "very senior position"- if he is needed to pick up our son or daughter or needed for some family reason he won't feel the need to lie about it.

jemmy- why do you feel the need to lie?

Do you think this is helping the position of women within your company?

I suppose it's just my psychology and also what I was advised to do when seeking advice with my undergraduate degree. I was told that I shouldn't mention my maternal status at any point and so I haven't. As for having more than a five year break. I did have a five year break. Luckily I did voluntary work throughout so that is on my CV and yes travel. Motherhood has many transferable skills but realistically listing them on your CV just irritates. For a longer break you've got a point.

If I had to explain an absence from the workforce I would put it as travel or something absolutely not motherhood or family commitments

You'd rather say you bummed around for several years on an extended holiday than say you were helping to raise a family? Plus they would surely think you were a mega-weirdo once they discover you have children, yet you were apparently travelling round south america by yourself during their infancy.

scottishdiem, "I think that since working mothers do the same tasks as full time mothers, as well as juggling work, their skill set may be more appealing as they can multi-task more"

What are you talking about? The skill of multi-tasking can be held or not held by anyone. It's not dependent on whether they are a male or female, parents or not parents, childcare arrangements or employment status.

I'm not lying. It's not mentioned because it's not relevant to my job.

There is no way i would mask the time i spent at home.

I am not ashamed of it and anyone who didnt give me a job because i was a sahm, 5 years ago, is someone i dont want to work for.

I am higher earner. I am in a 'very senior role' and never come across anyone dieregarding a cv because it says the person spent time a sahp.

Papafran, I travel with my kids.

jemmy you contradict yourself - you said that if you would I would put it as travel or something absolutely not motherhood

That's lying.

Why are you uncomfortable with the truth?